|Reviews for A New Dawn|
| everydreamforthefuture chapter 1 . 2/15/2013
Nice idea! I like both H and E, and the story is well written - the joke about Courfeyrac! and Enjolras enraged on his friends' behalf, really good.
| kaletra7 chapter 1 . 12/18/2010
This is actually beautiful.
I loved every word :)
| Robyn-Enjolras chapter 1 . 4/8/2009
this is awesome! love it
| thebison chapter 1 . 4/8/2009
Daughter of Thranduil,
I absolutely adored this little one shot, although I do think that you could go somewhere with this story, and I would love to read it if you decide to continue it! What's wrong with Enjolras having a little romance?
| Clodia chapter 1 . 4/8/2009
Hello! I enjoyed this fic, although I have no idea of the story and only a slightly better idea about the French Revolution. You set the scene nicely; even though I haven't a clue about the book, I'm getting Enjolras' circs and attitudes loud and clear. Very nicely done with him, actually. The pride, single-mindedness, lack of realism: all very well done. Good embarrassment when the lady misunderstands his chivalrous motives and a tidy ending: for her, the night is a brief respite; ordinary life goes on for ordinary people, no matter what single-minded revolutionaries think. Now, onto the technical notes.
'long legs easting' - should this be 'eating'?
'her made-up face', just a thought, but isn't 'painted' a more normal term for cosmetics in period pieces? But maybe that's too overused for you.
'“But...why?” Enjolras was confused.' 'Kay, about this paragraph. It may well be just me, indeed it may just be my unfamiliarity with the original material, but Enjolras' immediate jump to 'why on earth do you do it?' seems remarkably naive. I mean, you set him up as personally ascetic, which is fine, but it's also clear that his friends
and acquaintances aren't, and that it's not as if he's never met a prostitute before. Isn't he moving rather fast from 'o my! a whore!' to advanced social commentary? And shouldn't it take more than a glance and a couple of words to discover that the lady is neither a drunk nor a wanton (and even having established that, why does this girl's occupation shock him when others don't? - though if this is a gentle reference to inbuilt double standards, well done!)? Please do note that although I seem to be harping on at perhaps undue length about this, all I'm really saying is that you seem to me to be moving a little too fast; and this may be my problem owing to lack of familiarity with the source material.
'you can’t afford to have pride!” [She] cried' - unnecessary capitalisation of 'she'.
'this polite, blond young man with the face of angel but the eyes and voice of an Olympian'. I blinked a little at this. Are you saying he looks pretty and speaks like a god? If so, I understand you, but... hm. Is this canonical ref I'm not getting? Technically a POV switch, I think, but I think you're detached enough throughout for that not to matter. (Same applies for the later ref to E as an Olympian messenger.)
'would never really have the same change [chance?] as his fellows.'
The formality of Henriette's dialogue shifts a bit, I think: you don't always contract and you might want to, otherwise there's a rather jarring sense of a shift in register. Her speech about students and hopeful eyes could do with taking down a notch particularly.
'Enjolras stood also. “Go home to bed, Henriette,” he instructed solemnly.' I liked this: Enjolras' apparent conviction that he has the right to tell Henriette what to do, even though he's only just met her. Delicious taste of the political activist who talks about the universal and equal libertas that's bound to end in distinctly unequal
'But Enjolras simply was not interested in romantics...' Because I don't know the canon, I have no idea whether this is meant to hint at something or is a straightforward statement. But because you end with the ellipsis, it
looks like a hint. *Oh wait, scrap that, I glanced through your other fics and I'm guessing it was a hint. In that case, nicely done!*
'all she hoped was thay [that] she would live'
As I said, I enjoyed your story despite knowing nothing about the canon. I hope this is useful and comprehensible!
| BeBopALula chapter 1 . 4/5/2009
Good! I like that Enjolras remained politics-minded the whole time and that his speech was a bit overblown. I usually wouldn't imagine him being so, well, soft-hearted, but you kept him sufficiently Enjolras-like.