|Reviews for Innocent|
| BartWLewis chapter 10 . 5/17
Love it! So far my favorite Star Wars story.
| Kennayil chapter 10 . 12/10/2014
I seriously enjoyed this story. It was a redemption/balance that actually is about balance. Great job.
| Big Bad Bitch chapter 9 . 10/18/2014
You know what I just realized? One Darth Vader is a bastard since his mom and missing dad weren't married and two I'm a big bad bitch
| Guest chapter 7 . 8/29/2014
Ya know... I did have a suspicion that Madine was the Emperor's son. It just seemed rather likely, what whit his dislike of Force users and how he liked torturing Luke.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/28/2014
The story concept is interesting, I haven't read one like this before. Though, you are using too many connectors imo. I keep reading "as" and "and" over and over in almost every sentence, which can be quite off putting. You should cancel some of them and start a new sentence, that will make reading a lot easier.
| 7ThatRandomFangirl7 chapter 2 . 5/14/2014
I love this story so far...
| Jedipilot24 chapter 3 . 5/2/2014
I am only going to say this one more time. You are doing Madine's character a serious disservice by portraying him in this manner. Here is my rant on Madine!Bashing, from my profile:
Madine bashing: I really don't know where this came from but apparently it's become the thing to bash Madine in post-ESB fics. There is absolutely no reason for this and I advise anyone who either has done this or who is intending to do this to first read Madine's article on Wookiepedia. If you really need either a Rebel willing to use Imperial methods or a former Imperial having difficulty letting go and you can't find one on the Wook, then there is a very simple solution: invent an OC. In fact, I'll do that right now. The following OC might see use in a future fic of mine but right now he is up for grabs and I strongly suggest that you use him in the antagonistic role you have currently cast Madine as.
General Torick Razor was a minor player Grand Moff Trachta's Anti-Sith Conspiracy (see the Wook for details); when that conspiracy fell through, Razor panicked and defected to the Rebel Alliance. Razor brought with him a vast amount of credits and high-level Imperial secrets, which gave him a lot of clout despite having an otherwise incompatible ideology with the mainstream Alliance. Razor has, over time, accumulated a small following from other Rebels who appreciate Razor's hardline, no-nonsense attitude and who believe that the mainstream Alliance has become too soft and trusting. Razor still harbors a strong distrust of Force-users and does not understand why so many other people revere Luke Skywalker. Razor also never really adjusted to the Alliance's way of doing things and so has on several occasions secretly resorted to torture and other Imperial-esque methods when lesser ones seemed not to work. The Alliance High Council has no idea of this though Alliance Counter-Intelligence is suspicious.
See how easy that was? No need to bash Madine, a man who defected BECAUSE he had problems with Imperial methods. See his backstory on the Wook. I deliberately created Torick Razor as a foil to Crix Madine and your story will be so much more interesting with this kind of contrast, instead of what your current depiction of Madine as flat, two-dimensional, irrational and clutching the Evil Ball just because he can. The Crix Madine that we see in the EU would NEVER come up with the proposal that you've put in his mouth, but Torick Razor might because he has actually has REASONS to hate force-sensitives that much. Crix Madine does not.
Please take my advice and revise your story.
| sylviajohns chapter 10 . 12/15/2013
Great work :) the bonding in the family, the scene when Vader destroyed the limits on Mara's mind. Keeping Vader in character at all. But I still don't like the idea of Luke being more powerful than Anakin. It's not true :p but it's your story! :)
| Illuviar chapter 10 . 11/28/2013
| Vi-Violence chapter 10 . 11/15/2013
Not bad, the ending was a little rushed though.
| Vi-Violence chapter 4 . 11/15/2013
Grammar issue, you said that his mother sired him, I can only assume that this means you don't understand what "sired" means, it's the same as fathered, a sire is a father while the matching term for mother is dam.
| that guy chapter 10 . 9/24/2013
short but good, I would like to see a fully fleshed version but enjoyed it none the less
| Foonak chapter 1 . 6/18/2013
The premise looked really interesting but omg I can't stand the grammatical structuring and the punctuation. There are so many run-on sentences and unnecessary commas everywhere! Please get some help editing what could be a masterpiece!
| Light Lord Cybergate chapter 3 . 6/10/2013
If Madine is an imperial spy then accusing Luke of being a spy just won the Imperials the war.
(a) The jedi order is officially defeated...even if Luke stays true to the light side the Jedi Order as it was dies with Yoda...at best Luke will be a grey force user.
(b) Once word of Lukes parentage (let's not even talk about Leia's) leaks into the rest of the alliance chances are quite high it destroy the rebel alliance from the inside...moral for one would take a huge fall... and I wouldn't be surprised if the alliance broke into two groups...
End result:...distrust and maybe even civil war.
(c) The Empire now controls ALL force users... Joda is too old and thus doesn't really count anymore.
(Not to mention the Empire has more troops and better ships)
Madine...if your an Emp Spy... you may never be able to show your self (at least not to Luke) but...
| Wasber chapter 10 . 5/26/2013
Nice is a and execution