Reviews for Innocent
Guest chapter 5 . 11/25/2017
Hi, I am enjoying the story and wpuld offer to beta if I had the time. You really need someone to edit or proof read your writing as there are many easily corrected mistakes in every chapter. For example, "One day she may realize that you will not allow her to be the apprentice [you] want her to be my Master," said Vader, as h" the emperor is not the one who wants her to be his apprentice, she is. You have a creative mind. Work on cleaning up your writing to be excellent
MattKennedy chapter 10 . 5/1/2017
Love it! At first I didn't like it when Mara was included, but I like the role she played later in the story. :)
Gold Testament chapter 5 . 1/10/2017
Oh I hope Leia heard that conversation between father and son. Maybe ask one of them to teach her so she can see if the force will shiver between her and Han? ;)
Gold Testament chapter 4 . 1/10/2017
Oh so the guy everyone hates is the son of Palpatine huh? Give Leia a lightsaber so she can kill him. As loyalty to the rebellion and her family.
Gold Testament chapter 3 . 1/10/2017
Wait till Han finds out that he's in love with Vader's daughter and has the loyalty and friendship of his son. Also *Bashes you with a death star sized mallet* WHY DIDN'T YOU HAVE CHEWY RIP THAT ASSHOLE MADINE TO PIECES?!
Me chapter 1 . 1/10/2017
This was a good twist. I wished for a little more Mara-Luke interaction, but it was great.
multyfangirl20 chapter 10 . 12/23/2016
OK , I was a bit disappointed that all of the high command died , but it didn't turn out all that bad , but the last bit. No. Just no.
Asoka is Ani's little sister figure. She is aunt Asoka and not step mother. She can be a mother figure to Luke and a sister figure to Leia since she is their aunt but she and Ani aren't together. Sorry but I'm just that kind of shipper.
multyfangirl20 chapter 8 . 12/23/2016
Like I said in a past review , kill Madine in the most terrifying and painful way that won't push the Skywalker family farther into the dark side.
multyfangirl20 chapter 7 . 12/23/2016
I'm still expecting for them to turn back to the light side. They won't necessarily be jedi , but the light side has the power to heal while the dark side... Well the Skywalker's don't have the usual rules apply to them.
multyfangirl20 chapter 6 . 12/22/2016
A blast in the force huh, I think that will get the attention of Vader and the emperor.
multyfangirl20 chapter 4 . 12/22/2016
YES YES YES! Feed him to that sand monster that Jabba has , feed him to a Rancor , throw him into a gundark nest , dump him in the Dagoba swamp so he'll be swallowed by a swamp snake! Any number of painful and frightening deaths that don't drive the Skywalkers farther to the darkside. By him I mean Madine.
OK reading about the guys heritage does easy some of my dark hatred but I'm a fan of the 'Jedi prince ' series , young Ken Palpy is Palpy's grandson. His father prefers to be a pacifist and has a couple of unusual powers. But he got thrown into a salt mine where he met a Jedi princess prisoner who specialized in healing. She was Ken's mother. Ken and his father turned out alright despite who they're related to, admittedly Ken was hided and shielded until after Palpy and Vader were killed by Anakin and Luke.
multyfangirl20 chapter 2 . 12/21/2016
Wow, :/ [:( , just wow. I'm really hating him right now. Thank goodness that enough said no to his idea. Is there any chance that he's being influenced by the emperor or something that will get him locked up when its discovered? Because I can see this becoming a 4 way war if worst comes to worst , the alliance , the break off group lead by general Crazy idiot , Vader who's main priority is to protect his children and the emperor who everyone will be against. But there's a slight sliver of a chance that general Crazy idiot might rejoin his side.
multyfangirl20 chapter 1 . 12/10/2016
I wish that those two techs and Madine were dead of a painful death or wishing that they were dead. A few senerios popped into my head about that , one is : Vader shows up in his star destroyer and basically sends out as wide span message as possible so most of the rebellion will see it that says " thanks Madine for pumping drugs and beating Skywalker so he couldn't keep his mental shields up so I could find him and this base through the force. But since you torchured him I'm going to kill you." And something prevents him from finishing him off so the idiot gets to face the wrath of the surviving rebellion.
Another is a dying hand of Palpy's sneaks her way into the meeting with autio & video from when the techs provoked Luke into trying to kill them and she shows them it. " I'm dying so I thought 'what the heck , I'll get a good laugh before then.' Imagine my surprise to find a general doing the siths work in turing the little Jedi to the dark side."
Even a Jedi force ghost turning sith over what Madine is doing to Luke .yelling at him during the meeting and revealing that Luke and Leia are twins , children of Padme Amadala and their father is the chosen one so the force keeps an eye on them. At one point screaming " I am part of the bipolar force!" There's added fuel to the fire in the form of the protectiveness of those who knew/admired their mother.
Guest chapter 4 . 11/16/2016

why do writers in this fandom always feel the need to trick readers into reading eu compliant fics? WARN if you're going to use non-canon and unpopular characters

not doing so only gets your name added to a list of authors readers should avoid
which I just did
Supermoi chapter 3 . 9/22/2016
She took it well all things considered XD
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