Reviews for Focus
D4cHilliN chapter 1 . 5/31/2009
Very eery and the ending was a total shocker-twist your head around- what the heck- unexpected ending of all time.

But it was...AWESOME _ Very nice. First POV, i liked that. And yeah maybe Goku acts pretty dumb but hey, he's perfectly capable of pulling off something like this.

A big idiot, with alot of power, not being able to focus this outcome.

I remember once in the series when Goku was super saiyan and he patted Chichi on the back and sent her through the window.

He's a goof xP But I feel so sorry for him here. Even sorrier then I do for poor Vegeta.

Okay, no That's not true. D: I'm crying for Vegeta. Ahh, how that much have felt.

Aw and Bulma! What she's said about the baby, oh, it's so sad.

Wonderful story there. Completely unique and a heart stopper.

Wayward Saiyan chapter 1 . 5/31/2009
Wow... I really enjoyed that. It was... gripping to say the least. It's a perfect one-shot. I totally get it, too. The only reason Vegeta was able to fend Goku off so easily was because he was focused, whereas Goku was flipping out, so despite his superiority in strength, he still couldn't land a hit. Interesting concept. Great work!
Zhekee chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
very good story , enjoyed reading it, a sequel or an other one-shot about this wouldnt be bad.
Something About Something chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
Incredible. It was so well written that it took me a couple of minutes to get my brain back in functioning order. And even now the only word that continually filters into my brain is Incredible
babyyl0ve chapter 1 . 4/9/2009

LOL anyway, congratulations on another great story (Y) But I'm quite a big fan of both Goku and Vegeta, and Goku KILLING Vegeta? Oh my D:

ps. its 'plough' not 'plow', I'm quite sure. I actually had to look that one up, since 'plow' really didnt look right. (:
Remembering childhood chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
Damn! That's a great story! I'm at a loss of words... I was a bit surprised by the first person POV at first, I thought it might be a bit over-elaborate for Goku's, but then, as the story unfolded, I agreed with you on how the big fighter could think. I liked his reflexions during the fight, though you've really got me intrigued on how/why Vegeta got so focused!

The last lines just killed me. Precious.

I know it's a one-shot and self-sufficient story, but it's so good I'd actually like a sequel!

Keep it up.
Supalady05 chapter 1 . 4/8/2009
Oh. My. God. I literally had to pick my jaw up from the ground. I am speechless. And not many fanfics have that effect. Everything came together... But I did not see that coming. Great story.
aquacrow chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
WOW...just, wow. I absolutely love this story. You did such an amazing job making it so intense in something as relatively short as this fic. It is a bit odd having Goku seem even remotely intelligent, but at the same time, if you didn't make him seem articulate, this story wouldn't have worked out. Anyway, great job putting real emotions in here (having Bulma mention the baby). Excellent work and I hope to see more fics by you soon! :)
hopelesslydemented chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
It's hard to think of Goku losing his focus like that... The story was riveting but I think you need to develop the fight scenes more to understand what made Goku snap like that. And why not post a story from Vegeta's POV? :)
Darke Angelus chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
First person narrative… interesting. I’m not sure if Gokou is the right character to do this with since you have to make him more thoughtful, not to mention intelligent, then he actually is in both the manga and anime in order to pull it off. Let’s face it, the guy is a moron and quite clueless on what actually takes place around him… unless there’s food or battle nearby. If I understand this story correctly he loses his temper and kills Vegeta. OOC/AU. This was a pecular concept, with an even more perplexing ending. Nice attempt, tho’… **shakes head in bewilderment**
XxKuroyoxX chapter 1 . 4/7/2009
That was really...I dunno how to explain it, it went straight to my favs if that says anything, it was fantastic, i love these kinds of one-shots, where everything just fits without another chapter, it was wonderful, i hope you can write more of these, i would defiantly read them, anyway, keep on going, i can't wait to read more of these :)
pallyndrome chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
wow i really liked it it was so sad! oh please don't end it like that - can he be wished back? or something? ah i wish it had a happy ending! what about the baby? :'(
Talentless Muse chapter 1 . 4/6/2009

That was really twisted, but it was really good too. I kind of suspected that something like that was going to happen. There was something about the mention of Vegeta wearing the white undershirt that set off the first alarm bells in my head, but I didn't expect it to go quite like that.

You did a good job writing how slow his death was. If you'd gone on for much longer it might've felt like you were just dragging it out, but you cut it off before you hit that point. I would have liked a "What The Hell Hero" moment from one of the other characters, but I don't know where you would have put that without just breaking too much from the shock and what was happening.

Unfortunately, after being made to watch Repo! The Genetic Opera the mental image of a person holding a still beating heart in his hand only brings scenes from that movie back to mind. There's nothing quite like watching a man make a hand puppet out of a recently carved out I digress.

Great job. I look forward to seeing more of your writing.
Cendrekai chapter 1 . 4/6/2009
Wow, just wow. This was crazy good. I did not know what to expect. It made my stomach sort of flip though. Good work.
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