Reviews for Toonville: Season 1
Evil Riggs chapter 1 . 4/8/2009
lol wut

In all seriousness, this never really gets off the ground. I only really cracked a grin at the, "What about the dead kid?" line. The rest consisted the kind of "lol so randum XD" humor that is never amusing to anyone but the dreadfully drunk, high, or sugar-infused. I am none of those at the moment, God help me, and so the whiplash-inducing scene changes and complete lack of comedic setup just ended up getting on my nerves.

Suggestions: I'm not sure if I have any. I generally reccomend avoiding script formatting for stories outside the screenplay section. Rewriting this as a straight prose story might help it read better. If so, be sure to expand the set-up for your jokes and include the kind of descriptive detail necessary for absurd humor.

Good luck with this and all your future projects.