|Reviews for Extermination|
| KoopalingFan chapter 16 . 4/21/2012
That was awesome. Wolf: I think it was horrible. KF: Quiet! Wolf:...-What the heck face- Alex: What he said. KF: Stand over there you crazy wolf person. Alex: . . .*Walks away with offended face* Fox: *Giggles* KF: You're next. Fox: *Gulps*
Anyways! Awesome. Wait a minute,I just said that. I can't figure out another word to describe this story. Wolf: *Walks across the screen* B'cuz you're a one word person. Alex: *Facepalms* KF: *Shows fist* Shut... UP and get out of my face.
Fox: *Sighs in annoyance*
| Moon clone chapter 16 . 9/27/2009
So I guess it's finished then. 16 full chapters, and now a new story is coming up :3
Saw quite a lot of errors in the preview though, so you should re-check it "
| Moon clone chapter 15 . 9/25/2009
No no, this chapter is great! I wonder what happened to Nick after all... I mean, normally he should have gotten infected, right? I hope the virus doesn't spread, or they'll be more trouble... Is the next chapter the last? This story has gone quite a long way since it started
Just noticed a few redundancies like "I found clips where I found the rifle." (you repeat the word to soon or something like ;p) but otherwise I think it's good. And your grammar improved now it's very cool to read!
Until next chapter!
| Moon clone chapter 14 . 9/24/2009
Is that a bit of romance I see? ;p
Anyway, it seems Nick has died too... When will they stop dying? D: And Jake is next... Ouch...
I'm sorry if I haven't reviewed in a while, but... School...
Hey, waiting for next chapter nonetheless :D
| bryan mccloud chapter 14 . 9/20/2009
nice chapter. continue to write..._
btw is there a sequel where leon powalski is going to show up?
| Moon clone chapter 13 . 9/12/2009
It's obvious you've inspired yourself from zombie games :p
But it's really good work. Just some parts of the dialogue(s) where you forgot to put commas, or misspelled/forgotten words... I could point out all the mistakes to you, but right now I'm getting snowed under homework and school (which is also the reason I took so much time reviewing... Sorry...)
Wow, Jake sure isn't acting nicely! And there are so many deaths... I hope things work out... And that Wolf or Alex don't die!
Next chapter soon please :)
| bryan mccloud chapter 13 . 9/11/2009
update update i like ur trilogy stories.
| Moon clone chapter 12 . 8/31/2009
It's the calm before the storm, it seems. So basically they have five chances between all of them, and if they split up then they'll have even less, so the smallest scratch is fatal. I'm pretty sure at least another one of them will die... Anyways, it's nice to know the story doesn't end here! The only thing that sounds a bit cliche is the auto-destruct command thing, because honestly it sounds crazy that anyone would build anything like that. Then again, crazy mutant viruses can happen, so it could be justified...
Only thing you need with the grammar is to add a few more commas. Don't the characters pause for breath during a sentence? Oh, and you forgot 'you' in "what do (you) think" (Jason, 8th line). All in all, good job!
Waiting for next chapter, but please don't rush yourself!
| Moon clone chapter 11 . 8/29/2009
Somehow this chapter kind of reminded me of a zombie game I played once... Never mind though, it's still good in a sad way... Why did Mike have to die? Only bad points here is a few verbs not in the correct form, and you could have added a bit more to the inner conflict of killing or not Mike (tell us character emotions?), but otherwise you covered it up pretty well.
If you feel the story is becoming sloppy, take a break. Don't try to rush it! However, I'm expecting the next chapter soon :p keep it up!
| Moon clone chapter 10 . 8/10/2009
Really nice chapter! I liked how you created or showed bonds between characters, though it did feel a bit cliche the whole "I love you, I was scared you hate me, oh you kept that thing all the time!" Anyway, I'm still curious about how the whole thing is gonna turn out. Who exactly is Jake anyway? Heh, can't wait for more, but I'm leaving tomorrow, so see you in September! And hopefully, with the next chapter!
| Moon clone chapter 9 . 7/27/2009
Yep, I like it! The part where the Stinger was almost invunerable except for it's belly is slightly cliche, but putting the bomb in there was nice. And how come it's still alive after getting bombed from the inside anyway? That's really mean of you to stop just at the point where Jake might get killed!
Now for this chapter, apart from ONE mistake I saw ("nod" instead of "no), and a few un-capitalized dialogues, it was perfect. I'm really glad you improved, because sometimes it ruined the story when you misspelled a word. Also, you're definitively improving with the story-telling in general, and the plot is great right now. I'm surprised and sad you don't get more readers.
| Moon clone chapter 8 . 7/20/2009
You just had to stop the chapter at that point! I so want to see what will come after! I hope none of them will get infected, since I don't think they would willingly shoot one or their own. I noticed a few small errors like "hostel" which is written "hostile" in that context, but you've definitively improved a lot. Really good work. Waiting for next chapter!
| Moon clone chapter 7 . 7/9/2009
Don't worry, you managed to explain more or less where the virus came from at least :) the chapter felt a bit hazy at some points, but otherwise I think it was fine. Noticed a few sentences were you forgot small words though, but it's still a great improvement from your other stories. Keep on writing!
| Moon clone chapter 6 . 6/27/2009
Nice new chapter! It was a long time since you updated it, and it's a shame since the story is starting to get good now! It's really nice there aren't any spelling errors anymore, and now the whole thing is smoother and just makes me want to read more. Write the next chapter soon! And don't stop!
| Moon clone chapter 5 . 6/14/2009
So sorry if I didn't review sooner! I really regret it, since this chapter was really good! Just two things: you spelt "definitively" wrong, and I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not, but at the end you put caps on "Killed" and "Brother".
This story is getting intriguing by the minute! Somehow it reminds me left4dead, but then again, almost any zombie story does. The plot is plausible, no spelling mistakes, new characters and adventures, what can I wish for more? Quite simple: next chapter out soon please! And have a nice vacation!