|Reviews for Whirlwind Chronicles|
| Lightsnake chapter 2 . 10/24/2009
Nice work with this chapter, hope to see more with Kumo expanded upon. Nice nod to Hinata's childhood there, too. The fight with Gaara was well done-especially Deidara's internal monologue. Not much else to say there...keep up the good work.
| T-Biggz chapter 2 . 10/24/2009
Plz don't let Shukaku get extracted, I wanna see him suffer and go Fuckin NUTZ! XD
| Rose Tiger chapter 2 . 10/24/2009
I love the naruhina moment. Not much, but cute. Please keep going.
| Malix2 chapter 2 . 10/24/2009
Great new chapter, keep up the awesome work. :)
| The Hunter of Artemis chapter 2 . 10/24/2009
| JAIMOL chapter 2 . 10/24/2009
A change in the story that I liked it. Let's see how the emergence takes Naruto Akatsuki.
| Dust-in chapter 1 . 6/30/2009
Hey I like where this is going so you update and I'll R&R.
| The Gandhara chapter 1 . 6/24/2009
It's a very decent beginning, but I see two details that could be improved, in my opinion.
First, give a good reason for Hinata to be in Naruto's team. The Hokage wouldn't transfer her, breaking Kurenai's old team, just because Kakashi asked.
Second, change the ending to the new bell test. If they defeat Kakashi exactly the same way the did in the original, when Hinata wasn't there to help them, then her pressence and apportations become shallow.
| JC chapter 1 . 5/19/2009
Good to known.
This a Great start.
I hope you will Update Bending the Jutsu soon.
| readingandrelaxing chapter 1 . 5/16/2009
BOTH; HURRY UP WIT THA NEXT CHAP THIS STORY IS AWSOME
| SheLovesWhatSheWants chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
So far, it's a pretty good intro, for it capture's the reader's interest. You keep in line with the canon world, while giving it some new ideas at the same time. The ideas you write for the canon universe haven't gone out of bounds, and you want to explore more with the characters. I'm curious to see how Team 7 will act in future chapters with Hinata on their group, and I hope you explore more into Hinata's qualities. Plus, giving each team their own story arc to focus on them is a magnificent idea, because character development is something we've been lacking in the Naruto world lately.
However, some of your spelling needs to be fixed, but it's nothing big. Also, I'm on par with FictionReader98 about Hinata's acceptance. You need to explain it a bit more, just so we can get a clear understanding. And keep writing! :)
| Sima Yi chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
An impresive story keep that up.
| Lawlizilla chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
Great story i cant wait for the next chapter!
Just an innocent question:
When are you writing the sequel for Bending the Jutsu?
| Gravity The Wizard chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
| FictionReader98 chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
Well, this is a surprise story. I'm curious just how this story will go along. I'm assuming when you say "Shippuuden'd be like our way", you're going to make more changes to the story line than just add an extra character and what not: new characters, new story arcs, perhaps a new plotline or two. If that is the case, this should be quite exciting!
In the same regard, your summary states Ino's with an OC. I wonder who this character is and when we'll see him.
As for the chapter itself, I found it quite enjoyable. While a good portion of it was the same as canon, you still had your own twists and such to keep it interesting at the same time, so kudos to you! The opening scene with the Hyuuga cousins was good as well and Neji's line about going on a mission makes me wonder how that's going to affect things. If he and his team are leaving already, I doubt they'll be able to back up Team 7 in the Wind Country, considering how soon things are about to heat up. Does this mean another team will be sent in their stead? That would certainly be a very interesting change!
On a side note: I figured the Juho Soshiken was a technique that Hinata created on her own and not part of the standard Hyuuga moves, but it's all good.
The bell test was enjoyable as well, specifically seeing Naruto's use of that chain weapon. Great job on it. It makes me curious how else his training is different from that as canon, as well as the other characters (Sakura, Hinata, and so on) from their canon counterparts. Hopefully we'll find out with Hinata and Sakura soon enough. I did think that Kakashi could had preformed better, but it was more to show Naruto (and to an extent Sakura and Hinata) growth more than an actual fight, so it's okay.
The only real problem I had with the chapter was just how casual Hinata was mentioned filling in on Team 7. Not that I have anything against it, just fill it should had been touched on more than just a simple sentence. I mean... was this planned or something? Did Hinata and Team 8 know about this in advance or something? Just why is Hinata choosen to fill the empty slot? Did she volunteer to do so (heck, was she the one to suggest it in the first place?) Or was it Tsunade's idea? Or even Kakashi's? Maybe he wanted a "live action" of IchaIcha, with Naruto having to to struggle with choosing between two girls as a side show drama for the Copy Ninja's own amusement? I could go on and on with possibilities about how this happened, but the point is that I believe it's something that should had been covered. At the very least, each of the character's reactions should had been mentioned, Naruto's espeically.
So Sasori and Deidara are on the move and you got their personalities spot on. Nothing noteworthy about the scene either way. I look forward to what happens next in the upcoming fight.
Superb opening chapter and I eagerly await the next one, though truth be told, I'm probably more eager for Into the Inferior. Well, whichever comes nexts will do. Best of luck!