Reviews for The Yeerk's mistake
The QAS chapter 1 . 1/23/2010
Nice!
Sunflower shine chapter 4 . 5/24/2009
AW! That must be an emotional moment for Jake!
VisserZer0 chapter 4 . 5/23/2009
Well done! Your grammar has certainly improved on Ch. 3 and 4. There were some mistakes but nothing too bad. You should still go over it, though. This is much easier to read and much more enjoyable now.

VisserZer0 out
Masterweaver chapter 4 . 4/12/2009
I'm not going to lie: The grammar is AWFUL. And believe me when I say that grammar makes a story. Go through and mop that up.

The story itself was good. A little bit rushed, true, but as a short story it was very sweet and it worked. Jake and Erek seemed slightly out of character, but only in the last chapter, so I'm wiling to pass it over as a story necessity.
OnlyANorthernSong chapter 3 . 4/10/2009
This is great! Please, PLEASE update soon!
VisserZer0 chapter 2 . 4/10/2009
Instead of 4: July, don't you mean the 4th of July or Fourth of July? Also, you said the tiger are dead. It's not plural, so it would be the tiger is dead. You have a lot of strange errors like this one in your story. The story is okay. I don't mean to sound like a jerk but you need to read over your work.

VisserZer0 out
VisserZer0 chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
This is good so far but you don't need to start a new paragraph for every line. "I did hope you just joked". That really bothered me. It was worded very strangely, making Jake sound a little OOC. I suggest "I hope you are just joking".

Anyways, you've got me interested in your story. Off I am to continue reading. Also, work on chapter length. That was pretty short.

VisserZer0 out