Reviews for The Cullen Family Players Present
AzureEyedI chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
Funny. As. Hell.

Glitter! Sparkling!

I f**ig LOVE this fanfic!
stilljustceci chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
Oh. My. GAH. This is hilarious. Did I mention this is one of my favorite movies ever? I have strange taste in movies, yes, but ah, I love you HARD for writing this.
adoraklutz chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
So my mom is in the next room. She thinks I'm in here making plots. I am not. I am using every ounce of self-control I have to not GUFFAW over this chapter, because, let's face it, plots are not funny, and she might catch on.

This is completely hilarious, thank you so much for writing it. I could kind of quote every line back to you as a favorite, but I'll stick with my top few. Unless stated otherwise, you can generally assume my comment is something along the lines of "LOL" or "HAHAHAHA" ok? Cool. )

go home with someone who looks or smells good (ideally both)

The elevator, unlike Generic Gray Suit Guy’s lady companions, comes.

(I already told you I loved this, but I figure a little repetition can't hurt.)

He’s read Lord of the Flies. He knows how these things end.

He wishes the holy dude would just get off his high camel and answer his fan letters one of these days.

Jasper thinks it’s odd that Edward seems to sparkle in the sunlight, but he figures Edward’s a bit of a fruit who likes body glitter quite a bit more than a twelve-year-old girl.

(Oh, wow, I spent like $60 at Sephora trying to get sparkle like that. What is that, Urban Decay?)

“No! I said, um, ‘SHOOT the hostage.’ Shoot. Because biting? That’s silly. Who would say ‘bite’? A vampire? Ha, ha. Nope, no vampires here. Ha. Ahem.” He looks around shiftily, hoping Jasper is buying it.

Edward can also read minds. Sometimes. When it’s convenient for this story’s plot.

He takes a step every time ponytailed guy does, like a tango, only with extra-manly accessories like guns and dynamite.

“Um, Jasper. Um. I may have accidentally turned you into a vampire.”
shalu chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
“What, you going to bite me too? What are you, five years old?”

...I LOFF YOU SO MUCH!
MaleficentKnits chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
Bwa ha ha ha! Feisty you have certainly made the start of my weekend a winner! Yay!
Knitasaur chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
Epic. Awesome. and Amusing.

I like, I like :)
betheany chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
I'm still laughing and I suck at reviews. You're amazing. What I wouldn't give to be able to crawl around in your head for a day.
dihenydd chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
Feisty, I have just had to pick myself up from the floor for the fifteenth time, having fallen off laughing again. This just cracked me up.

Srsly? "Jasper thinks it’s odd that Edward seems to sparkle in the sunlight, but he figures Edward’s a bit of a fruit who likes body glitter quite a bit more than a twelve-year-old girl. But the dude is good at his job, so Jasper lets the glitter slide. Live and let live." I am still giggling now.

Every line is a gem. You are a gem. You and your cute Robicorn.

Thank you for brightening up my day, I'm off to snigger a bit more now.
TwirlGrrl chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
"“Easy,” says Edward. “Bite the hostage.”"

B H A!

"Edward can also read minds. Sometimes. When it’s convenient for this story’s plot.

Was that not mentioned before either?

No, not all vampires can do that. No, shut up, he just can. Do you want me to finish or not?"

BW A!

"Edward looks at him blankly. As stated, the guy’s got a lot of dynamite strapped to his chest. He also seems to have a detonating device in his hand. Edward opens and closes his mouth a few times like a fish."

ZOMG! HA!

Oh geez, I could go on. Jasper's reaction "you BIT me?" and Edward telling Jasper at the end.

BB, you SLAY me. I want to live in your head. I SO want to live in your head. I'd be happy all the friggin' time.

Th
iusedtoknit chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
"Edward can also read minds. Sometimes. When it’s convenient for this story’s plot. . ." You are making shit up as you go for this one. I kind of like it here. Others have tried it with unfunny results.

Sucks to your asmar, Piggy.
CarminMoon chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
ROFLCOPTER! I love this.

WWtDLD? you. keel. me.
killerlashes chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

That is all.

NEXT!
Betham chapter 1 . 4/9/2009
Oh. My. God. I would love to spend just one afternoon in your brain. This is freakin' hilarious. Shut up. It just is. And for some reason, this part:

“Anything else that might stop this elevator from falling?”

“The basement,” says Edward. He kind of takes everything literally.

made me laugh loud enough to wake up the cat and earned me a nasty glare from her.

Can't wait for the next chapter!
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