Reviews for Solo Performance
DoomKnight1of24 chapter 1 . 4/9/2015
Alright, I liked it. I personally prefer the alternative Sun Social Link, for a variety of reasons, but you know, different strokes for different folks and all that.
And that is not, of course, meant to detract from the story in any way. It's a good story, and it feels like something that could have happened in the game - especially seeing as you kept Souji's character pretty vague, still making him the nebulous "Protagonist" that we're meant to project ourselves on. Nice job there.
Ayane's characterization is pretty spot on, by the way. At least in my humble opinion. Once you bring up her Social Link Rank enough, she actually becomes pretty direct and honest about her feelings, more so than most of the other prospective love interests.
And the symbolism on her Shadow seems fitting, too. It's actually a lot less far-fetching than some of the actual in-game bosses...
Oh, and if you ever decide to come back to this (yes, I realize this was published like six years ago, but let me dream), I personally would be very interested in perhaps seeing Ayane's dungeon from the IT's perspective: you know, the regular corridor layout, mini bosses, interactions with Shadow Ayane, her thoughts in the beginning of each floor, those kinda shenanigans.
Just a thought.
MikazuchiStrike55 chapter 1 . 8/5/2013
This was a really good story. I like it *2 thumbs up*. Also why don't people like Ayane/Souji I think it's pretty adorable and I like Ayane. She just seems to be such a sweet girl.
Shinigami Miroku chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
Excellent piece. SouAya is my favorite pairing in P4 (behind that being Priestess and Moon), mainly because I can sympathize with Ayane about not voicing my thoughts because I always think they'll be ignored or I'll offend someone. Thank you.
HarryPotter'sgirl17 chapter 1 . 8/26/2010
Heehee, I loved the way you ended it; I always wondered why it was that other people could never hear that voice intoning that the Main Character had maxed out a Social Link.

Loved the way you wrote this and pictured Ayane's Persona as well. Very cool!
Chiyo And Osaka Fan chapter 1 . 8/20/2010
Thank you so much I have wanted an Ayane fic for so long I mean how can you not love her? You have also given me an idea for a fic so thank you for that and I hope to see more Ayane fics from you!
Rayless Night chapter 1 . 12/9/2009
Nice work, I liked this. Have to say, if I don't put Souji with Rise or Yukiko, I like him with Ayane. There's a lot to her personality, and she's more likable than Yumi or Ai. Plus, the scene where they practice in the rain is awesome.

I like what you've done here, tapping into Ayane's fears and doubts, also her devotion to her senpai. Great how she (like Kanji of all people) actually hits her Shadow. It's cute, but it clearly shows her breaking point, so adds some more depth to her personality.

The Shadow and its dungeon are really well done, very in-line with the game - I like the Shadow's blared delivery, its violence (appropriately ironic for Ayane), its attention- seeking. Also its evolution into Pagliacci, and how it physically resembles Ayane. Having a support Persona seems right for her.

(Pity there's no way we could've seen her appear on the Midnight Channel. Would've been, um, interesting.)

The final scene is very very fluffy, but after all the angst, I think it hits a good note. I also like the Omake, a small wrecking ball to the fourth wall there.

As for crits:

The mechanics are generally good, though there are some typos/capitalization errors. Sometimes the prose feels too wordy, though it doesn't stop the story from coming across. Also, the "(Days Later)" was a bit jarring - maybe just a line to separate the scenes instead?

And a continuity thing, but was Takeshi the guy from Ayane's Link? I thought Takeshi was in Chie's, and the band guy was Takeru or something. Could be wrong though.

end crit

Overall, really good fic. I like that you had one of the npcs step up to her Shadow, especially one as underepresented as Ayane. In all, it played out very believably, and very true to the game.
Vegeta the 3rd chapter 1 . 8/31/2009
That was actually pretty sweet. I love the description of the shadow, the world, and all of Ayane's conflicts. The Support Persona idea sounds cool too. Perhaps you could try other one shots based around this idea? Like Naoki?

Really good story, I say. Congrats on expanding on a not-so-viewed pairing with a unique perspective.

-Vegeta the 3rd
Readasaur chapter 1 . 6/9/2009
It's true, I'm not nuts about this pairing.

But frankly, this story is just too well thought out, too detailed, too well characterized, too well written for that to bother me for a second.

This is EXACTLY the sort of thing I've been looking for.

Thank you so very much.

Could you be coaxed into doing a small series about a few more of his Social Connections?
Goldamon X chapter 1 . 5/11/2009
...I'd like to see more of stuff like this...
Blu Rose chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Aw, I'm upset about accidentally choosing Ayane to be a friend instead of a girlfriend! I really do like the shy girl characters... It's why I wanted to get Fuuka and Chihiro in P3 and why I initially wanted Yukiko for a link (before she went and changed on me...). Anyway, this is an awesome fic! I hope you can do another one like this for another character soon! Would it be to much to pray for Ai or Kou?
Skarrow chapter 1 . 4/19/2009
Wow! Nice touch. With this, Ayane could seriously be a Persona user... heheh, you did this story so well, one of my friends actually BELIEVED that Ayane might go through all that in the actual game. And I smacked him for thinking so.

But you know what that means. Your idea is pure genius. Keep it up!
Lineara1509 chapter 1 . 4/15/2009
This was a very cute story. Lol.
Ryoga's best friend chapter 1 . 4/10/2009
Very nice

Ayane is a very sweet character and it's nice to see her showing up in a story much less one totally centered around her. I myself have debated on more social link character focused stories and I can not think of one that would work any better for Ayane. You captured her issues well with an interesting style to her shadow and dungeon.

side note- LOVED the omake. Nice touch.