|Reviews for Stars|
| Wafflesz chapter 1 . 4/15/2009
Not too shabby, unnecessary grammer (or typos, whichever one it is) mistakes here and there kinda take away the smooth flow this story should have. Especially since it's so short. Wasn't a big fan of the way you described some (key word being "some") of Eriol's actions. It was either completely unnecessary, seemed to lack passion (not the character, your writing), or wasn't descriptive and vivid enough. Even if Eriol is depressed and lonely, there are plenty of adjectives and emotions you could have explored that would've made this a 5 star one-shot.
I'd love to give you the benefit of the doubt and read more of your writing in the future. Keep it up!
| Convoy Butterfly chapter 1 . 4/13/2009
Very OOC for Eriol. Clow knew about letting go of loved ones when it was time (he even DIED because of that, and Eriol doesn't use his new life to rejoin Clow's old companions), and he doesn't seem the type to wangst about how the one he loves left him, not when his Guardians, the "ones who complete him" are still with him. Even if he doesn't stop and think for a second that just maybe this is his karmic punishment for leaving AT LEAST two people who loved him out in the cold.
And I really hope that "leaving for England" doesn't refer to when he left right after his final challenge to Sakura, because that would make no sense. Not just because it's established that he wasn't in love with Tomoyo, much less in a relationship with her (he loved KAHO the whole time, and was about to start a relationship with her), but because the clear reason he left was that his job in Tomoeda was over, and now that Sakura had come into her full power and he had given half his power to Fujitaka, he had no reason to stay. Even if you must give Eriol a ton of OOC romantic wangst, please refrain from making that wangst take over his canon, non-angsty actions.