|Reviews for Teh Soopr Gost Gurl|
| Jfmam chapter 13 . 4/12
To Lady Valiant:
This has been a very entertaining story. The mix of fanfic, character reactions, and even reader reviews has made (for me) an unprecedented example of fanfic parody. If I were to make one criticism, I would say that the characters occasionally react too often, or too violently. Then again, I'm not the one going through this.
I understand that as a professional writer, stories like this are not your priority, and seeing as it's over four years since the last chapter, the chances of you returning to this is slim. But if you read this, it's always sad when an entertaining story is left uncompleted, so please, if you can, find some time to continue this story!
A couple of notes. Spell check is always useful, even for a good writer. Anyone can occasionally make a mistake, so please, just use it once and see whether it helps.
I feel that your story is wandering a bit at the moment. It just seems a bit too episodic and repetitive. So Vlad is trying attack Danny and Isabella; try to focus on this more. If you can get the plot moving, I'm sure things will improve greatly.
Please, take this advice to heart. It would have been a lot easier to simply flame you, but I've decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. It would be a shame if you didn't, as I'm sure that with a bit of work, you could turn this around and write a decent, if not great story.
| Ruby Dear chapter 7 . 4/9
This is hilarious! Though by the end I think I'll be needing therapy... I thought My Immortal was terrible...
Damn my morbid curiosity.
| Grammar chapter 7 . 2/3
I don't mean to sound like a slut, but please feel free to start using me at any time.
| Guest chapter 10 . 11/12/2014
Imagining the scene with skulker in the drug store is hilarious to me for some reason.
| Guest chapter 2 . 11/11/2014
Please kill me now so I can stop reading! Why can't I stop reading this? Seriously?
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/11/2014
I can't stop reading this even while I'm slightly horrified already. CURSE YOU MARY SUE!
| Faliara chapter 13 . 5/4/2014
To Lady Valiant:
No other words.
I absolutely love how you wrote this- all the hacks, all the 'crap I'm agreeing with my enemies' and just- just gold. Gold.
Why no continue? :c
By the way, before you ask about what will be my review to the Mary Sue authors, I'll just tell you that I'm writing it because while everyone is flaming them, at least SOMEONE should try banging some sense through voice of reason. Even though it most likely won't work. _
I'm sorry if you're insulted by this, or anything like that, but it needs to be said;
I just don't think your story's going to work out all that well.
I saw the reviewers; They don't really enjoy your story. Maybe there's follows, maybe there's favs, but I'm pretty sure the majority of the followers are your regular flamers and the minorites- along with those who faved this- are those who have similar stories like yours.
It's just- just check the facts. Please.
Check your grammar. Go to the archives, select the 'Favourites' category, and check the grammar of the stories at the top. Some of the words, I couldn't even understand. I'm not sure why I kept reading this- maybe it's because I was hoping for improvements, I dunno- but after reading the entire thing, I can honestly say that this won't work. Not at all.
There's no such thing as 'the best writer'. If there was, and you were it, then this story would be at the top right now. Open your eyes; everyone rises and everyone falls. Like life.
You need to re-check your OCs- an OC is an Original Character, which means a character not actually from the fandom. Please, don't tell me 'oh, but Isabella and Elizabeth are from the fandom!'- they aren't, because they never appeared in the actual show, and were never mentioned. And Butch Hartman, the owner of the Danny Phantom series, sure as hell never said anything about them.
(No, you do NOT own the Danny Phantom series. If you start claiming you do, you'll tick off a lot- and I mean a LOT- of people. And possibly getting Butch Hartman himself suing you for abusing the copyright laws.)
Your OCs are being- just too Mary Sue-ish. I'm sorry if you didn't notice, but- people tend to not like Mary Sues. She's just too... Overpowered, too... Unlikeable. Some people actually manage to make people love OCs. An example is Powerless Guardian. If you watched Rise of The Guardians, go read it. They may not have powers, but they sure as hell get the plot to go on in the most awesome way. The most popular OC from the Powerless Guardians gang is Cody. Everyone. Loves. Cody.
Ahem. Getting off topic.
Maybe you could've gotten people to like this story despite the Danny/OC pairing. It's possible, no matter how many prefer Danny/Sam over any other pairing any day. I'm actuallu among those people, but even if you didn't make it that pairing it was still possible to get your flamers to like Isabella and Elizabeth.
If only you didn't just write it like THAT.
To get your OCs at least tolerated, you have to start them off simple. Maybe they're just the typical loner, or the typical jock, or a normal friendly boy making friends with you. It starts off slowly. Don't pull things into a rush, don't make it first love off the bat. Show off bits and pieces and let certain quirks about them be found. Worm them into people's hearts little by little, until that point people find themselves absolutely taken by them.
That's how you get OCs liked.
And one last point I'd like to make on your story-
The characters are too OOC.
OOC stands for Out Of Character. That means they're not acting like how they're supposed to act. For one thing- maybe Danny could have gotten distracted. I admit, that's actually possible. But that is NOT enough for the Box Ghost to defeat Danny Phantom.
It would've actually turned out like this;
*Beautiful girl with super powers comes out of nowhere*
Danny: Huh? What the- *gets hit by box*
But even then, that's not enough to bring Danny down;
Box Ghost: BEWARE! For I have hit you in the head with a box! BEWARE! (or something along those lines*
Danny: *gets ticked off* *blasts Box Ghost with ectoplasm energy ball and sucks into thermos*
Maybe he could've actually gained a crush on her. He's a teenage boy, that's really possible.
Sam, as Penelope Spectra?
That's so impossible I'm not even sure whether to laugh hysterically or vomit right here.
Just- just no.
Please, work on your characterization first before you decide to right any fanfic at all.
All in all, maybe you could become a better author. Just maybe. But if you refuse to take this advice to heart, or any other advice about your... Writing skills, for that matter, I'm not sure if you ever will.
I just hope it's possible.
If you don't take these words to heart, though, then I'd like you to have this. Take it. It's a present from me in hopes you will, one day.
To Lady Valiant;
The present is a Portkey.
To the insane asylum.
Even better, the Portkey is also a very realistic-looking toy gun which is actually harmless and completely devoid of bullets so she can't shoot her way out. I'm willing to bet a lot of people would vouch for her to stay there. And if she doesn't take those words to heart (I'm willing to bet she doesn't) I'm pretty sure I agree with them.
I'm actually serious about the fact that it's possible to have Danny/OC.
I still prefer Danny/Sam though.
AMETHYST OCEAN FTW!
| Esoulix'Anne-Louise chapter 4 . 2/5/2014
Heheh... You're bringing Smexy back.
Terrible joke aside, I find this refreshing and amusing compared to the usual dark and jaded DP fics I've been reading lately.
You demon spawn eating, peanut butter pooping, perverted mind molester, should go flying down the (bunch of things I don't want to publish on the internet) and be castrated with a spork until you scream UnSueish profanities to the one you 'love' 'so dearly', and admit-finally ADMIT you are the scum of the writers realm here on the internet. (Wow.)
To Lady Valiant:
Sorry, Sue's and people who make Sues are so...insulting. Not only to my writer pride-not that I'm much of a writer anyways, but to WRITERS EVERYWHERE AND ALL THE FANON OUT THERE. There very existence makes my blood boil because they give us a horrible name. Also I hate arrogance. And ignorance. And refusal to admit your wrong. Smexy (Grimaces, I don't really want to call her Smexy. Does she even know what Smexy means?) is probably all that I hate about Fandoms and Shippers. You, who openly mocks people like that, are probably a small thing what I like about F&S's, along with the little gems out there that are wonderfully written, meticulously plotted, and at a mouthwatering length. (No, I don't actually salivate when I see a really long fic. Myths! Myths I tell you!)
| NinjaQueen99 chapter 7 . 12/18/2013
That sue is an insult to all Elizabeths in the world. I had to say this partially because my name IS Elizabeth, and I'm definitely not a sue.
That aside, I love this story. I'm really looking forward to reading the next chapter. :)
| TheNinjaKitty13 chapter 3 . 12/17/2013
I am reading this story while trying really hard not to laugh so loud that I wake up everyone in the house! I love this story!
P.S. Elizabeth Swan is an insult to all the Elizabeths in the world.
| Apoapsis chapter 4 . 10/1/2013
Gohnnuh cagth um all cuhz hes Danny Pantson!
| Aquiescence chapter 1 . 9/28/2013
Smexy e[picaslgt aaqesome fficn i lurved it and ur so h horyt im shiwhs to be u 1!111!
Real Review - oh gods, I choked on my laughter. The thing was so grammatically incorrect I was dying!
| martian-general-bookworm chapter 1 . 9/5/2013
"fertile eyelashes" *snerk* you just made my day
| T. Alana M chapter 13 . 6/20/2013
Comedy GOLD! XD Smexy should find some itty bitty hole in the bottom of the ocean, crawl in it, and die. When are you going to update this? :D It's been three years
| Lorrie-the-bookworm chapter 12 . 4/15/2013
I meant better than you. Oh Smexy you ruined my brain! I SHALL DESTROY YOU AND YOUR LITTLE FRIEND! *Says in grudge voice while looking like the Grudge* Hahahahaha...I am not joking, I am going to track you down Smexy and kawaiicherryluvsedward, and kendo your bleep to the Dark Lord. So he can deal with two dumb girls. Poor computer.
I shall do it, with the help of my blowtorch, my friends, and a wand with a portkey. You are probably too dumb to be able to read the Harry Potter Series.
To the real real author, Lady-Vailant. Please update. And your story that Smexy wrote has damaged my computer. :(