Reviews for Rachel's abandonment
Aimee Danielle chapter 2 . 12/11/2014
Omg I love this story soooooooooooooooo much! Pleeeeaaaassssseeeeeee update soon! Aimee xx
AimeeDanielle97 chapter 2 . 11/25/2014
Omg please update soon! I haven't been able to put this story down! I'm really keen to read on! Greeneday all the way and I love stories about dr corday and rachael ! Thank you so much ! Aimée xx
Bommiej chapter 2 . 10/5/2013
Wow great story! I really love the 2 perspectives.
Please keep on writing I really want to know how things will work out and how the other people at county will react to the pregnacy & the fact Rachel is back!
Jedi Jessic chapter 3 . 8/6/2013
Kind of forgotten this story but i would like a new chapter.
Marielyfan chapter 2 . 8/4/2013
It would really be awesome if you finished it! I know it's from 2010 but still...
Boris Yeltsin chapter 2 . 8/13/2011
Wow.
Boris Yeltsin chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
Keep it up.
SennaFan4ever chapter 3 . 8/9/2010
Hi. You need to delete this chapter. The story will be deleted if you don't. FFnet doesn't like chapters like this. You should have just updated the story with the chapter itself. I can't wait to read more and it's awesome so far!

God bless
j0k3 chapter 3 . 8/8/2010
AU is AU as you said. I change enough things as well in my fictions. Just continue with what you started, and don't worry about others. Originality trumps errors. That being said, I hope you write A LOT MORE very soon.

xxx Joke
Critic chapter 1 . 5/2/2010
That was so bad. I can see you do not watch the show often. That was way out me character. I am actually offended. And it is not green it is greene
Guest chapter 1 . 10/4/2009
ok, there may be some mistakes in this (in what fic aren't?), but at least its original and not one of those dr A dr B have a one night stand, get pregnant with twins and get married and live happily ever afer fics you can find a lot on this site. I know nothing aboout chicago so that didn;t bother me and the originality more than makes up for the bad points. I love this, please continue
NaomiP chapter 2 . 6/28/2009
This fic continues to be beyond ludicrous. Tons of spelling and grammar errors. (Learn the difference between your and you're.) Tons of canon and continuity errors. (Rachel's mother's name is JEN, not Mary. Her last name is spelled Greene, and Lizzie never took Mark's last name ... so HER last name is Corday, NOT Corday-Green(e).)

And... as for story practicalities ... Lizzie appearntly lives less than 2 minutes from the airport (in rush hour traffic), is able to book a flight in 12 seconds while talking to Rachel on the phone, and jumps directly onto the plane from her car. And movers in St. Louis are so lightly booked that you don't have to make arrangements several weeks/months in advance. (For that matter, why hire a mover and van to move ONE room with of stuff. Why not just hire a u-haul? There is already furniture at the house in Chicago, so why move the furniute at all. Why not just back her boxes? (Which she probably doesn't have in abundance. People who move often don't tend to accumlate lots of 'stuff.')

And high school boys giving drugs to 10 ... or year olds? (You will recall that the 'ecstasy' storyline happened in January - Rachel's birthday is in February, and Mark died in May.) In what is almost certainly a high end private school in Chicago? (If they live 2 minutes from Midway, (the only airport where Lizzie would likely get a 'local' flight to St. Louis) she isn't going to be going to public school.) Why? Story conveniece? If you're going to change EVERYTHING else about the fictional universe, why not change that too? And ANOTHER high end private school (that starts classes at 7 a.m. and has school busses?) is able to take her on immediately?

And yes, this is well beyond 'AU.' Nobody is in character. Nothing makes sense. Mark would have been in contact with Jen/Mary often over the last couple of years (they share custody of their young daughter) and SURELY would have noticed that Jen had become certifiably insane, and had ceased to take care of Rachel in any but the most basic fashion.

And... you will recall too that Lizzie moved out the house after she and Mark fought over the Rachel and the pills. She didn't get back together until Mark was already terminal. (And probably unable to very actively participate in baby-making activities ... and likely sterile from the chemo. So how, exactly, and WHEN exactly, did Lizzie get pregnant? And why would they have started to try, knowing that Mark was terminal? [Here you have Lizzie wondering how she's going to 'do this alone.'] And... why didn't Lizie just do a home pregnancy test? And no way is Susan going to be her OB ... she isn't qualified.

As for basic story stucture ... the constant switches in POV, the repeating events described from both POVs, the excuciativly detailed descritipons of completely unimportant events (taking showers, watching tv, getting into an out of the car...

There is much MUCH more with this story, but I'll leave it at that.

PLEASE scrap this and ... if you must use this plot, take some time to figure a way of making it actually make snse, and be remotely consistant with the ER universe.
j0k3 chapter 2 . 6/23/2009
love this!
Marla Gilmore chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Ok I thought that it was a good first chapter! Can't wait for the next one.
NaomiP chapter 1 . 4/21/2009
Changing things 'because you can' is one thing. Changing things for no reason whatsoever - and making people behave in ludicrous ways for the sake of story convenience is quite another.

We are really supposed to believe that Rachel's mother (whose name was VERY well established through the series as Jen, NOT 'Mary') moved out, put the house up for sale, emptied the fridge, and shut off all the utilities while her 11 year old daughter was at school one day? Hadn't anyone noticed that Jen had gone COMPLETELY off the deep end long before this? Why didn't anyone ... say ... call the police? Child abandonment IS, after all, rather illegal.

You might also work a bit on spelling and grammar, and on basic story structure.
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