|Reviews for Twilight of Dawn|
| Lifesjustalaugh chapter 3 . 8/5
Does Edward know about dragons and wizards to know about the dragon skin?
| Lifesjustalaugh chapter 2 . 8/5
Hey. So the plot is nice and you write fine. Just I don't really like how Harry seems...weird? It's just most teenage girls gossip and the reaction he had to it seemed really over the top..
| Galina chapter 15 . 3/20
| FaithTrustLove chapter 15 . 3/8
Al in all, you story is well-written, longer than most crosspver fics in this fandom as well as having a decent plotline at the beginning.
However, it seems that your later chapters don't fit with the earlier ones. There are things that just don't make sense such as the characters' behaviour. I mean, at first the Pack love the Cullens, they get along well enough. And then, suddenly, they all act murderous and threatening while Emmett and Rose just act completely insane. I don't think it makes sense and then Harry asks Edward out on a dat after the threats, arrogance and OOCness? It really messes up the plot which was really good until Jacob came into it.
Plus, you haven't really explored Harry and Edward'd relationship very well. There are brief allusions to their starting relationship but it doesn't add up and makes the reader feel as though they are missing something. Sometimes, you jump the gun and skip over some things that, while you may feel are unimpprtant, can contribute to the overall plotline and creates easier understanding.
Also the Pack's immortality and Teddy's age thing doesn't seem very well explained and just too unrealistic. Death is also a concept that you should explore more to give a deeper understanding for the readers.
I really liked the story until after Jake came and just wanted to give some constructive criticism. There are some tedious things to improve upon such as grammar but the major things are characterization and plotlines. I know many people have the excuse of the fanfic being of a fantasy genre and it being fanfiction, but I don't think that excuses it from needing to be more in character without reason. Please don't take this the wrong way; I just want to help my fellow wroters to improve. :)
| natasha.jones.1654 chapter 15 . 1/20
When are you adding more chapters?
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/2
Just wanted to let you know that the Ravenclaw symbol is an eagle. Great fic so far though.
| 23DrarryIsLove22 chapter 15 . 12/21/2015
Everything is too unrealistic.
Immortality, power ups, characters way too OOC.
It's almost like reading Naruto lol
Although even in Naruto you do end up buying all of that random ass pull situations. Kishi has his way of making you believe anything to everything.
I don't dislike your story but neither do I like it.
I'm following tho, want to know what happens next.
| 23DrarryIsLove22 chapter 14 . 12/21/2015
| 23DrarryIsLove22 chapter 5 . 12/21/2015
How did they get into the school? A large crowd of six that too? Where are the school authorities?
I'm a Harry fangirl. He's my favourite character. But honestly Harry is just too strong, too confident, too perfect in this story.
I still like it tho. I'm just giving you my opinion on your story.
| 23DrarryIsLove22 chapter 3 . 12/21/2015
Erm how does Ed know they are dragon hide boots? He doesn't know about wizards and other magical creatures. Unless of course you change it up in the coming chapters.
| ManyGamePlayer chapter 15 . 6/23/2015
I absolutely love what you are doing! This idea is great, and it was to my great pleasure that I read this! Hope to see more chapters soon! ;)
| Arcangelos chapter 2 . 5/21/2015
Ooooh! Go Harry!
| AkiraNatsume chapter 15 . 4/15/2015
So much drama. I love it, more chapters please.
| huy chapter 15 . 12/21/2014
Please don't just use twilight as a setting but put things together into an equally parallel storyline. Things have become confusing and the harry potter characters have become so ooc while the twilight haven't. Just make some more balance please. BTW, you're a great writer so please don't take offense. Thanks
| Guest chapter 15 . 12/21/2014
The story was going okay but later it just became outrages. You're a great writer, really. It's just that the latter parts of the story don't seem to jive with the previous chapters. In my personal view, could you tone down the godlike status of Harry and his gang? Try not to focus much on harry and just use the twilight part as setting and extra characters? Thanks. Anyway this is your story and I'm just a reader so it's your call in the end.