Reviews for The Woods are Lovely, Dark, and Deep
Adipocere chapter 6 . 5/6/2009
As always, flawless. Exquisite.
Adipocere chapter 5 . 5/6/2009
Oh, boy! Ecstatic! No longer must I wait in for approval limbo on one of my favorite writers! Oh, glee! Oh, bliss! My accolades as always, adding to favorites here as well. I'll be working my way through the additional chapters and let you know if I spot any errors! I doubt I'll find any though... *kiss*kiss*
dolphingirl79 chapter 7 . 5/6/2009
I like the revenge on Jessica that was freaking hilarious. keep up the great work.
Shamatt0403 chapter 7 . 5/6/2009
Okay - Is Bella paying to stay at this Inn? Does Jessica work at this Inn? Her ass would be fired in a minute and it would have been before she had a chance to spit on Bella's breakfast. The jealously card is one thing but Bella is paying client at that Inn and that really isn't realistic.
Kelley chapter 7 . 5/6/2009
Another brilliant chapter! You had my laughing hysterically with this one. How on Earth do you come up with this stuff and then write it all down so well at the same time? Boggles my mind. I bow before you in utter humility, particularly as one former English major and also former aspiring writer (I graduated MANY moons ago, and I'll never tell). Sorry I haven't reviewed in so long, but rest assured I am devoutly following this piece and continue to be in total awe of your work. This is by far my favorite Twlight fanfiction that I am following. Congratulations on yet another fine chapter. Oh! And Edward's initial reaction to the spittle on the omelet? Priceless. Knob kocking? HA! The hilarity in general was VERY well done. It's nice to read a piece where there is such an intense connection yet with some lightheard moments thrown in as well. I suspect these two will need a sense of humor to deal with the challenges they will be facing soon. Am I right? As always, thank you for your tremendous talent. It's a gift, truly.
allvampedup chapter 7 . 5/6/2009
Well, first and foremost, thanks for the food! "Attention turned to the food" so I was torn between embarrassment and shaking on the floor with laughter as I realised that I sound like I'm really fat and suffering from severe gluttony. I'm not - for the record - at least I hope not! To add to the food, I adore the little snippets about protein/fruit/veg counting. It's endearing in a kind of OCD way, but I do it myself so I see eye to eye with Bella there!

Me likey Edward in the shower *puddle of goo on the floor*. Nice description ;)

And the little Beatles reference? Nice. There's nothing quite like them.

You really did have me on the floor cradling a stitch from laughing too hard with your Michelangelo bit. Where do you get this stuff from? Regardless, it's gold.

On a more serious note, I thought the bit describing Bella's low self-esteem was very true and well done. You seem very eloquent in that way. The descriptions and detail are always intense and so cleverly done.

As ever, the running commentary was fabulous! It's witty and hilarious - just like Bella! I envy your humour.

And finally, the last little triumphant smirk from Bella to Jessica was a classic. Very satisfying ;) And 'Tits McGee'? Great name!

Brilliant as always (I should invest in a huge thesaurus because I seem to be running out of adjectives!)
giniawest chapter 7 . 5/6/2009
Holy crap, I spit my coffee all over my damn computer reading this! The shower scene had me blushing and scrambling for answers when my son asked "mommy is everything ok?" LOL

My favorite line was “Oh, she was knocking a knob, all right.”

Laugh out loud funny! This Bella is a little more, umm, tactful then I would have been, especially if some skank-whore spit in my food. UGH! hahaha Well done, I look forward to reading more!
VickyPollard chapter 7 . 5/6/2009
Love the "hooker in Berlin" line.

I'm going to take a guess at what Edward is: Tanya's unwilling sex slave, a jaded cop, a human with a supernatural power, a fugitive on the run, a justifiable murderer, a hit man who gained a conscience, a relative of a victim of murder, all of the above?... And as for Bella: I really have no clue. But I'm intrigued. Update soon :-) College is overrated.
VickyPollard chapter 5 . 5/6/2009
Damn... I need two hands to count the number of times I have hit stationary objects with my car. And no one is EVER cool about it, even when I apologize profusely. (And its not like I've been driving for decades, I'm 22). But I'm glad Angela is so much cooler than the people I encounter while driving.
VickyPollard chapter 2 . 5/6/2009
Haha, loving this story. Good blend of mystery/humor/romance. I was amazed when you mentioned the Overlook Hotel because that was exactly what I had pictured in the first chapter. So if it was your goal to make me think "the shining" in the first chapter, well done.
yum.frozen.grapes chapter 7 . 5/5/2009
This chapter was really funny! I like how Edward is more relaxed around Bella. Jessica spitting in Bella's food was to die for...I like that Edward feels comfortable enough with Bella to laugh at her. Looking foward to see what happens in PA. And I really hope Bella gets Jessicas skanky ass back soon!
sorcerergirl90 chapter 7 . 5/5/2009
i thought calling jessica tits mcgee was funny.
Emilie Fauve chapter 6 . 5/1/2009
Starting a chapter with a dream very "New Moon" of you! :) I once wrote an Arthurian legend for my Honors English class in 9th grade, and had a dream sequence in it. It wasn't subtle foreshadowing in the least, and failed miserably. But I think no one was expecting it after the Frost poem. I knew it'd come back to bite her (no pun intended) eventually.

I really like Bella's tactics, if I may bring terminology into it. She's very careful to keep her stupid female tendencies in check, letting him make the first move. It's in the details, like letting him acknowledge her first. Has she had a few boyfriends before or something? Because it took me a few years of diligent study and research before I knew that. I'm definitely skank-free, too.

How loverly...Considerateward bringing her a chai tea latte. Then getting all touchy feeling during the movie, and offering to get food with her! He must've learned that from Carlisle.

*cracks whip* Down, girl! Remember the fic you're reading!

Oh, right. So, I died when it was Lauren getting freaky instead of something sinister and actually dangerous. This story should really be classfied under humor/romance, but I have a feeling, since there will be vampires eventually, that it will get darker. At least, that's my sincere hope. And how anyone would be able to be pressed up against Edward while practically voyeuristic and not get wet as hell is beyond me. And damnit, Edward...finish what you started!

Okay, now that I'm done venting. I love your use of the sexual tension between them. It's there in the actual canon, though downplayed, most likely because of who she marketed the books to. Overall, the structure was quite the rollercoaster ride. But a kiddie one. There weren't really any major peaks or falling action, just lots of hills. I can tell it was intentional, but the question is-what are you setting us up for?
Emilie Fauve chapter 5 . 5/1/2009
My mental ears pricked up as I read that Angela works at the hospital. "Carlisle?" it said, in a hopeful yet undeniably lusty tone, with a hint of the sharp, unintelligent squawk of those seagulls from Finding Nemo. "Down, girl!" I said. "This is an Edward/Bella fic." Its head fell in sadness as it walked away, dragging its feet.

So Charlie and Renee ARE together again. Damn...this has been such a confusing subplot for me. I saw that he was attempting to surf with her, but then I remembered something about Phil in there earlier, too...okay. Good to have that sorted out. *phew*

I don't fucking fawn, either. At least, not on the outside...unless it's Carlisle. I'll fawn over him whenever he wants. Rawr.

And isn't Bella the slightest bit curious as to why the hell Edward is living at the lodge? Because Angela seems to have told us that he has been there for quite some time..."I've never seen him on Fridays or Sundays." Does she just think he works there as an entertainer?

As always, brilliantly executed.
Emilie Fauve chapter 4 . 5/1/2009
Okay, I'm absolutely positive you wrote this based on various scenes from my life. The after-breakfast scene with Jessica is almost entirely drawn from my memories. That's how one of my guy friends and I met...he was hiding from some other annoying girl. I've definitely accused other girls of being outright stalkers, too, even if I'm the same way. Just because we're obsessed doesn't mean we have to admit it! Hell! Overly flirtatious women really make me want to commit an act of violence...either against them, or myself, to end the torture.

“Bella Swan,” I said, thinking how sophisticated his name

sounded when mine kind of resembled a fat bird."

Yep. It's official. You're telepathic. Okay, so I haven't had those words exactly, but if you had seen the tears streaming down my face, my fist in my mouth to stifle my hysterical laughter, you'd understand that I feel the same way about my name.

Oh, so she HAD thought he was getting some last night. Why didn't she let us know that? ;)

I do have one request, however. (Read this with great sarcasm in your mental voice...)

Could you please make Edward just a bit more cryptic? Really, he just doesn't change the subject or dance around questions like a dervish quite enough.

There's nothing that infuriates and intrigues the opposite sex quite like mystery and aloofness. I know I certainly am...and I'm not even in love with Edward!
5,437 | « Prev Page 1 .. 350 357 358 359 360 361 362 .. Last Next »