Reviews for All He Sees Is Red
Theralion chapter 22 . 3/5
I'm going to try to make sure this doesn't sound like a flame, but I noticed several noticeable and severe flaws in this fic.

The concept is an interesting one, in showing Souji and Yukiko trying to hide their relationship. In execution, however, it comes off as a bit of a retread of canon with added scenes, which results in the story being bloated and slow-paced.

In terms of style, the fic seems to have a poor balance between text and narration. Often, the characters will have long exchanges of dialogue with little to no description of them or what is going on, while occasionally, scenes will be glossed over without much detail (for example, us being told at the end of Chapter 2 that Yukiko and Chie talked with and came to a better understanding of one another).

Similar to what Seilas and the guest on January 31 of this year said, Yukiko does come off as a bit temperamental and jealous, making her less likable than you perhaps intended. Similarly, Ai is more of a jerk than in canon, when she, over the course of her Social Link, resolves to become a better person, and even when she's at her worst, there are reasons she has for acting that ways (she honestly equates beauty with popularity).

The fic also copies large amounts of text from the game, particularly the bits in Naoto's dungeon and the part in which Yukiko's Social Link goes up to Rank 9 at the beginning. Doing so is not only against the rules, but also highly unoriginal; perhaps you should think up different ways for those scenes to play out or different things for the characters to say, even if they end up being similar to canon.

Another problem with the dungeon is that, in any sort of adaptation of an RPG, you don't need to include all- or even more than a token amount of- the random battles one faces. The only dungeon tailor-made to a story like this is the abandoned shopping district, in which there are only two battles- the Shadows one faces as a tutorial battle, and Shadow Yosuke (who, as the first Shadow from a person and the way by which Yosuke awakens his Persona, is critical to the story). The bit about him being forced to use Mara, aka the Persona that looks like a penis, is somewhat amusing, though, albeit a bit crude.

Similarly, the fic is funny at times, but at others, it comes off as overly forced, such as the My Little Pony references, which serve to date the fic, as Mr. Hell said (Persona 4 has its own in-series works of fiction, so perhaps you should include those instead).

Finally, the long gaps between some of the recent updates are a bit of a concern. I understand that things come up in real life, and you may find yourself getting stuck at various points, but going for months or years without updating can easily result in readers giving up on the fic, if not wondering whether anything happened to the author.

The fic has its moments, but all in all, it isn't well-written enough to make me laugh very often or get me very invested in the characters. I hope you don't take this personally, but that you can find at least some parts of it useful and use it to improve your writing.
Guest chapter 22 . 2/12
kudos for continuing writing this story. I hope you could update it sooner LOL. your story is really awesome mixing P3 and P4 and still based othe stlry line. Good Job man! cheers
Guest chapter 12 . 1/30
I have to agree with Selias, Yukiko is a bitch in this story. She creates so much problems between them and she puts him through a lot. I don't get why Souji still fights for her when she is not worth it. She seems very ungrateful and problematic. I wish Souji would just get mad at her and tell her he doesn't love her anymore. And this is coming from a person who ships Yu and Yukiko a lot.
Yasmeen Rashid chapter 1 . 1/7
OMG YOURE BACK YESSSS
Selias chapter 9 . 9/13/2015
Man, Yukiko is kind of a bitch. Honestly, with all of the trouble that she's been putting him through, and now this, does she even care about him?
Guest chapter 21 . 9/9/2015
OMG you are back is awesome
The Ruisu chapter 21 . 9/2/2015
Holy flying fucks! this is Alive?! Awesome!

Waiting for more Soujiness shenanigans
Guest chapter 20 . 4/17/2015
THIS WHOLE FANFIC SO FAR WAS THE BIGGEST EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER AND THE MOST I REMEMER ABOUT READING THIS IS SCREAMING AT THE SCREEN FOR SOUJI AND YUKIKO TO JUST TALK CONGRATS THIS WAS AMAZING
Beforethedawnbreaks chapter 20 . 8/4/2014
I enjoyed this fic. I really wish you would finish it.
Guest chapter 20 . 4/1/2014
Oh man, this is great. My only real complaint is that the drama in the latest few chapters felt a tad forced towards the end. I know what it's like to loose interest in a project and I know it's been two years since you last updated this but please don't abandon it. You're doing a great job and it'd be wonderful to see you continue it.
bekbekah92 chapter 20 . 1/25/2014
Please continue this its soooo good!
I can't wait for the next chapter!
Keep the good work up!
Ziodyne967 chapter 20 . 11/9/2013
DAMNIT MAN! If I have to wait another year for a chapter to be uploaded then... SO BE IT! I just love this story so much! Ive reread this story more times than I can count. Ive just been waiting to get to Nanako's heaven dungeon. Dude Im begging you!
BlackTyrantValvatorez chapter 20 . 9/17/2013
Great story! Hope you can continue working on it.
Guest chapter 20 . 7/15/2013
Awesome!
please continue
IReika chapter 20 . 5/26/2013
Nice story ;)
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