|Reviews for What If?|
| Sparrow chapter 8 . 6/10/2009
Good story. I have an idea for you. What if, in episode 61, Mikage called to Ushio instead to Jack? Because in the episode when she called "Atlus-sama!" Ushio got mad and found the strength to pull the door (?).
But if she had yelled at Ushio, he most likely would've opened it, with the courage that Mikage trusted him.
Therefore, Mikage and Ushio's feelings would’ve gotten stronger, and perhaps Mikage would've gotten over Jack.
Phew, I'm done.
| Kelisidina chapter 8 . 6/5/2009
Hmm... Grammar, spelling are in check. Again, it all flowed nicely but lack of intensity and portrayal of emotions prevents it from ranking into the superb fics.
| Kelisidina chapter 6 . 5/20/2009
I like the elaboration, to be honest I can hardly find anything wrong xD Great job!
| Blueorange99 chapter 4 . 5/8/2009
aw..don't say it's not crap. I liked it. Will there be a "What if" Carley didn't go to Arcadia Movement and just listened to Jack's warning?
| Kelisidina chapter 4 . 5/2/2009
Deliverance was accurate and good.
I have one complaint: She couldn't have felt his hot breath on her cold skin.
First, she was in a mask. A mask is not skin. Second, the only skin she was showing was in her fingers. So not unless she brought them up to her face, which was not mentioned.
Other than that tiny tiny tiny flaw, I liked it, especially because of the bittersweet ending.
| OtoInuke chapter 3 . 4/26/2009
That's a very lovely idea, I'll try and think of one(MUST WATCH 5D's AGAIN!)
And the happenning afterwords are so accurate!
Keep up the good work! Sha!
| Misty Narumi chapter 3 . 4/25/2009
oh...you're doing a great job!
and I agree...she wouldn't have become the Black Rose Witch...
| Kelisidina chapter 2 . 4/24/2009
I'll critique, but don't get me wrong; I still like Retributionshipping more.
Plot is good, deliverance was good too. Spelling is a bit off, but grammar is in check. Character are in check, and lying is so Jack. xD
| Kelisidina chapter 1 . 4/24/2009
I wanted this to happen so bad TT_TT
Plot is unoriginal, but deliverance was great. You were able to capture Aki well
| TDG3RD chapter 2 . 4/21/2009
Intruiging way you handled this chapter with both Jack/Mikage and Jack/Carly. I do agree that Jack and Mikage probably would've grown distant from each other.
Until next time.
| TDG3RD chapter 1 . 4/17/2009
An intruiging premise. Can't wait to see what you've got in store next.
Until next time.
| RedemptionWarrior chapter 1 . 4/17/2009
Interesting take...I do kinda of agree with your speculation as to what would happen afterward.