Reviews for Twilight the Rewrite
Guest chapter 1 . 4/16
I think it was much better
Corinne chapter 1 . 2/14
This was a really good first chapter! Right away you could tell this Bella is stronger in character development, and more of a teenager than the Bella from Twilight. Also, the fact that she left a boyfriend behind instead of just a mother who can't seem to make a decision, and a stepfather that was mainly just a back drop, made the story more believable. The changes were well thought out. I know you wrote this a while ago, but I'm a new subscriber and love your videos. You have a talent for writing!
justanotheranon chapter 32 . 12/12/2013
Hi there! I just finished reading your series and was captivated. I too dislike Twilight, and you have reworked it into something that is not just bearable, but wonderful!

I really liked the changes you made to the story, but what really stood out to me was how likeable and real your characters are. Bella can think for herself and isn't a defenseless moron, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The personality of each character really shone and I could relate to and sympathize with them, especially Bella, which is a refreshing change.

I also really like your writing style. It flows well and isn't repetitive! Thank you for not droning on about how beautiful Edward is (although he is not beautiful in the conventional sense in this story, which is even better) or how "clumsy" and downright pathetic Bella is in the book series. Your plot had a nice pace and wasn't ridiculous in terms of the love story (not too fast or too slow).

One thing to consider (and this is strictly my own personal taste, what I would like to see) would be giving the three nomads some kind of depth/background info (although I haven't read the rest of the series yet, but I plan to read it. Perhaps you've already beaten me to the punch!). It's just something I would like to read, although the story is great without it.

Something else to consider is your grammar and spelling. There were quite a few mistakes, but nothing too crippling. Nobody has perfect grammar (I think I made quite a few mistakes myself just in this review) but the mistakes distracted me from your awesome story. Maybe you could consider a beta?

Overall, I love this story, and I think you are fantastic at what you do. I'll be checking out your sequels shortly.
Guest chapter 24 . 11/14/2013
Alice seems soo evil...
Guest chapter 23 . 11/14/2013
Unfortunately I have read the rest of the series
you should sooo rewrite the other books
Guest chapter 20 . 11/14/2013
Repeated some words(ie:trap)
I felt that Bella could have done something when she was "trapped"
Better trap- way too easy, aren't vampires intelligent?

Molasses comparison

Stumbled upon this…
Guest chapter 18 . 11/14/2013
Oh my god...
That is so amazing!
ME chapter 10 . 11/13/2013
Carlisle is sooo much more…
And Alice is totally different, in a good way
ME chapter 4 . 11/13/2013
I love this twilight version:D
Chainsaw Cake chapter 4 . 11/7/2013


Chainsaw Cake chapter 1 . 11/7/2013
I'm one chapter in and the difference is already incredible.

I mean, for one thing, Bella has an actual personality and is actually LIKEABLE and RELATABLE. Bravo for that much alone. And her reasons for moving to Forks are actually plausible here, and she really does seem to love and care about both of her parents instead of only claiming to, and she has healthy relationships with other people, and ugh wow so many great changes in just the first chapter

I'm really looking forward to reading this. :)
Athena Storm chapter 2 . 10/29/2013
Thank you so much for this story! I finished reading the books and it felt like emerging from fresh hell then i got plunged back in because its lameness will haunt me to my dying day and this story is helping me forget it all
jordan chapter 5 . 10/28/2013
Fuck yes! Alot better than the original! I kinda wish it was in first person but it's chillin.
safranbrod chapter 2 . 10/11/2013
Wait, wait. Why is it defiantly over definitely? Am I missing something? The way you used 'definitely' was correct before the edits. Or was I living my life a whole lie?

Defiantly is derived from defiance, right? Definitely is definite (with certainty). Unless this is one of those British things I'm not aware of, that goes the same for ridged (ridge is a noun) and rigid (to appear stiff), and with then and than (self-explanatory jfc). What the heck is up with the previous reviewer?

Anyway, I do love your story so I'll just keep reading. love the changes already.
ArthurDent2 chapter 19 . 9/27/2013
hold on, did jacob just kiss her?
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