|Reviews for Saotome Ranma, Wiseman|
| SailorNova007 chapter 19 . 3/1
hope this updates soon
| Dunedain ranger of the north chapter 2 . 5/23/2013
I have one thing to say: What the heck is going on here?
For one thing, it's kind of strange that everyone in the Tendo Dojo readily excepted the appearance of Wiseman's group, second that he's Ranma from the future. And third, that you are jumping around really quickly, like with Chibiusa turning into Wicked lady just like that. Other than those things, good chapter.
| Jiopaba chapter 2 . 12/25/2012
Eh, I don't care for it much myself. It seems so... calling it contrived would be weird. A character who is totally unlike Ranma, named Wiseman, who is supposedly Ranma, shows up in the past with his new family, and then... I dunno. He subverts Chibi-usa by an interesting quirk of timing, and then sits down at the Tendo family table and talks for an hour with his family while the Tendos and the younger Ranma don't do diddly squat. They just sit back and listen I guess?
It seems like half the cast of this chapter might as well have not been there for the entire first part.
| ijpowers92 chapter 18 . 11/29/2012
I want to say that this is an interesting story but I can't tell whether I like it or not. You introduce characters and/or plot lines that do nothing or (appear to) go no where. And you constantly appear to be using cliche plot devices or character interpretations (sometimes before subverting or partially subverting them).
I give you credit on making the characters and your plot more complex than many fic writers bother to attempt. However, your fic is way too busy. You have to many characters around to do most of them justice and the ones you do focus on don't always feel like they are evolving naturally.
Then there's the fact that you seem to be at war with yourself whether to make certain characters irredeemable-villains/villains-turned-allies/misguided-heroes/just-plain-misguided/cat's-paws.
I feel like I can see what sort of effect you are trying to achieve (the character rarely seem to truly understand what is going on/pov rules all/there is no black and white) but it all comes across as messy.
My final verdict is that its an interesting and complex story. A mix of the comedy of errors that is Ranma 1/2 with the drama and sometimes tragedy that is sailor moon. However, your execution could use work. That said it does appear to be getting better.
| PaulBlay chapter 6 . 11/23/2012
... were humans worthy of youma to bread with
"Mummy, where do babies come from?"
"When two youma loaf each over very much one of them ends up with a bun in the oven." :P
| Selias chapter 19 . 11/16/2012
| Negima Uzumaki chapter 19 . 11/15/2012
A mini-teaser chapter, oh you are so evil.
| jgkitarel chapter 15 . 9/17/2012
Well, that puts a whole spin on things. I take it you're not using Paradox from Shadow Ranm or Wu One-Half, but it would not surprise me that the remnants of the old Moon Kingdom and Earth that survived the war would most emphatically not want the Sailor Senshi back.
Considering the problems inherent back then, along with wondering if the third faction accidentally triggered the war...
| Guest chapter 18 . 8/25/2012
I am enjoying your fic..but I think you may need to edit the last part of this chapter update. I seems to bleed together or cut off parts of it and jump to other places in the talks. I wonder if maybe either the site itself messed the chapter up or it could hopefully be that for whatever reason my computer is messing up the loading of the page. Eitherway..this is a fun fic so far.
| Zikarn Krais chapter 18 . 8/25/2012
Whoa, what happened to your chapter?
First half, fine. Second half, it just kinda went all over the place. And I'm not meaning in terms of plot.
| deathgeonous chapter 17 . 8/19/2012
Hmm, this is actually quite the brilliant fic. It very creative, and also unique. Thanks for writing this, bye for now.
| morgan chapter 17 . 6/10/2012
Several things here.
Where did Sdarian get the idea that Stargates were being "turned out by the dozen"? There are only FIVE of the things mentioned: Dark Kingdom aka Phoenix Republic; Tendo Dojo, Japan; CMOC of Norad originally at Area 51; Jusenkyok and the Luna base-that is IT. There aren't any more mentioned.
As explained in the story the Time Gates are a piece of TECHNOLOGY (Clarke's Law) that are suspected to have been COMPROMISED (Remember in Chapter 12 reaction Neo-Queen Serenity remembered getting a pure heart crystal from Pluto-causing everyone to theorize Pluto is DEAD and someTHING has taken her place in the 30th century)
When you get right down to it as mentioned in the fanfic there is nothing really special about the Time Gates - they are simply an *another* application of the Eisenstein-Rosen bridge that the Stargates use.
Furthermore, even if you use the dub in the anime Pluto appears to do a really poor job of protecting them as the Black Moon family appear to go back and forth between the 20th and 30th centuries enough to qualify for frequent travel miles.
| Sdarian chapter 17 . 6/2/2012
So, several mentions of Genma being stupid. Check. Several mentions of Neo-Queen being a idiot. Check. Only one mention of "Art of War"? That gets a half-check. A new person from a different timeline showing up. Half-check, since they didn't stick around. Several mentions of Boosted-Food. Check. Several times where characters bashing occurs. Check.
Seems like you mostly filled your usual quota of overused bad habits on this chapter as well.
While I like your stories enough to keep reading them, your writing really could be a lot better. A quick and simple way to improve your work right now? Lose a lot of the character bashing.
You think Genma is stupid. I get it. No need to remind me at least once (this time) a chapter, much less the chapters where you have this said more then five times.
You think Neo-Queen Serenity is an idiot. I get it. No need to remind me several times a chapter.
The Boosted-Food comment is reletivly recent. I'm still tired of it, and fully expect you to continue using it. So, I get it. No need to mention it once a chapter.
Having people keep reliving Ranma's life to somehow gain martial arts abilities even though that wouldn't work at all, and would fill them with bad habits that would need to be broken (as it's not their body that the memories show, all of their movements and reactions would be wrong in their bodies). Spreading around actual insanity that comes with a power boost to make them extra dangerous in the Neko-ken? Horrible idea. Which the characters seem to agree is a bad idea, yet it continues to happen.
This hasn't happened yet, but I fully believe it will given your other stories so a warning about it. Don't keep adding new timelines to this. Having a couple is fine if you work on it. Having something like the "Shadow Ranma 2x3" where you started off okay, then kept adding more and more timelines to the point were your readers lose track of what's going on is not good.
As a quick example here, this chapter had a Beryl dressed up as Sailor Nemesis show up. Why? How? The only explanation given is that she used the Stargate somehow because using the Time Gates (which would be what you should use since I was under the impression that the Stargates were just for getting from point A to point B quickly, not that they were replacement Time Gates) was bad, and she just dropped in for a quick warning from some other timeline not previously mentioned.
Why is she warning them? Is she going around warning every one of the infinite timelines that are in this particular situation? Why? And I'll say again since it is important. How? The Stargates are now replacement Time Gates? So a former Major Artifact that has powers over time, is now an easily replicated gate that is going to be set up on several major countries... Yeah, not the best idea any way you look at it.
So yeah. While you have some interesting ideas, cleaning up your writing would just make your stories a lot better. As I mentioned it several times already I'll explain, "Shadow Ranma 2x3" started off as a really neat idea. Then you kept adding more and more and more and more to the point that no one has any idea what's going on, characters or readers, then everything implodes for poorly explained reasons and... yeah, lets not steer this story down that path.
| ShadowAngelBeta chapter 17 . 6/1/2012
Overal a good story with an interesting plot. The beginning chapters feel like they suffer from moderate to severe cases of Mood Whiplash though, so you might want to look at that. Otherwise this is well done and executed in my opinion. Bravo.
| OBSERVER01 chapter 17 . 5/25/2012
another good it up