Reviews for Partners
Fibinaci chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
hmm very whirlwindish indeed. I was shocked he just came out and asked her but he had just been in a life and death situation so maybe hes changed abit. I also liked his loyalty to Hermione in the face of her honest criticism. Too many Harry/B,C listgirl stories go straight to bashing her to set up their preferred choice.
Meatzman2 chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
I'm sorry this fic is kinda shit, it's solidly written but your portrayal of Daphne screams and I mean absolutely screams MARY SUE. There is no development of a relationship, it just pops out of nowhere, aside from the child abuse thing on daphne's part (which isn't all that innovative) her personality is so extraordinarily generic.

Really need to think about that, maybe edit this chapter to make Daphne less sterile of a personality.
hpnut1 chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
I LOVE the start of the story and I can't wait for more! I hope you find your mojo for your other stories soon as I love them as well!
hex4292 chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
'Tis a good first chapter, and I can't wait for the follow up.
librarywitch chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
They are two hurt, hormonal teens, yes it could happen. THanks for such a wonderful start to a new story. Thanks for sharing!
BMFbagels chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
I'll be honest - when I read the summary, I expected nothing more than a fluffy shit-twist of a story.

While it definitely hasn't been shit so far, it IS loaded with a bunch of clichees - seeing as to what you mentioned in the Author's Note about their rapidly progressing relationship being intentionally that, I'll refrain from pointing that out (woops, I just did).

Whirlwind romances aren't necessarily unrealistic, seeing as they happen all the time, yet that doesn't mean the drop on your head out of the blue...

You don't need to build a very firm structure like you would have to for a HarryTonks story, seeing as canon Daphne isn't much characterized at all, and a whirlwind romance is a definite possibility, but you could at the very least put more emotion and development into their falling for each other. Not just "meet-talk-kiss". That's shit. Shit you can find in every second story on this site.

Alas, there's still the uber- emotional Harry, the abused Daphne (who seems nothing but Mary-Sueish so far) and the grand parlor that one can find in over two dozens stories within ten seconds if they cared enough to search.

I reckon the only reason why I'm pointing this out is because I really like the prospect of the story being told from Daphne's perspective, but this story is leading down a path that ends in a pile of shit... so, take some time and overthink some aspects.

Oh- and if you plan on writing it from Daphne's perspective, don't switch back and forth between Harry and her - it detracts from the reading flow.

Cheers,
ROBERT-19588 chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Harry needs to become emancipated.

Harry needs to goto Gringotts and have a look at his parant's Original will(s).

Harry needs to goto Gringotts and have a skills and heritage test run on him, as well check for any magical Blocks and tracking devices on him or his thangs.

- Harry needs to see what skills he has that he does not know about.

- Harry needs to see what other families he is relatd to, IE:

Arthur Pendragon, Godric Griffindor, Merlin, Etc.

- Harry needs to see what blocks (on his magic or himself, any tracking

devices or spells on him.)

- If Harry finds out he only related to the Potters, at least he checked.

Same goes for the Blocks and spells, if he finds none, at least he checked.

Harry needs to get Dobby & Winky to help him.

Harry needs to get all people and all races and species to help him, as well as Harry helping them bring Peace to the World, and Equality between sentients.

Dumbledore as well as Minerva McGonagall and Hagrid (Minerva McGonagall did not stop Dumbledore from Harry going to the Dudleys, and Hagrid brought Harry to the Dudleys) needs to goto Azkaban for putting Harry with the Dudleys, as well as, if the ilegial blocks and spells were put on Harry by Dumbledore, as well as the Dudleys to goto prison for what they did to Harry.

- Dumbledore put Harry with the Dudleys, so Dumbledore is just as

responble as the Dudleys for how Harry was treated by the Dudleys,

as Dumbledore was an accessory to how Harry was treated by the

Dudleys.

In the Harry Potter and mostly in the Fan Fics Dumbledore never gets in trubble for what he allowed Harry to go through at the Dudleys or at Hogwarts.

Snape needs to goto Azkaban for all the thangs he has done to Harry and his family.

- Snape over haeard the prophecy and repoted it to Voldemort,

thus puttig Harry and his fmily in danger.
David M. Potter chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Brilliant start to a great fic. I so look forward to future chapters. I love the pairing.
Belle Morte Rising chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Great first chapter love how you had them meet, can't wait for the next chapter and find out your idea for what is behind the convulsions.
Irishfighter chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Great start
Darkepyon chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Great begging to the story i am really looking forward to the next chapter.
AnnaBrownie chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
While I would usually ask when we might see an update on your other two stories (which I love, incidentally), you defended yourself pretty well in your author's note, so I won't. Instead, I will say this is a great start to a story and I very much look forward to wherever you might take it. Jeconais' stories over on FFA had a similar effect on my shipping likes/dislikes, and the stories you mentioned are pretty inspirational, so I'm not surprised you are trying your hand at a very different ship here. This is a fantastic first chapter and I hope to see more of this fic very soon. Love your writing, keep up the great work!
dfshie chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Cute.
rookie802 chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
I really like this. I have always thought I would like Harry/Daphne or even Tracey. The are Slytherin but have a little heart.

Cannot wait to see the next chapter.
Dave.New chapter 1 . 4/22/2009
Well, as some one who has read your other stories, and has also read some of Jeconais' work (mostly the HP/DG's) I can understand your enjoying those two peices of work.

Now, as for the other two stories of yours, it would be nice to recive an update email off of them saying you got around it P

Anyway, first chapter of this one is good so far, Vernon always did strike me as a beater, and this is an intresting twist to the Greengrass household from other stories I've read. Look forward to some more of ya work!
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