Reviews for Avatar: Rites of Passage
Caro N chapter 33 . 11/11/2013
Hello there CC!

I know you're busy and all, but I think it's time I posted this review I wrote a while ago (back when I finished the Rites of Passage):

Congratulations on finishing your fic! I think I scampered all over the place with this one since I found some characters more interesting than others. That's not on you; it's on the show itself.

I think my favorite POVs were Iroh's, Toph's, and Sokka's mainly because they're my favorite characters in the show, and I believe you captured their characters and how others view them very well. It took some time to get used to some of Sokka's story since he seemed to be more serious than he is in the show, but I think it worked well for your fic. Although I think I would have preferred the Serpent's Pass to be from his POV only but that's a nitpick.

However, I think the most well-written POVs were Zuko's and Hei Bai's. Zuko's story has a LOT of material to work with and I think the way you portrayed him and his struggles was great (especially since some authors tend to go overboard on his angsting). And adding the bonus Hei Bai chapter was brilliant. For a character that only shows in three episodes (and his appearance is brief in two of them), I loved seeing the spirit world through his eyes.

This was a very well-done fic and I'm glad I read it.
SharkbaitSekki chapter 33 . 3/2/2011
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH! :D I really wasn't expecting this little fellow as the bonus chapter, but you managed to pull it off~

Hei Bai's so cute X) To think even HE had his rites of passage O: Then again, his mentality at the beginning kinda scared me D: (Let's kill people so they won't kill my plants ;D)

And the last section was just... wow. I didn't think you'd actually fit that in xD Yey, I got a cameo, and didn't even know about it till I saw it! xD I promise I'll take care of the environment for you, Hei Bai! X)

So yeah, this story is very good. Little snippets of the same theme with different character, that was something I hadn't seen a lot before. Congratulations on finishing this story and on a brilliant bonus chapter, good luck on future projects, and thank you once again for this beautiful gift X)
Somariel chapter 33 . 2/23/2011
Wow! You did an awesome job with Hei Bai. You managed to give him a human element while still keeping that sense of disconnection from humans that most spirits in the Avatar world seem to have. I love how you were able to create such a long piece from just four brief appearances.

I apologize for not having reviewed Aang, Part 4, but I was just so blown away by it that I haven't been able to find the right words for it.
Kelev chapter 32 . 2/14/2011
Hey there CC! Sorry for the LONG absence, wasn't really anything I could do about it. Please forgive me!

I'm happy to see that you have successfuly completed the Rites Of Passage. Good job! Not many here complete their intended fics.

Onto the chapters I missed, I'll review just this last one, because constructive crits are no longer needed since this is now finished and there are no new chapters to use any new advice in. You did a nice job with Aang, he is one of my most favorite characters in the whole serise, and I hate it when his character gets botched in fanfics. I commend you for using the balance that was needed for him!

Season three was a great season to see Aang grow into the hero he was meant to be, and his hero's journey had some fun twists and turns (just like Zuko's). The Spirit Bending for example was cool, but undeniably weird, but you handled that VERY well in your retelling as pposed to some who make it more oogly boogly than they really need to!

I look forward to your next Avatar fic, I may or may not repost my drabbles, and perhaps if I do you can offer me advice just as I've tried to do for you. :)

Happy writing!

P.S. Thanks for adding me to your favorites list! Much appreciated CC. :)
Somariel chapter 31 . 1/29/2011
I just read through this entire fic in one sitting and I am absolutely blown away. You've managed to pick vital moments in the development of each of the characters you've focused on and get inside the head of the viewpoint character in a way that accurately reflects their personality and how they might feel about the focus character. I especially love how well you've managed to capture Aang and Zuko. You've picked the most crucial moments and decisions in the journey each of them makes over the course of the show and made me look at both those moments and the characters in a new light. I can't wait to see which moments and viewpoints you use for the fourth part of Aang's journey.

I do have one criticism, though. There are several places in the story that either contain small misspellings or appear to have a missing or incorrect word.
catstop chapter 29 . 12/6/2010
This chapter was nice. I enjoyed it.
2write4life chapter 28 . 12/6/2010
You wrote such a great collection of stories viewing everyone's perspective*. It makes me tearbend when I think about the series - and the horrible job M. Night did representing it. I wish we could have had one last run with the GAang; but I'm sure I'll grow to like Korra.

*(I could see Aang's own story ending with a hint of Korra.)
Kimjuni2 chapter 28 . 11/18/2010
Ahh i love it, awesome job!
Kelev chapter 27 . 11/8/2010
Whoo, long time no see, and it's all my own fault for not reviewing the last few chapters! Sorry 'bout that... Honeymoon and all kinda got in the way. (Which was great, by the way. Married life is awesome!)

Now, on to the review:

Zuko seems to have more time than any character devoted to him, even the Gaang (with the exception of Aang himself), so it leaves a lot of material to work with. You included the 'reunion with Mai' scene that was originally in the comics, that was awesome and well written! I had wondered if you would include that, seeing as that was the actual transition to Zuko's season three appearance. (I'm also pleasently surprised to see the shout out to me in the second part- you really shouldn't have!)

There are a few typos here and there in part three- and it seems that you are rushing through at too fast a pace. I'm not talking about scene placment, I'm talking about how fast and rather choppy your narrative is. Perhaps you should go over this particular chapter and revise it, so that it has a better flow and is more readable. (And please don't be upset- this is not a slam to your writing skills. I'm just pointing this one thing out so that you can be aware of it in the future, and make this fic all the better!)

I think the best part in this chapter is the Mai reunion and Zuko's realization that Azula had just suckered him into a tangled web. You really nailed it with those scenes, and I love the description you chose for Azula in that scene. Good job!
Kimjuni2 chapter 27 . 10/28/2010
Ahh this is my fav zuko part, i love it, awesome job!
Kimjuni2 chapter 26 . 10/4/2010
nice, can't wait till the next one :DDDD
Kelev chapter 24 . 9/23/2010
Hey CC! Sorry for the LONG overdue review for this chapter! I think I'll combine this and Zuko part one in this review.

For Katara part three I think you did very well. However, it was a little... er, choppy. I don't know what made it so, but I think it was probably the second half of this chapter's POVs that did it. I think that it would have been more benificial to have flipped the POVs, having Zuko narrate the Yon Ra face off, while the big battle between Katara and Azula should have been from Katara's POV. It only seems right that she should describe something that she participated in to it's fullest, not Zuko (who was one inch away from croaking and therefore probably wouldn't be able to observe the battle at all in his pain). Zuko might have shed the same light on the Southern Raiders part as Katara did, only in a more interesting way.

As for Zuko part one, I don't blame you for apologizing for how repetitive Zuko 's scenes are in season one. He had only one focus, and that was to catch Aang. You did well with what you have to work with, and I look forward to chapters two, three, and four.

Wedding is only nine days away, so I may not be able to review again for quite a while. Good luck for your interview!
Kimjuni2 chapter 24 . 8/25/2010
Ahh i love it, espicialy the end, awesome job
brainandheart chapter 8 . 8/23/2010
Again, very good chapter. I did really like the way it focused on Suki's view of the world, I thought it gave depth to a character who wasn't explored very deeply in the show.
brainandheart chapter 4 . 8/23/2010
I have to agree with your editors on this one. This chapter was definitely the best so far. I really liked the way you showed the subtle change in Ty Lee, as well as how, despite the similarity of all the Kyoshi warriors, she felt more pride in herself and her individuality than before.
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