Reviews for Her Prince, His Risk
RoseQuartz1 chapter 6 . 12/18/2012
Bleh! ME NO LIKE PRINCESS ROSE! SHE EVIL! SHE-DEVIL! Ya' know I have an idea about what you could've written instead. The princess that Edward was s'posed to marry could've been May(Mei) Chang and when she came for the wedding, she could fall in love with Alphonse so he would FINALLY understand what love is like, and basicly Edward would have a chance with Winry. *histerical giggles*
RoseQuartz1 chapter 5 . 12/18/2012
Dumb footman! Does he not care about star-crossed lovers in danger?! XP Dumb Yoki! XP
RoseQuartz1 chapter 4 . 12/18/2012
ME DON'T LIEUTENANT YOKI! Bleehh. This really interesting. I'm gonna keep reading!:D
RoseQuartz1 chapter 1 . 12/18/2012
Rose/Scorpius ROCKS! You're talking about the Harry Potter couple right?
Guest chapter 6 . 8/1/2012
hey why did you stop there? It is so good! please finish it!
The flamer chapter 6 . 2/3/2012
Rose is a bitch
The flamer chapter 6 . 2/3/2012
Rose is a bitch
AnimeLvr4ev chapter 6 . 10/9/2011
Pandora's Mirage chapter 3 . 8/13/2011
Hello! :)

I'm getting straight to the point, yeah? The first thing I noticed that this story has a certain flow to it. Thumbs up on that. Dialogue-wise everything seemed fine. (:

The characters, well, they are pretty interesting. But I have to admit that this is moving way to fast for my liking. How can someone FALL for the other person when she doesn't even know anything about him? At the beginning she hated his guts and because the prince was a bit touchy-feely (and kind) she FELL for him? I'm sorry, but that does not make any sense.

They talk as though they've known each other for a while which they haven't, right? So where is general awkwardness at the beginning when you find a girl dripping wet?

So you I suggest that you should work on building the relation from the very bottom and I always tell this, characterization is important. This story will be lost without it.

Second constructive criticism is that there is NO description of anything AT ALL, whatsoever. So punch in a few more details about the scenery, or describe the pond and surrounding, describe the characters and all that.

Hope this helps, good luck.
Pandora's Mirage chapter 1 . 8/13/2011
I liked the story. I'm typing this out as I am reading, so bear with is one thing however, this all seems a bit script-y. There is a lack of details in the scenes so maybe you could put in more description of the characters, of the scenes, the environment, the villagers, and the parade. Even though we know how they all look like, I think it would be better, as a story, for you to portray and write about how they all look; that way the whole chapter will be a bit more longer.

If there is a shift in the scene you could put in line exactly necessary but it's up to you. :)

Found a couple of grammatical errors, comas and all that shit. But on the whole, a very good beginning, I like the setting and yeah. Now, why haven't you updated? ;)

...Update soon? *offers cookie*
We rock the house chapter 6 . 7/20/2011
Wow, I really liked this chapter! It's getting very interesting and I can't wait for you to update your story! keep up the good work!
Guest chapter 6 . 7/11/2011
Rose iz a a Queen BITCH
ShiningPurpleStars chapter 6 . 4/11/2011
OMG! i so love thisssssss ...

hope you can update soon i've been waiting quite a while for this

Guest chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
Ain't that from Aladdin? Were that girl stopped a litt

Sing that from Aladdin? Were that girl stops a guard from smacking a kid? Dunno though good chap though
moonrae6 chapter 6 . 12/7/2010
I juat finished reading all the chapters and all I can say is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! You are a FANTASTIC author, and I love this story. I cant wait for you're next update, i'm looking forward to it! Plz update soon!
63 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »