|Reviews for Center of the Universe|
| Spideynova4Life chapter 2 . 5/27/2014
I am laughing SO DAMN HARD right now, because I think you've captured the essence of a perfect Mary Sue. I also love that you seem to hate writing this but are also having so much fun because making fun of Mary Sues is only THE best thing on Earth.
| Pizzachic chapter 2 . 4/27/2013
Please update. I can't wait until she is killed off!
| Pizzachic chapter 1 . 4/27/2013
OOOOoo Heck no!
Darn you Rain! Darn you!
Killl it! Killl it!
Starfire and Robin forever!
Kill Rain off, she's narcissitc and unrealistic and...oh my gosh. Kill it.
| HolySnappzors chapter 2 . 12/20/2012
You do know it's Kyd Wykkyd, right?
| Her Royal Nonsense chapter 1 . 12/5/2012
Y’know, I stopped reading Sure parodies several years ago – mainly, because I’ve felt they’ve been done to death and there were some phenomenal ones that I couldn’t see being topped... but this came very, very close. I enjoyed it far more than I thought I would. I genuinely giggled, and only once before has a fic here ever made me actually laugh. So brava.
And no, I didn’t skip over the next eight paragraphs. And *checks nose* I seem to be alright. :P
Loved the love-at-first-sight cliché; you know, I remember back to years ago when I was trying to build up a romantic relationship between two characters – took me ten or twelve chapters before one of the characters admitted feelings for the other and received several reviews saying that they didn’t see this ‘supposed strong relationship’ yet. I was like, ‘jeez, if I’d only coped out and did the love-at-first sight schtick, writing this thing would have been so much easier’.
The freak martini olive accident made me giggle – I’ve definitely had a couple of those. You’ve taken a stab at nearly everything I can think of – the tragic death of her parents, the troubled childhood and having to work to support her family (although, I am surprised she didn’t go down the hooker route), her amble bosom, etc etc.
It was HILARIOUS and incredibly well written. I wish I could offer you some critique but apart from the lack of space between the underlined ‘my’ and ‘help’, nothing of note genuinely popped out at me. Well done.
| Aster Sapphire chapter 1 . 11/16/2012
*slowly applauds* WOW, this is like every sue charecteristic rolled into ONE. XD. Not to mention funny as hell.
Marigold Susan Klishay
Martha Selina Hoogivsakrap
Brilliant simply brilliant! ;-)
| Cliche KH Fan chapter 2 . 7/13/2012
lol suprisingly entertaining
| DarkMousyRulezAll chapter 2 . 5/26/2012
hahahaha I almost got mad for a while how the Mary Sue droned on, but wow! it reminded me so much of a certain main character of My Immortal...the worst fanfic ever written! XD
but I'm glad you're writing this from the Mary Sue's POV and giving all the flaws of the Sue. It'll really help me with the *few* OC stories I have from turning into something like this.
It must take a lot of nerve and guts to continue writing. I applaud you and I do hope it continues. :D
| silverarrow65 chapter 1 . 8/20/2010
Well, as opposed to just inboxing, bout time I wrote a review.
I thought this captured the spirit of a Mary Sue perfectly! It's true to the very end and in my opinion, it's hilarious. The first chapter was awesome, but unfortunately, I felt that it lost a little steam in the second chapter. I understand there was a fight, and it had to be focused on, but this story is dedicated to Mary Sue, so the more spotlight on her, the better. Just make sure you remember that Mary Sue must ALWAYS be the star, no matter what situation.
Eurgh, I can't imagine how difficult writing this must've been. I'm sure you were stifling your nausea, as I would've been had I been the brave soul you were to attempt...Mary Sue purposefully.
Whoa, rambling. Update!
| Kermit Kills chapter 2 . 4/30/2010
no complaints, loved the fight scene!
am taking of ten percent for starfire bashing.
o, what do you think?" Robin asked. I could hear the smirk in his voice, even over Starfire's incessant chattering.
"…And this is where we play the cars for racing, and watch movies of scariness and comedy and over here is where Raven likes to meditate while we are 'hanging out' and this is…"
"Doesn't she ever shut up?" I whispered to Cyborg.
"Nah. Just tune her out."
Taking Cyborg's advice, I ignored the steady stream of crap gushing from her mouth and wandered around the room.
STARFIRE KICKS ASS!
your grade is 90 percent
| Kermit Kills chapter 1 . 4/30/2010
k, first what i did not like.
(Boy, does that air-headed bimbo annoy the heck outta me. Doesn't she look like a whore in that mini-skirt? I wish they'd kill her off. Raven is way prettier anyway. Oh, and Blackfire is kind of cool; I wonder what happened to her? I'm not that into many of the other characters in this show, but I so loved the Red X episodes, and the one with Nightwing. Man! I want that luscious piece of eye candy so bad! Hold on…shoot! I'm supposed to be telling a story here! Dang it! Okay, back to the fic… X/)
i hated when you interrupted the story. to me it was just annoying and distracting..
I was five years old when my perfect family was destroyed by a freak martini olive accident. My parents, Thomas and Martha Klishay, were enjoying themselves at a high society cocktail party. The food was good, the music was upbeat and occasionally romantic, and all the unseemly drama was still in the bathroom. My father romantically fed my mother his martini olive after mom asked a question that perfectly set up a joke. He chose to deliver the punch line while she was still trying to chew, and in stifling a fit of laughter she inhaled the olive and tragically began choking on it. My mother was in a panic trying to cough the olive up, but my father tried to maintain his calm for the both of them. Another party-goer heroically stepped up to save my mother's life with the Heimlich maneuver, but her husband was standing right in front of her trying to reassure her, and when she coughed up the olive it flew straight into his mouth and he suffocated. Distraught, my mother flew from the sight of her beloved's fresh corpse, and in doing so, slipped on the floor, wet with the spilled drink. The paramedics got there in time to save her life, but the head trauma had sent her straight into a coma.
i think that was dumb way to kill characters. surely you can come with something more exciting?
on the upside, i love the plot. really enjoying the whole romance with robin thing. i think the narrative is written well, and this story i find really interesting.
if 1 had to grade this, i would 80 out of 100, for me 50 is a pass.
| DYlogger chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
You just HAD to name your Mary Sue's characters after Batman's parents, didn't you?
| animationiscool chapter 2 . 10/16/2009
This chapter also has good parodies of Mary Sues. I enjoyed the fanfic. Are you interested in adding another chapter?
| animationiscool chapter 1 . 10/16/2009
I'm not familiar with the Teen Titans fandom, but this story is a good parody about Mary Sues. It was very funny, especially the names (Klishay and Hoogivsakrap).
| Silas Goodwill chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
While I have submitted a couple reviews to this before, I decided to be formal for the Story Review Game:
First, just because you say that your story is in fact a parody, does not excuse a lack of improvement on the original product. A good parody does best when it is making fun of the original product while simultaneously being all the better.
The first few paragraphs got a few chuckles out of me (especially the names), however once I got past that, I was left with a bland feeling of "Why am I reading this?"
You purposely pull all the normal mistakes, yet it appears to me as though nothing has changed that makes it worthy of reading. Yes we know that she has powers, yes we know that she joins the Teen Titans, yes yes yes...We can practically guess the first chapter right from the git-go.
Additionly, the whole purpose of the story is to be the meeting of Gary-Stu. Yet by the second chapter, their is no sign of Gary in site and the plot begins to drag on.
To Improve, I would place more importance on the humor aspect. If you plan on writing a parody, then you need to ether make it hilariously serious, or ridiculously funny. Make us want to keep reading.