Reviews for Failure
Asynca chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
A fantastic vignette with a very strong, familiar voice recognizable as the Prince. Despite the introspective framework, this story rings very true to the original game.

Commendations for not just having Elika throw herself at the Prince as many of the other stories in this genre depict. I tend to believe her when she says very defiantly that nothing will happen between them (or at least, not with a good 50,000 words of setting up a situation in which she does).

As I have come to expect with your stories, the pacing is excellent and the language is well-chosen and therefore invisible.

I felt the acute characterization was best expressed by appreciating this one sentence:

"Just as a side note: the dim light from the fireplace really enhanced the intense hatred on her face."

3
sink or float chapter 1 . 8/4/2010
Nice story. Keep Writing!
DarkangelGuard77 chapter 1 . 6/11/2009
this was brilliant and deep. I heve to say i love the last line: And then I’m going to go and beat the living hell out of his brother. :)just brilliant. and i want to know if ur gonna continue this or not?
USWeasilgirl chapter 1 . 5/23/2009
love the ending! and your right i believe they would be a better team out in the world.
Still Bullet chapter 1 . 5/8/2009
Wow! I thought that was amazing!

The fact that this was in first person really gave me the sense of anger that the Prince felt-expressing the mood of the story is just not as easy to do in third person. I love how you wrote the Prince's thoughts-I can totally imagine him thinking and saying those exact things. I thought this was very well done, nicely in-character, and I didn't see Elika as weak; I'd expect her to do those exact things.

This was a nice story, however! I think you should expand it, continue it. An amazing story, definetly :D Nice work.

Oh, and turns out, the new DLC for Prince of Persia picks up right after the ending of the first game. If only I had Xbox Live, I would totally buy that right now D:
reader chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
Wow, I like your style of writing! It's broken, fractured but I somehow remain connected to the story. That's such a talent!

Actually, the sense of inconsistency kept me wanting to read on.

Also, your sense of humor is great. Very funny and very dry!

I can't wait to read your next part! And I see nothing wrong with your portrayal of Elika.
D chapter 1 . 5/1/2009
Great stuff! You portrayed the Prince really well. I hope you'll continue this fic. So many possiblities. And the one line at the end... Definitely someting new, but definitely something I'm looking forward to!
VVolf chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
“I haven’t forgiven you,” she said, once.

“I never said I was sorry,” I answered.

I loved the Prince's reply. In other stories, we'd see a guilt-ridden prince. So it's refreshing to see that he feels he'd done the right thing.

Oh, and about making Elika a weak character, to be honest I really don't see anything wrong with it. She'd never been to the outside world or witnessed it's ugliness. I guess with her royal upbringing and religious devotion, it would almost be natural for her to act like that.
callalili chapter 1 . 4/29/2009
When I finished the game, I wished I hadn't finished it quite so soon because I knew there wouldn't be any decent fanfiction out yet, and I desperately wanted to see the story continued. But yours was wroth waiting for! The characterizations are excellent-I particularly liked all the snarky things the Prince keeps thinking-and the situation you've crafted is wholly believable. Good job!
any chapter 1 . 4/29/2009
i like the story so far. especially since you started after the games epilogue. please continue soon. i really hope that Elika forgives the Prince. but... and i do not mean to be rude when i say this, but i saw a few mistakes while i was reading and it kinda threw me off my imagination. overall the story is great and im looking to more.
ladywater2010 chapter 1 . 4/28/2009
I enjoyed your story and I totally understand your excitment about the next game. Please write more, I like the way that you see the characters.