Reviews for Bells for Her
Elwin Ransom chapter 1 . 3/5/2010
You know, I read Mock Effect over a year ago and found it mind-blowingly hilarious (I never got the chance to review it as it was taken down almost immediately after I had found it). Your fantastic flair for comedy was obvious there, so naturally I assumed that this (as I happened to stumble across it well after it had been published) would be a funny story as well. After all, comedians can't be serious, right? Would Seinfeld make much sense as the lead writer of a war movie? And we've all seen Dane Cook's attempts at serious acting...

But I was dead wrong. Not only was this not a comedic piece, but it was a really well done short drama. I am impressed. I have no shame in admitting that I fell headlong into the trap, too, as I thought (until the end, obviously) that this was about a DS Revan. The ambiguity was weird at first, but I figured a lot of people do that because they think being mysterious adds to their writing somehow, but your withholding of their names for so long was intentional and it worked wonderfully.

The prose is nice, but I like the content far more. Jolee's thoughts are great, and true to the character. I especially liked the analysis of the nature of the Force and whatnot-how it isn't two entities but one. That makes sense. And it's definitely something that he would say during his more introspective moments.

So, in conclusion: good work! I'll have to scour the rest of your story list now. Haha.
Lilan chapter 1 . 9/25/2009
You totally fooled me - I thought it was a DS Revan! But what a powerful and well-written piece. Thanks for a great read!

Lilan
thesummerstorms chapter 1 . 5/13/2009
Wonderful! At first I thought Revan was drawing her lightsaber. It took me a while to realize it as Bastila; that they were both turning. That's a good way of putting it, by the way, turning not falling. I've always been curious how Jolee would see it, after Nayama.

Not as a second chance, certainly, because it wouldn't bring his wife back. Maybe just the same trial again, life making him repeat the lesson he had failed?

If there were any spelling errors or grammer mistakes, I missed them completely. Once again, an excellent piece of work. Definitely being added to my favorites.
aenzo chapter 1 . 5/2/2009
I think this story is a good one, and it really stands out from the general style of current kotor fics. It's much more of a character sketch or vignette than a Point A to B adventure/romance. There are a lot of things I like here. I like the writing first of all; your narrative is smooth and clean and just sounds good; you don't overdo it with modifiers. Both the characterizations and dialogue are subtle. I like the fact that Jolee is intelligent and opinionated as the narrator, especially in his views of the Jedi, his companions and the Force itself. I think you captured his cynicism and philosophy very well. I also think the contrast you make between Revan's and Bastila's outward complexions is a beautiful image-istic touch.

One thing I noticed:

The moment I got tripped on was when Jolee jumped out and "one of the women bared her teeth and flashed her lightsaber." I realize this is the start of your sleight of hand, but I don't know if the ambiguity is really necessary-or, rather, if it was not in fact stated too obviously. When your writing suddenly becomes vague where it had been clear, it is noticeable. I wasn't sure if you were writing then of Bastila or Revan-which was probably your intention-but I did become distinctly aware at that point that there probably was in fact going to be a sleight of hand, that you you were being deliberately ambiguous. That diminished the eventual surprise. The subject "one of the women" is going to alert readers, I think, that trickery is potentially forthcoming. The way the story is written, I think that line is too actively ambiguous and draws attention to itself, which may weaken the epiphany at the end.

I say "may," of course, because I like the story nonetheless.
Oraman Asturi chapter 1 . 4/29/2009
Nice... But you should make revan a gray I always find the Jedi's Instance on their being one way or the other irritating its the one thing that makes it so satisfying to go towards the dark side. The force powers are good for healing and staying alive but the unaligned and dark side powers are so much better for offense that is where the danger lies not the alignment. the light side ones are more for defense. Please update as soon as life allows if your continuing this story I love female revan's when they aren't completely angsty and so gullible they believe the jedi drivel out right with contemplating the truth themselves. Maybe have her contact her past selves and decide the grey is for her your choice anyway.
Rascarin chapter 1 . 4/29/2009
A superb piece of writing, as ever. Took me a while to realise he was thinking about Bastila, not Revan, but thats probably just me being dumb _ .

Nicely done. You should write more KotOR.
Knightfall1138 chapter 1 . 4/28/2009
Fanfics like this make one realize just how many stories KOTOR is capable of producing.

This is a very good story. Jolee is as observant as ever, and still manages to communicate his disenchantment with the whole battle of light vs dark. Nicely done!