Reviews for Shadows Fall
mllhild chapter 1 . 1/31/2012
So Lutecia sacrificed everything again just to get her mom out of "comatose" again.

I really like Chrono as evil commander, after all he was taught personally by the Lieze and didn't even twitch when he heard Grahams Idea of Freezing a nine year old for eternity between the dimensions.

Also just as you pointed, this Spikes on his Barrier Jacket seem suspicions. .

Just one thing was odd. On a penal colonie there was no use for a combat mage? Hard to believe. The crime rate in such places should be high. Of course it would be different if the local police/military forces would be corrupt and didn't want some outsider to meddle in their business and so they won't accept Megane.

Thank you for this story and on I go to "the first time".
Syaoran Li Clow chapter 1 . 5/2/2009
We can’t call this “redemption” foe Lutecia, but for her mother and those she sacrificed, is understandable that she accepted their offer.

Speaking of Chrono as the head of “Shadow”, I guess you’re right with that assumption; Admiral Graham was the one being wrong with the “Book of Darkness” incident that almost cost Nanoha and fate linker cores and several other atrocities that could’ve been prevented. Surely, he’ll know when to dirt his hands and when not.

Good job.
RadiantBeam chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
"Shadow"? Really? It's good and I should go check it out? Hmm, I'd better do that... oh, wait.

Alright, jokes aside.

As I mentioned when you first sent this to me, I love the subtle irony of the whole situation with Lutecia and Megane. All Megane can really think about is that they can return to Mid-Childa, and she doesn't know exactly what Lutecia has done in order for that to be possible. It's very painful and sweet, because it shows how much 'Cia loves her mom, even if it's at the cost of her own wellbeing and beliefs.

The reference to Nanoha and Fate, along with the rest of their crew, is an excellent point. As heroes, the girls and their Fowards are perfect for the job, but they don't make good agents. They'll always want to save every life they can, while sometimes the hard truth is that someone has to be sacrificed for world peace. The TSAB is like that overall, and it justifies the existence of the NSIS. Kind of ironic, in a way... the TSAB mages wouldn't approve of Shadows, but it's their own inability to sacrifice that brought about their existence.

The omake is hilarious. Lutecia's dark secret, indeed.


You realize, now, that I need to post my new story as soon as I can, right?
World of Dragons Productions chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
Wait, wait, wait.. You mean you're making Chrono "The Bad Guy" because of a piece of wardrobe...? God damn, I can tell this is gonna get messed up. Well, I suppose I should watch StrikerS(but the whole military thing is what keeps me away). I'll be checking this out as you go along so good luck with the rest.

Sunder the Gold chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
I don't recall what exactly Lindy and Leiti said about Graham's punishment, but I do recall Lindy opining that the way his case was handled was a little odd... and how Leiti just stared at her.

The series never tells us if this was significant. But if it was, Leiti and the TSAB knew more than they were saying (and it was odd how useless the TSAB sometimes seemed to be during the incident), and Lindy might have been subtly pointing out that she wasn't blind or stupid. (One wonders if she ever spoke to Graham again after that incident.)

I'd assumed that Lutecia's exile was partially to recover from the Relic implanted in her and used by Quatro (something that Fate did not have to recover from) and the fallout from Scagiletti would take longer to blow over for her than Precia's stigma for Fate. Considering these things, I'm wondering why Lutecia is recieving a still-harsher punishment than Fate did. Fate was allowed to join the regular forces, but Lutecia is forced to join the spooks or nothing?

Chrono knew that Megane would be dying of boredom, and that Lutecia would soon follow, and he allowed that situation to continue rather than helping them? Deliberately denying a need is as much an action as deliberately creating a need. Exploitation is exploitation.

If he alone had the power to recind her exile and get her into a morally questionable line of work (in a military that prefers Persons of Mass Destruction -like HERSELF- to think of themselves as sterling heroes), then he had the power to get her into the regular forces, where regular rules would apply to her if she ever stepped out of line. Which, considering her power, is something they never want her to consider doing.

Now that Chrono has made a decision like this, he will probably make more decisions like this. And since he seems to fully believe he's doing the right thing, he would eventually end up WORSE than Graham.

And they ARE asking her to commit crimes. That's what they do; if what they did was not breaking the law, then their particular service wouldn't be needed. The crimes may be as minor as breaking and entering and violation of privacy, but the woman admitted that they go as far as assassination, which is technically (and sometimes truly) murder and definitely not countenanced by the law.

Claiming that the kidnapping showed who she is was also low. "Yes, we think that you will do bad things for us because you did bad things before. We think that you can't ever rise above that, and we don't want you to try. You're bad, and we want to put that badness to use for us. We won't allow you to do anything honest with your talents. And your mother can rot as well, and we want you to think that's entirely your fault, not ours."

Vivio (and Caro and Eriol) would reduce that woman to paste and firmly assure Lutecia that she is better than that, worth more than that. Fate would break Chrono over her knee; Megane would simply kill him. Agito would be convinced all over again that the TSAB is exactly what she learned to fear and hate.

Practicality can get unpleasant, but this isn't pragmatic; it's evil. Quietly, subtlely, politely evil, but evil all the same. It's ugly to the core, hiding behind a bait-and-switch of flimsy pleasanties and "honest" admissions. It's the seed of the next round of corruption. The brains-in-the-jars also thought they were doing evil things for good purposes, and look what THAT led to. The very crap that Lutecia went through, and now from the same breed of people, the crap that she is now going through. These people are a self-fulfilling prophecy.


"The shock of having all her assumptions about the world turned upside down at the age of ten, then the court judgment that insured she'd be separated from both her old friends among the Numbers and the new ones, Erio, Caro, and Vivio, that she'd just made, were terrible shocks to her." Run-on sentence, with "shock" redundantly repeated.

"all to often" - all too often
Dracis Tran chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
"As TSAB penal colonies went, Lutecia thought, Mau Gram was almost a paradise."

The second time you use this setup, I think you meant Megane, not Lutecia.

'"Except," noted the commander, "that all to often justice isn't enough to save us all.'

All too often ;)

I liked it... I'll say what I said to RB: I hate the concept (or the need) of the Shadows, but you handled it just as well as she did. I love Chrono as their leader. That makes SO MUCH SENSE. I have an idea for another companion piece... but I'm not sure I'll write it.

And the Omake was great, as usual.
Aoishiro chapter 1 . 4/30/2009
LOL, Lu-chan watching Three Blind Mice XD. Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk! XDD