Reviews for Sententia
0204 chapter 6 . 7/3/2009
Dear Writer,

I have to say, love your writing, but I don't think this chapter was one of your best. Probably my biggest critique would be the lack of mixed emotion in the chapter. I mainly just felt Malfoy's unrelenting hate and contempt for the world, but I think it would have been nice if some other persons, or maybe some other emotions relating to others characters in the story had been included. Other than that, very good as always. Keep up the good work!

P.S. Sorry if I was a little blunt with the criticism, please don't take it personally, it wasn't meant like that.
elektra30 chapter 6 . 7/3/2009
Nice perspective from Draco. Sullen, sour, spiteful, and yet unable to shake away the thoughts of Hermione creeping onto him subtly...pretty nice one!

Except -

How can this fic not end happily? :(

I guess some things are not perfect. *sigh*
elektra30 chapter 5 . 6/22/2009
Wow usually I don't really go for stories in the first person perspective because it seems a little narrow...but I must say you've done a pretty good job characterising Draco and his emotions!

There are some random details which I enjoy, like the scene in which Draco wakes up in the Hospital Wing thinking it is Heaven (very nice touches in emotions there!), the surreality of him swishing the dagger around in the Room of Requirement, and how you mentioned it is sad Crabbe and Goyle have no separate identities.

There may be minor errors in terms of spelling (can't really exactly remember where), but they don't hinder the reading, which is probably why I can't remember. I suppose if you're writing in first person, Hermione seems to be rather distant and one-dimensional. But then again, you're only on your 5th chapter, so there's more to come I would think!

All in all, I await the next chapter! (:
sunshinefarah chapter 5 . 6/21/2009
You were definitely right about thee major angst in this chapter! I was astounded at the feelings and emotions that poured through (in a good way of course!) and I'm sitting here thinking, "WOW." Don't worry at all, this was well written and certainly different in the way Draco was getting even angstier. Great work!
CailinNollaig chapter 3 . 6/21/2009
she spits out my name as if it’s poison on her tongue. If only… - Haha, I likd that bit. Not that I want Hermione to die, but it was funny. I'll have to ask your permission to use it with credit some time ;)

-

“What does it matter?” I almost scream. “Defense Against the Dark Arts – it’s all just a joke, isn’t it, an act? Like any of us need protecting against the Dark Arts—” that was one of my favourite bits. You can sense his frustration and it was just.. brilliant. My favourite line of the whole chapter, MAYBE story (that I've read so far).

-

Shakespeare... he knows that's a muggle, right? Again, I don't know whether Draco would be interested in muggle writers. Why would he have given them a chance in the first place to read them? Where would

he have gotten the books?... It might be good to develop this point, because it would show a SMIDGEN of acceptance in Draco.

-

Draco and Hermione's conversation was really very good, you captured Hermione well. And though some may argue that she wouldn't care for Draco, I think she would be upset that he's turned into a murderer.

The guilt was a nice touch, nicely written.

-

Well, I've gtg now! Talk later,

xCNx
CailinNollaig chapter 2 . 6/21/2009
I like the coldplay song, good choice for the chapter. I like their X&Y album, but my favourite is still "Fix You" which I am saving for a chapter I like in FH. That song is really emotional, and just .. brilliant!

lol

-

So that accounts for all the Slytherins. As for the Gryffindors, what would they be doing here - Interesting. He only mentions those two houses... Is he in Hogwarts? Voldie was in Hogwarts?

-

And I accept my fate; what can I do? I have nothing to say in my last moments, nothing I want to do. No one I want to thank, nothing I want to say. This is life. This is real. - That's some good writing! I

realised I haven't said it yet, but you're a very good writer. I'm impressed by this piece, and I'll admit, I think it is better than Grey. (gray?)

This part is very pivotal, I think. When Draco wakes up... he had better realise that he has nothing to say goodbye to if he dies.

-

It’s thanks to bloody Granger that I’m not dead now. - How did he come to the conclusion it was definitely her? and by the way, So Draco to begrudge someone for saving him

-

I know if the Dark Lord doesn’t kill me for failing, father will. - No, not bad Lucius! I love Lucius, why'd you make him a mean Dad? :( lol

-

But I’m not sure if I’m willing to risk my soul for him, my conscious.- Of course Draco only thinks about the consequences for him if he kills Dumbledore, he doesn't think about anyone else or what will

happen. Doesn't think of anyone elses feelings... Good job!

-

Good Draco thought in that chapter, and we really got some insight into how his mind works and how he feels.

I'll review chapter three, but then I've to go because I've to write before I go out. :)

I'm not a fan of angst (even though I seem to be an angst queen!lol) but I like your approach here. I will read on! I'll bookmark it after the next chapter.. Those things are useful, I use to have to favourite it and soon enough my favourite's were clogged with FF stories. Okay, I should stop talking now.

Onto the next chapter,

xCNx
CailinNollaig chapter 1 . 6/21/2009
Heyy~!

Right, I'll get to your writing in a minute but... but- I can't believe it. IT's crazy, and- How did you even? I've never seen... You had an *irish* song there? How did you find that? Do you know what the lyrics mean? Well, I presume so if you put them in the story. I'll forever love you for doing that!lol jk!

-

Éist le mo chroí - Listen with my heart, which means listen to my heart really.

Go brónach a choích- sadness..

Tá mé cailte gan tú - I'm talking to you/with you.

‘s do bhean cheile-lips together, or something similar. Kissing?

An grá mór I do shaoil - A lotta love in my life.

Threoraí sí me.

Bígí liomsa i gconaí- something about living.

Lá’s oích. Ag coaineadh ar an uaigneas mór- Crying, I'm very lonely.

Na deora, go brónach - Sadness.

Na gcodladh ins an uaigh ghlas chiúin

Faoi shuimhneas, go domhain - About Peace, in the world. or something similar.

Just awesome, simply awesome. How did you know about his, or even get it though? I'm extremely intrigued.

The end bit was good, too, but I won't translate that too because it will take up too much space.

-

~

She keeps murmuring, but I wish she would shut up. - Hah, such a Draco moment. I love his silent exhaustion and annoyance with Pansy.

~#

Don’t want to realize what I’ve become. Don’t want to breathe. - This is a very real moment, and Draco seems to let himself admit he's doing wrong here. Sure, he contradicts himself throughout the chaper because he's confused, but this is a moment of clarity. It's a human moment that takes away all the nasty comments he had made. It shows how truly troubled he is by this, even if he refuses to let it show. I really loved that line and it has to be my fav in the chapter.

~

“I have a feeling I’m about to find out,” I say dryly, shuddering at the fact that I’m talking to he– it. - Had to add that one in, simply because it was so funny. I loved his dry humour here and nonchalance and impassive towards Hermione.

~~

I smirk with pleasure when she flinches at the word. Well, it’s what she is. I can’t change that.- It sounds like he's trying to justify his thought here, just maybe.

~

Interesting how he hates Hermione more than Potter, but logical I guess. He's not a mudblood..

~

Smaointe, thinking or thought. I must look up that...

Loved the chapter.. :)

Can't wait to see how you develop the Dramione.

xCNx
ShadX - Shadow Elf chapter 5 . 6/18/2009
O.O That /is/ angsty...
0204 chapter 5 . 6/15/2009
Dear Writer,

Very angsty indeed. A little too much for my personal taste, but everyone is different. Really liked the substance and body of it though, and am very interested to see what happens next!
sunshinefarah chapter 4 . 6/10/2009
(nod of approval) Nice turn of events! I was not expecting this which is why I sat reading with baited breath. You know, you almost tricked me into thinking that he would actually proceed killing Hermione! Draco's human thoughts especially made it much more real...as if you can relate to his angst. Btw, wonderful angst! Keep it coming, I'm liking this AU HBP a lot!
ShadX - Shadow Elf chapter 4 . 6/9/2009
... Draco tried to murder Hermione...
0204 chapter 4 . 6/8/2009
Dear Writer,

This was definitely one of your more interesting chapters. It did highlight Draco's reluctance to kill, which was very interesting indeed. Many stories don't cover that ground, so this chapter helped sculpt the already individual, and special story you have. It is a cliffhanger, so keep writing!
ShadX - Shadow Elf chapter 3 . 6/1/2009
This chapter is so of cute... Update!
veggo chapter 3 . 6/1/2009
HEY!

Another great chapter! Haha, muse. such a good band.

and the quote from hamlet! ms. 3 would be proud!

~the veggo!
0204 chapter 3 . 5/31/2009
Dear WRiter,

Very interesting chapter! Lots of elements, and not too dramatic, but it certainly packed a punch. Very curious as to your next move. I am definitely going to keep reading and reviewing!
55 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 Next »