Reviews for Affliction
Madebyme chapter 4 . 5/11/2009
Oh how you spoil us with such wonderfully mysterious chapters! Your writing is beautifully detailed and I find myself getting lost in the eerie world you have created here, with its tense atmosphere and intriguing characters.

The fact that Val was pregnant was a great surprise that I didn't see that coming. And she tried to kill Sam, wow! I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying the slow reveal of this story, the suspense is palpable and it makes for a great read.

As always your characterization is strong and I can't praise it enough. You managed to capture the stained relationship between the boys so accurately and your own characters are solid, each with their own complexities.

So I have a theory! Was that Val trying to suffocate Sam in the cemetery or was it Ramona? (No need to answer it, I just thought I’d through it in!)

Fabulous chapter, you're doing a great job and I'm really enjoying reading. Take care, Abbi.x

PS Thank you very much for enquiring about my own writing, it's nice to get a nudge every now and then, it's greatly appreciated! I'm currently writing what I think is a one shot but I've hit a bit of a hurdle so the plan is to motor on until I reach the end and then iron it out later. But I'll warn you now, I'm a very very slow writer!
marinawings chapter 4 . 5/10/2009
ah, the suspense! this is such a good story. i'm very hooked. your writing is very intense, which is in keeping with the show. i like how the flashback in this chapter sort of mirrored what was going on currently. and i like the way you write the perspectives of the brothers. they are very much like themselves.
leahcim chapter 4 . 5/10/2009
liked the line about the kids losing more shoes and socks per capita... so their mothers claimed.

Really liked Dean's guilt still playing in here and his fear about his upcoming job with saving the world. Like that you are shedding light into the drinking.

Liked how the coffin sounded like the Tin Man.

Like that Val was pregnant - didn't see that coming and wonder if this is significant?

Really like the flashback of Val and how she pushes Ramona forward, having her 'breathe' in Sam's scent. Nice!
rosebud98 chapter 4 . 5/9/2009
Again, I love so much about this chapter. I loved the walk up the hill and the 'discussion' over how much Dean had to drink. I love how you give us so much as we first see Val's dead body - and discover that she was pregnant - the shroud - wow. I love how she charges up the hill and Dean looks behind him, not sure if she is talking to him - ha! I love the past - the intensity she has on Sam, the focus. I love the conversation with John. The simple "You." I love all the way to the end with us coming back to Sam and his confusion over what he is seeing and how Val gets the upper hand, so to speak.

supernaturalsammy67 chapter 4 . 5/9/2009

love...i actually love you!

this fic is AMAZING, you have the brothers right damn perfect down to every detail- whats going on with Sam and what Val did to the memories are coming back- like the flashbacks with john- not flashbacks i know but...yeah lol

this is amazing

i love the way you write and whats happened to sam..AAHH



thankyou x
vonnie836 chapter 4 . 5/9/2009
Pretty awesome. So they are getting all wet and muddy and Dean is obviously not doing that great,trying to keep up with Sam and getting all sweaty. Not amazing though, if he drank ten beers and whatever booze he had in his flask. It also shows how closely Sam is watching his brother. I loved the spirit coming up towards them, asking Dean if he smelled this. And then she gets on Sam.

So that's when you flash back and explain what happened years ago. Val getting Sam and trying to smother him with her hand, lulling him and Dean in with her words, sounds really strange. This makes me think even more that she killed Angel. And now it also comes out she smells sulfur around Sam, which is weird, because obviously no one else can smell it. And she is pregnant, was still pregnant when she died.

So back in the present she is trying again to smother Sam, who feels strange and for a moment thinks she is Lilith. It's amazing though how loving Val is, like she is really trying to save him by killing him.

This is so awesome and tense and I can't wait for the next chapter. Hugs, Vonnie
carocali chapter 4 . 5/8/2009
So more of the story unfolds. Val may not be insane; she can see demons - or pre-demon activity - in people. Well, smell them. Interesting... Now it seems she murdered her own son (named Angel? nice touch!) because of what he would be become.

But why is she here now? What stirred her back to come and haunt the home she once had? Did she come out, knowing it would draw the Winchesters back to Ben and Jeff? Why is she so powerful?

Awesome back and forth with the graveyard, especially the boys playing by Angel's grave. Another great chapter!

youthere chapter 3 . 5/7/2009
Hey, did you get my rev. 4 ch. 2? ffnet's still being funny.

"Don’t smoke. Don’t do drugs. Don’t exorcise demons with your mind. Try crossword puzzles instead."- mwhaha!

"For that reason alone, Sam would ask about what new information Dean had heard. Dean wasn’t keeping secrets, he was being as open and honest with Sam as he possibly could. Of course, when it came to Sam and the games he was playing and who he was playing with…"- hm, I hadn't thought of that. You're quite right, Sam seems to be the one with all the secrets. Wonder if it's a conscious thing for dean, trying to buy honesty with honesty?

I liked that there was the whole question of Sam waiting for his brother or not. That's something that has very clearly changed since Hell.
Madebyme chapter 3 . 5/7/2009
I'm really enjoying all these little glimpses into the past and trying to piece them all together to see where this story is heading - I find it all very exciting! And if you didn't notice already I'm a big fan of mystery and suspense fics and yours is really capturing my imagination and intrigue, so thank you so much for sharing it.

The parallels between the two sets of brothers are interesting as are the different sets of family units and how everyone is in similar situations yet none of them are really able to share or see it. Jeff, Ben and Val all seem to fit so neatly into the Supernatural world and I'm really excited to read more of their back-story, especially now that you have revealed that Angel is dead!

I have a million different possibilities about what is going on here running through my head, I won't bore you with them all but please know that I'm really enjoying what I'm reading so keep up the good work! I'll catch you again soon, take care, Abbi.x

PS I did get to watch OTHOAP and yes it was one hell of an episode! What’s happening to both brothers is heartbreaking to watch but completely fascinating. I just wish that we weren’t so far behind you guys!
youthere chapter 2 . 5/7/2009
"The jukebox kicked to the next vinyl and A Song for Jeffrey started twanging from Jethro’s guitar and Jeff smiled to himself. His fist dropped down and his chin fell to his chest. His breathing slowed as he listened to the sounds mumbling into the open area and he realized that he never could understand the words to the song.

“Figures,” he said aloud."- loved this little tidbit. Quirky and kinda depressing.

Hm, wonder what John's advice was...

Loved little Dean's fascination with the bar. It's so interesting how things are often up side down with him, finding value and comfort in things that are destructive and negative to most people.

Oh, oh! Is Angel one of the special children? Val's not crazy, is she? Is she psychic? Is that why Sam's so uncomfortable there? Did they have a confrontation in the past?- okay, I'll stop asking :-D
youthere chapter 1 . 5/7/2009
"..Until Val’s on her feet. Then she can… try again.”

“Try what?”

“To be a good mother.”

- oh, ouch... that's just a tragedy in three lines.

Hehe, the image of John as Andre the Giant had me laughing out loud. It's just, kinda... spot on! In a very silly way. (Oh, and The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies EVER!)

Love the image of him all bulky with his children hidden under his coat.

“No, Dean. There are no monsters under the bed.”- bet he'd already checked.

The whole scene in the Impala was just painful. You have the off-ness of their current situation down very well.
marinawings chapter 3 . 5/5/2009
and so the plot thickens! you're doing a wonderful job of building suspense. i'm so curious about what's going on. and so concerned about my winchesters! i always am when i watch the show, so i think your writing does a good job of capturing the characters and atmosphere of supernatural. keep up the good work! and thanks for the e-mails! i enjoy hearing from you.
carocali chapter 3 . 5/5/2009
"Maybe some kind of witch doctor or wizard or maybe just a regular M.D. with a white coat and an expensive pen. If one existed, Sam guessed this would be just the kind of medicine the doctor would order.

Stick to things that everyone else does. Brush your teeth. Go to work. Raise a family. Eat. Sleep. Be normal. Because being normal will be the road that leads to all the happiness in the world.

Don’t smoke. Don’t do drugs. Don’t exorcise demons with your mind. Try crossword puzzles instead."

Love how Sam tries to reason what he's doing and how someone with a supernatural background would advise him. This is just a tip of all the craziness of this story.

What happened to Angel? How is Ramona, and is Val really haunting the place? Guess we'll find out soon!

vonnie836 chapter 3 . 5/5/2009
So you answered my question about Angel, he is dead. I don't believe in the accident though. I think Val killed him, couldn't take the evil yellow eyes and whatever else may have happened. Then she couldn't live with it because she killed her own child, drove her crazy. John exorcising the demon and Dean hearing Sam's name, him remembering now and wondering about his dad and how long he knew. Dean being haunted by Alistair in his dreams and still sleeping into the afternoon, that's scary. His guilt, his feeling of not being able to reach Sam anymore.

And then there is the question I ask before, is it Val? Well I might find out during the salt and burn. Well written and really tense. Hugs, Vonnie
vonnie836 chapter 2 . 5/5/2009
I had written such a great review and now I realized it never showed up. So the second attempt might not be as awesome as the first, sorry. I love your barkeepers, they are made of awesome. It's funny for the boys to walk in after Dean's spur of the moment decision and find out they've been expected, actually been searched for.

The flashback was great too. Having Dean trying to escape the room and get out to the bar would be so like him. A six year old Dean would be drawn to the excitement. John meeting Val and talking about their kids, finding that Angel and Sam share a birthday was creepy enough, but to find out that Angel gets yellow eyes, very scary.

So Ben finally found another lady for his life, she gets pregnant and the hauntings start. They can't salt and burn the bones because both men get injured when trying. And my question is, is it really Val? What actually happened to Ramona? Where is Angel?

And what's wrong with Sam? Dean feels like he wants to either strangle him, fight him or hold him so tight he can't escape. Really want to know what's going on.

Well I guess I get my wish because I can go to the next chapter. Hope this review will go through. Hugs, Vonnie
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