|Reviews for Affliction|
| graceofgod chapter 8 . 12/27/2009
I know some people find lyrics in stories difficult to read, but I love it. Watching Supernatural has changed my taste in music, almost completely, so I always enjoy coming across both songs I know, and can listen to in my head while I'm reading, and songs I don't so that I can go out and find them! I only wish I could write them in to my own stuff as seamlessly as you have in this one. Maybe I should write a fic set in a bar...
Love the way you had the boys reconnect, just for a moment, when they were patching up. It's somehow sad that it took an injury Sam couldn't tend to alone for them to do it, but the realisation for Dean that he hasn'thelped Sam since before he went to Hell is... well. Horribly good.
We are mean to those boys, aren't we? heh
But then, because your characterisations are so good, things aren't quite resolved between them, and the tension's right back again. It's far more human for it to take a long time and many moments of reconnection before they finally resolve their differences, and you write that process really, really well.
You also write the mystery of the hunt perfectly as well - throwing outthe odd hint for each revelation so that it doesn't come as a complete, 'whoa, wth?' surprise, but more of an 'oh,of COURSE that's what happened' one instead. AndI'm loving every minute of it!
On to the next chapter, quick!
| graceofgod chapter 5 . 12/27/2009
yep, still hanging out, still oh-so-intrigued, and still loving it! So much so that I forgot to review the last few chapters...
Anyway. I really enjoyed the tension you've got between the boys in the present. It feels like they both desperately want to find a way through everything that happened in that season but can't quite do it, and that conflict in them is great.
The drama unfolding in the flashbacks is awesome too - I don't think I breathed during that last one! You've got a real knack for describing what's happening beautifully, but without getting so involved in it that it bogs down the action. End result - a scene that sucks a reader in and dumps us down on a tattered barstool in the corner!
Awesome stuff, and if I don't review the next few, well, you shouldn't write such gripping stories, now should ya! lol
| graceofgod chapter 1 . 12/26/2009
oh, i'm intrigued... Nice opening chapter - it's kinda quiet and slow, but in a good way. I like Ben and Jeff already! Looking forward to seeing what comes...
| Death-Muncher chapter 12 . 10/21/2009
I really enjoyed this story. :)
| Kumaproogey chapter 12 . 8/31/2009
I abso-effing-lutely love your writing! Your descriptions are amazing both in both word choice and originality. I can't give you just one example to prove my point b/c there are so many to choose from.
I love the plot of this story - loved the past & present intermingled.
I LOVE the addition of the music. I am a HUGE music fan myself & I believe that music can often say more than a person can and can be a good friend to a person as well. So I understand the desire to input music - I didn't find it distracting at all.
I was enthralled from beginning to end - completely hooked. Awesome job!
| LovinJackson chapter 12 . 8/26/2009
He’d fallen behind. Dean was waiting for him a couple of stones ahead
That’s different from the first time they went up the hill lol
“Think it just stopped or you think something’s coming?”
Yeah, I’d wonder too.
His eyes were slit open and he was looking up to the sky.
You know this image freaks me out. I remember years ago I was watching a Titantic documentary with my mum late and night and they showed pictures of some of the babies body’s they’d found … one of the baby’ eyes were open to a tiny little slit and all you saw was the white of its eyes … it looked …*shivers* not something you want to watch before you go to bed. I dreamt that night that we had a dead baby in the attic (we don’t have an attic at my mums house btw lol) and I was holding it and I swear it was one of those dreams where everything “felt” so real … *shudders* anyways … back to the damn story and away from my creepy ass nightmares …
“So you want to do it? I can keep look out and you can torch Eddie Munster.”
*snickers* Eddie Munster LOL I do love him.
There, about a foot down was Sam, his fingers grasping hold of a small tree root sticking out of the earth.
Dean blinked. He could feel Sam slipping away from his wrist, even as his brother tried to adjust his grip. Dean’s shoulder pulled with strain and he felt a chatter start to beat out from his teeth.
Oh God, I can picture this in my head … its so good!
…and his entire world dangled from his hand and Dean knew right then – he knew he could do this.
LOVE this line.
“I’m sorry.” Sam was babbling. “I’m sorry.”
“Shh.” Dean hushed. His palm flattened out and he pressed it against the back of Sam’s head. “It’s okay. Just, don’t talk.”
Dean felt Sam’s grip tighten on his side and in the cold and the dark, he felt briefly warm. He closed his eyes and pretended, for just that minute, that they had won.
*happysigh* this was just brilliant ;)
Sam had picked it up for him for his birthday this year. A day he thought he’d spend drunk and angry. Instead he spent it with Dean.
Nice touch. I like that you mentioned that. 30 is often the people comment on like “I never thought I’d reach 30.” And I think that Dean coming back just before his 30th birthday should have at least earned a mention in the show. So thank you for picking up where Kripke forgot lol.
“We’re never going back there again,” Dean suddenly said and Sam turned his head, watching Dean’s shoulders square with the wheel.
“Hey, if I remember right, I suggested a motel.”
HA! I laughed at Sam’s reply lol
The radio played on and Dean kept tapping. Nothing got by him. “I don’t know. I think he was just scared. Got old. People change, you know? I think keeping Val’s secret so close to his vest all these years just ruined him.”
True ;) and that would certainly weigh a person down over that many years. And fear does funny things to people.
And no one, no one, had ever believed in Sam as much as Dean.
Sam should remember that in the future and then when it comes to the time when he asks Dean to trust him in the finale? Think about why that has suddenly changed lol
Then he stopped and Sam knew he was waiting on him. Sometimes having a brother was better than a superhero.
Such a good and strong line ;)
Okay, well my friend I have to say that although it took me a while to get through (being interrupted by things I would rather not be doing ie work is frustrating lol) I enjoyed this ride immensely. It was so well structured and had me enthralled right from the beginning. I enjoyed all my favourite things in this story. Dean and Sam as brothers, Hurt!Dean, Protective!Sam, Caring yet hard John with a side of protective John, and a damn good story holding all of that together. I liked the glimpses you gave me of John. I know he wasn’t a saint but I do sometimes people focus too much on the negatives with him and forget the reasons his son’s love him so fiercely. There was a good in John that balanced with his crappyness lol
And you kept so true to the issue’s of the time when this was set that it was easy to relate to the show and get absorbed with what was happening but also the boys thoughts as well.
It was easy to imagine in my head, playing out like a movie … or an episode :P
I loved the original characters in this. They all were fleshed out with their own personalities, even little Angel at the start was given a personality with his interactions with Sam.
I was growling at Ben towards some of the later chapters but I think Dean is right. I think he was a good man, and still is, but scared and trying to protect what was his. We’ve been shown the extent some people will go for their family with the Winchesters as an example. Do you think Sam would have still taken Dean to Roy Le Grange if he had of known Marshall Hall would die in Dean’s place? It’s a question I ask myself a lot. I wonder what I would have done in Sam’s position if it had of been my own brother. People will be pushed to do crazy things to protect their own and I think Ben had a lot on his shoulders and what I liked a lot about this character was that in that last scene with them you saw him lighter. He seemed … happy. And I was happy for him. I think Dean was right also that having Jeff made a lot of difference. The guy might have been quiet but sometimes a lot is said in silence. That constant support and presence was probably what kept Ben from tipping over the edge a long time ago.
I LOVED the ending. LOVED it and I am so glad that I finally got off my arse and read it! I definitely didn’t regret it! :) Thanks for sharing your talent :)
| LovinJackson chapter 11 . 8/26/2009
Dean’s shoulders jerked. “That’s what I just said, genius. Now shut the fucking light off.”
Dean rubbed his arm.
I love the way you connected the flashback of Sam not letting go of Dean’s arm, with Dean rubbing his arm in the present.
“They were yellow.”
Dun dun dun …
Oh wow … okay I stopped randomly commenting because I got too caught up with reading. Wow that was intense and I admit that a little part of me was cheering Sam on when he finally lost it with all the shots at John. I’m the first to criticize the stubborn bastard when he deserves it but no-one talks about their Dad that way … Go Sam! And I loved that whole scene especially when he added his brother and himself into that equation. Sam has issues upon issues in this (and in the show at that point) but damn that was well said whatever his reasons are.
Onto the last chapter …
| LovinJackson chapter 10 . 8/25/2009
He wasn’t an addict.
Keep trying to convince yourself there, Sammy lol
…droplets falling from his eyelashes.
M … Wet Sammy … and I’m a fullyfledged Dean!Girl lol
The hairs on his neck pricked away from his skin. He didn’t notice the change in temperature until he felt the weighted tug on his jacket. Sam’s head whipped to his right and before he had time to react, he was on his back staring up at gray skies with yellow eyes.
“It’s Daddy.” He hitched in a breath and shifted his heavy load underneath his feet. “It’s Benny. Look at me, Conchita.”
God, I love Protective!John!
“You touch one hair on my brother’s head,” Sam continued, “and I’ll put your brother down.”
Oh, Amy, I could kiss you for that line! I’ll refrain, don’t panic but wow. I mean I am a Dean!Girl and there is nothing I love more than Sam like this, threatening someone threatening his brother … oh this is so good! SO Good! *bounces with excitement*
"It's not Val haunting the place." Sam nodded to Ramona and bent down closer to her, his knee bending in front of the wheelchair. "It's Angel."
The yellow eyes Sam saw make sense … ohh this is coming together so freaking nicely. Very exciting chapter :)
| LovinJackson chapter 9 . 8/25/2009
and the littlest sink Sam had ever laid eyes on.
Which would probably look even smaller in comparison to the sasquatch himself hehe
he didn’t have to worry about a flurry of photographs illustrating the way he had grown away from his family.
This is true but it also makes me sad. I LOVE photos. I am forever annoying my family and friends with taking photos. I enjoy re-arranging my photo albums. I’ve probably collected more photos than my Mum did when we were growing up. I’m a little obsessed with it lol If I were living on the road with the Winchesters (preferably as Dean’s wife maybe:P) They wouldn’t escape the photos mwhahaahhaa … continuing reading now …
Music always sparked memories. And with the memories, came the pictures in his mind.
I could say the same really. I mean I know every time I hear the eagles? It reminds me of the long drives to the same camping spot every Easter and Christmas with my Dad and little brother. Things like that. Music … its always there, whether you realise it or not. For me? It’s an important soundtrack of my life.
But now Sam could defeat Lilith.
Oh Sam …
Exactly, Sam thought but he bit his bottom lip and let it go.
I just said the same thing lol
“This is a bitch!” Dean thundered as the rain fell down and his boot struck the fence.
This made me smile. And I sympathise. Not that I have been climbing hilly cemeteries recently but the wind and the rain … we’ve copped it bad here the last few weeks, especially last night. It’s a bitch lol
Guess working opposite sides of the great divide still got the job done.
Oh this line … it caught my breath in my throat at the double meaning it holds. So ominous of what’s to come in the show from this point (well actually already happening slowly)
Sam smiled wide. Dimples everywhere. Dean didn’t see them but he heard them. “The Who.” It continued on like that, through the evening until night descended. Sam answered every song, every artist, the lead singer, the bass guitarist, the drummer. He recounted where Lynyrd Skynyrd had gotten their name and who died in the plane crash. Then that brought on a whole other subject of how many bands each of them could list where a member perished in a plane crash. Then those who O.D’d. Then those who blew their brains out… or something to that effect. They continued for hours until Sam’s voice grew hoarse and Dean fell asleep for real.
Demon blood … tsk tsk, Sammy lol
Where the hell is Sam indeed … onto the next chapter to find out, I go…
| LovinJackson chapter 8 . 8/25/2009
He saw Dean’s throat bob and his lips mouthed Okay but he didn’t hear the word.
Sam pulled the gear shift into Drive. “If you need anything, just ask.”
Then he chuckled back a sob when he heard Dean whisper, “Zeppelin.”
Aww … seriously just … aw
“Oh, God.” Dean rolled his head on the pillow and groaned. “You’re a vet.”
Oh I do love this man. Love him, love him, love him. Do you get what I am trying to say here?
She stood up and bent over her young patient, a white towel in her hand wet with chloroform
Thank god for that. Well actually no. Thank YOU for that. I was cringing even thinking about that bone going back in.
Sam looked away as his father took a step and folded the man in his arms.
That was really strong coming from Sam’s POV. And wow I just love that you have John connect so much with someone in this story. I don’t think we have seen this side of John a lot and you are just doing such a great job with it while keeping the whole Sam/John animosity, y’know … Just very, very cool, my friend. LOVED this scene.
Sharp, cold, and distant.
Loved this description from Dean about Sam … its so accurate!
Loved this chapter and I have one more thing to say to you on this chapter.
Thanks for sharing that story and why music is so important to you. These moments if you can get past them, definitely make you a stronger and wiser person and you did. *is proud … even though I haven’t known you long lol*
Music is Life. Bring on the lyrics! :P
| LovinJackson chapter 7 . 8/14/2009
Thought I’d sneak in another chapter before I have to get ready to go out ;)
Sam stared down at the gun and he swore he heard Dean mutter something about his Physical Graffiti cassette and, “Maybe it was your heart you buried.”
Then Sam couldn’t take his eyes off his brother.
Wow, usually I’ve commented by now but I was just too riveted to type anything, especially the end as Dean slid down and the boys ended up having more words *hugs them* I should be Gibbs slapping them but hugging them benefits me and them lol
Dean was propped against the rear passenger door and Sam was pressed against him.
Such a sweet image.
Sam could tell by the way John leaned against the side of the car. He acted like he was giving confession. He could also tell by the way he spoke. It wasn’t like he was talking to Uncle Bobby or Caleb, those guys he would shoot the shit with. No, this held a respectful edge. It was like talking to a brother, but one that John had an admiration for.
Loved this explanation and I loved that Sam could tell that it was Jim that John was talking to and I love how he knew! Very Cool!
He didn’t know why but the words only made Sam cry harder.
Salt lines on every window, door, and open crack to the building? Check. A CLOSED sign on the tavern to keep out unsuspecting drinkers? Check. Two bumbling bartender-brothers sent home after dinner? Check. All the booze left in the joint at their fingertips? Priceless.
Loved this play on the Mastercard ad ;)
In an odd way, it felt completely wrong to him. And nothing could feel more right.
He hadn’t noticed he’d been humming.
I love that about him.
Dean closed his eyes for a brief second. Forty years. Forty years without a beat, without a chord. Forty years without a pizza. Forty years without making love. Forty years without peace. Forty years without a brother. “Just what I could carry in my soul.”
God when you look at it like that it’s … its so much more worse. This kinda took my breath away Just thinking about it as I read the words.
Loved this chapter lots, the brother’s the ghost, the glass flying, the brothers speaking while being patched up while not much was being resolved. It’s all very captivating :) Cant wait to sink my teeth into the next chapters :)
| LovinJackson chapter 6 . 8/14/2009
For a quick second, Dean could have kissed them both.
Dean threw a chink into Jeff’s chain of thought.
Very cool sentence ;)
Sam was bumping his elbow. Dean’s eyes blinked open, his right hand keeping the towel pressed to his temple. He glanced over to see that what had started as a small slant had turned into a full on lean against his brother.
Aw … and the hurt junkie in me squee’s .. I love these little things almost more than the main ones :P
…or, Jesus, he just needed to be needed again.
Oh my poor broken hero …
Their smiles couldn’t have looked more phony if they’d been assembled out of wax
Made me think of Jared with the whole wax comment … my mind is going all kindsa places today as you can see lol
He even tried to be civil to Ruby
God watching that on the show was hard for me to swallow lol
Dean budged away a couple of inches, growling under his breath, “Why don’t you just mind your own fucking business.”
Oh yeah *nods* they are totally fine lol
Dean listened as best as he could in his tipsy state
I wanna see Dean drunk on the show … just once more. Yellow Fever wasn’t enough lol
Wow. That whole seen with Val and Ramona was chilling. I had a bad feeling as soon as I started reading that scene. I cant imagine what was going through the poor kid’s mind. Damn! Awesome writing :)
“Santana. They had an album. Called it Supernatural.”
Every time I see this album I think of the boys. Rob Thomas did “Smooth” on that album so I have a copy lol I was waiting for SOMEONE to bring it up eventually … AWESOME lol
Oh shit they are in trouble. You have me on the edge of my seat and now im cursing the damn puppy coz I REALLY wanna read more lol but its gonna have to wait until tomorrow :)
Till then? See you next time. This story is an awesome read! Very Awesome!
| LovinJackson chapter 5 . 8/14/2009
Oh, God. Dean blinked again. He was losing Sam.
Yes, Dean … physically losing Sam! Move your butt! Lol I loved the slow progression of his mind as he woke up and how the feelings he’d been having of him and Sam slipping further away from each other eventually melded with what was happening in front of him … well once he opened his eyes anyway :P
There was a few seconds after the shotgun fired where Dean wasn’t sure if he had slipped back into oblivion or not.
Oh I really liked that line ;)
Should he stay or should he go?
This line reminded me of a song … I started singing in my head LOL Don’t laugh
He wondered if he was looking for his big brother, but he didn’t really want to know the answer.
*sniff* I hope some part of him still is
Well, wasn’t that the shit.
Ha! I liked this line lol Sounded like someone I would say … and moving on …
They were both getting really good at walking away from their words.
Aint that the damn truth *shakes head at them both*
Dean tried to smile back but it died before it ever had a chance. He found himself running to his right, grabbing hold of the crumpling fence and throwing up all over little Angel’s grave.
I knew it was coming and is it wrong that a little part of me is thrilled? Lol I mean I guess I kinda like hurt in all its varieties lol Sick/physical hurt/ mental anguish lol
The last thing Dean remembered was Sam’s thin voice climbing over the roar of the Chevy. “What did I do?”
Aw that last part made me feel for the poor little guy.
That was awesome and I was so with Dean wanting John to just take them and go before Val got her hands on Sammy again lol
… okay I’m gonna go another chapter before I have to anbandon for the day to make sure the puppy doesn’t think I’ve abandoned her lol
| LovinJackson chapter 4 . 8/14/2009
The thing about living in Chesterhill was that no matter who they asked, no one was ever able to tell them who Chester was.
This made me laugh hehe
Instead he found himself clinging to the small act and stuffing it silently away in a place inside that he didn’t even realize that he had made until now.
The realization suddenly made him nauseous.
This makes me so sad *cries*
…had to have known about their mother’s past. Her parents suddenly murdered, the remembrance of his neck snapping at the hands of her father. What reasons could she have given to explain all of that?
I wonder about this. I don’t think she told him what really happened. I don’t think he knew about hunters or the supernatural until that night. But then I wonder what DID she tell him to explain what happened to her parents … and him. Wish we could find that one out. You should ask someone at Creation in November lol
“And you remember a fence?”
Funny the little things that you remember for one reason or another hehe
She seemed so real. Full of human wants and needs
Now I’m even more curious lol
WOW that scene with Val and her trying to kill little Sammy? Intense! I was on the edge of my seat, seriously!
Oh Nice cliffy to end with … my mind was screaming for Dean to get back over there and save Sam’s lanky ass! … and onto the next one …
| LovinJackson chapter 3 . 8/14/2009
He kicked off his boots and wiggled his toes, releasing with it a much needed sigh of relief.
Y’know? That is always the best feeling when you have been out all day and you come home and take your shoes off and walk around barefoot … well I think so anyways lol
Don’t smoke. Don’t do drugs. Don’t exorcise demons with your mind. Try crossword puzzles instead.
Hehe, Loved Sam’s inner ramblings here
Dean woke frantically with a strangled gasp caught in his throat.
This whole “nighttime/going to sleep” scene was awesome. It was so in Sam’s head and I could totally picture everything so clearly, especially with Dean trying to get comfortable. Very Cool!
The one that ended in a really important need to know right-the-fuck-now answer.
I adored the end scene of IMTOD with Dean and John but yeah a couple more seconds of NEED to know explanation wouldn’t have killed him lmao But that’s John for ya lol
John’s head whipped around and he caught the tail end of Dean’s little body scrambling off the floor and down the hallway with John on his heels behind him.
The pure emotion he felt when he was in the demon’s presence was unearthly. There were no words.
I like that you wrote this ;) That’s definitely the impression I get when Dean is in Alastair’s presence ;)
Dean closed his eyes as he turned the knob to the bedroom door. It was hard to hold on down there. It was hard to get off the rack. It was hard to say no and harder to say yes. It was hard to remember why. Sometimes he thought he forgot certain things. Like how to be a man.
Ohh I really liked this passage! REALLY.
I feel so for him when its made obvious he cant read Sam like he use to and not only that? But he’s not even certain what’s truth and what’s not. I always thought back in Metamorphasis that Dean seemed so much more hurt that Sam had felt he had to lie to him than what he’d actually found out. I mean sure he was pissed about that too and scared because of what Cas said but the lying was a big thing to handle.
I love how this is building. I’m gonna try and get another chapter in now while I have the chance hehe