Reviews for Affliction
LovinJackson chapter 4 . 8/14/2009
The thing about living in Chesterhill was that no matter who they asked, no one was ever able to tell them who Chester was.

This made me laugh hehe

Instead he found himself clinging to the small act and stuffing it silently away in a place inside that he didn’t even realize that he had made until now.

The realization suddenly made him nauseous.

This makes me so sad *cries*

…had to have known about their mother’s past. Her parents suddenly murdered, the remembrance of his neck snapping at the hands of her father. What reasons could she have given to explain all of that?

I wonder about this. I don’t think she told him what really happened. I don’t think he knew about hunters or the supernatural until that night. But then I wonder what DID she tell him to explain what happened to her parents … and him. Wish we could find that one out. You should ask someone at Creation in November lol

“And you remember a fence?”

Funny the little things that you remember for one reason or another hehe

She seemed so real. Full of human wants and needs

Now I’m even more curious lol

WOW that scene with Val and her trying to kill little Sammy? Intense! I was on the edge of my seat, seriously!

Oh Nice cliffy to end with … my mind was screaming for Dean to get back over there and save Sam’s lanky ass! … and onto the next one …
LovinJackson chapter 3 . 8/14/2009
He kicked off his boots and wiggled his toes, releasing with it a much needed sigh of relief.

Y’know? That is always the best feeling when you have been out all day and you come home and take your shoes off and walk around barefoot … well I think so anyways lol

Don’t smoke. Don’t do drugs. Don’t exorcise demons with your mind. Try crossword puzzles instead.

Hehe, Loved Sam’s inner ramblings here

Dean woke frantically with a strangled gasp caught in his throat.

This whole “nighttime/going to sleep” scene was awesome. It was so in Sam’s head and I could totally picture everything so clearly, especially with Dean trying to get comfortable. Very Cool!

The one that ended in a really important need to know right-the-fuck-now answer.

I adored the end scene of IMTOD with Dean and John but yeah a couple more seconds of NEED to know explanation wouldn’t have killed him lmao But that’s John for ya lol

John’s head whipped around and he caught the tail end of Dean’s little body scrambling off the floor and down the hallway with John on his heels behind him.

Oops lol

The pure emotion he felt when he was in the demon’s presence was unearthly. There were no words.

I like that you wrote this ;) That’s definitely the impression I get when Dean is in Alastair’s presence ;)

Dean closed his eyes as he turned the knob to the bedroom door. It was hard to hold on down there. It was hard to get off the rack. It was hard to say no and harder to say yes. It was hard to remember why. Sometimes he thought he forgot certain things. Like how to be a man.

Ohh I really liked this passage! REALLY.

I feel so for him when its made obvious he cant read Sam like he use to and not only that? But he’s not even certain what’s truth and what’s not. I always thought back in Metamorphasis that Dean seemed so much more hurt that Sam had felt he had to lie to him than what he’d actually found out. I mean sure he was pissed about that too and scared because of what Cas said but the lying was a big thing to handle.

I love how this is building. I’m gonna try and get another chapter in now while I have the chance hehe

Tara x0x
LovinJackson chapter 2 . 8/11/2009
Hey :) I’m back. Busy crazy week so these could be sporadic but I will get through all twelve chapters. I promise :)

“You guys… got big!” he bellowed.

I LOVED this line. His reaction to the boys walking in and the fact that he recognised the Winchester in them? I’ve always said the show did great in casting the Winchesters lol Just adored that line :)

BTW, I like that you had Dean look around, taking in all that is the same and all that is different in not just the bar but in Jeff and Ben. It really helps set the mood and tone of the time that has passed :)

Okay so now you have me curious on who it was that Ben was talking about that told him about John. And I loved the little continued reminders of their state like Dean’s hands shaking … I’ll just continue reading lol

… Wow! I just kept reading and didn’t realise I had gotten to the end so fast LOL I got totally enthralled with this!

I was pleased to meet Val and I enjoyed the interactions between her and Ben, her and John and all the kids. The conversation gave me chills with all the questions about Sam and eyes. Now I’m really, REALLY curious about where this story is headed.

Cant wait to see what happens next but for now I think I need sleep so I don’t accidentally sleep in tomorrow like I did this morning. Well done! And I look forward to reading more tomorrow when work allows :D

Tara x0x
LovinJackson chapter 1 . 8/9/2009
Look! I'm finally here ... well the first chapter anyway :0 But it's a start :) ...

Jeff smirked. “I can see that, shit-head. I mean, what are we waiting for?”

Such a Brother response hehe

“Funky-ass car. Big, black old Chevy. Got mud all over it.”

HA! I knew it was a Winchester

“John. Winchester.” He said it like he had never been more proud of anything else in his entire life.

I really liked this line.

Sammy’s sick … the meeting was really good and sweet. I can just picture Johnny with two child size growths attached to his side. I loved the way Jeff and Ben scrambled around as soon as they saw the boys too.

He yawned heavily. He felt his jaw click shut and the water quickly come and go to his eyes. He needed sleep.

Nice explanation here :)

But Dean wouldn’t believe him even if it was.

This is such a true sentiment from when this story was set. It makes me sad that they got to that y’know? But then when your continually lied to you can’t be any other way really, I guess.

Dean smiled. It was petty. Still felt good to get under his brother’s skin, though.

I do love that boy lmao

A smile smirked across Dean’s face. He wanted to pull off onto the side of the road and take his foot and kick his brother out the door. Tell him to go take a hike. Call up that bitch Ruby and catch a ride with her on her flying broomstick. Knowing Sam, though that’s probably exactly what he wanted, too.

You know? I imagine him feeling exactly like this. Even if it wasn’t truly what he wanted. I know I have felt similar in obvious difference circumstances with my own brother and various members of my family … and that’s nothing compared to what these idjits are going through hehe I like how you have his head in this ;)

He reached next to his hip

*takes a moment to think about Dean’s hip* Sorry, I’ll continue now …

Dean figured he’d probably have a better time there anyway.

Oh Dean … *hugs him*

Now that I have finally had the chance to sit and read something and give it the attention it deserves I am hooked. I am going to look forward to reading this :) You’ll here from me again but for now? I must get back to work :) Well done and I cant wait to read more of this :)

Tara x0x
youthere chapter 12 . 7/25/2009
Yay! More grave digging... :-D

Okay, you've completely creeped me out with Angel's body. That is just seriously... unheimlicht.

The "Eddie Munster" thing reminds me of the comment Dean made about Madison in 'Sex and Violence'. That one really stopped my heart. Just a thoughtless, effortless throwaway comment and so fcking cruel. It felt like a mini illustration of the changes in their relationship, like a perfect "after" moment.

I like how the fight is kind of sluggish, harsh and real but still with a lot more emotion than full on violence. More like very fucked up communication than a fight.

"...Everything hurt. Everything stung. Everything lit on fire. Everything was resting on his shoulders and his entire world dangled from his hand and Dean knew right then – he knew he could do this." Really like this connection between the figure of speech and the actual situation. Also, yay Dean! Go get your groove back! :-D

"He felt his eyes burn with tears that had been building for a lifetime." -Wow, that's a lot said in one sentence.

I really enjoyed this one. It felt dark without getting melodramatic, just low key and gritty. And even more intricate than usual... nice! I always love reading your OCs, they and their worlds are so well fleshed out and have such important roles. This story felt like it was just as much about the Timmons' as it was about the Winchesters. And damn if I'm not just a little bit in love with Val :)
youthere chapter 11 . 7/24/2009
I really like how Sam reacts to Ramona here, kinda echoes John's reaction earlier.

"No. She could have done it then. And Sam realized that she was murdered so she wouldn’t have the chance someday to do what Val had."- Huh, that never occurred to me. Do you reckon she would have?

"...Slowly, he turned his neck a few inches, his eyes skating to the empty space under the bed. Yellow eyes smiled back...”

- Woman! Are you trying to give me nightmares? This was like my nr 1 phobia when I was staying over at friends' of relatives' and I'd have to sleep on the floor.

Dean kept a solid nod going.- *sniggers*

Cool complication, both Val and Angel being around. Who's following whom? Who wants what?

Ben's a colossal ass, but kinda understandable. And I kinda like him. Can't believe you've made me like a complete fckng asshole. But he does have point. It would really rankle someone who's lost their family that Sam and Dean get to call do over. Everybody does get to loose. - "What makes the two of you so goddamned special?”

I really like both his "love is never enough" speeches. Well, the speech and the reiteration.

"Sam shifted next to his brother. Dean could feel an energy building. It was an energy he felt when he knew something evil was coming. When he knew the bad guy was blowing into town and everyone had better grab their salt guns and holy water.

This time that energy was rolling off of Sam."- really like this.

“He sealed a deal with that son of a bitch with a kiss.”- Hell, that's a low blow! He does have a point, though. If this IS how you seal deals with demons... :-/
youthere chapter 10 . 7/24/2009
" ...before he had time to react, he was on his back staring up at gray skies with yellow eyes." - WTF? That's a cool little jolt at the end of the silent contemplative mood. And yellow eyes and grey skies- nice visual.

The way you describe Ramona is very... tangible, gives such a strong sense of her physical presence. I can hear her moving when I read, almost smell her. Actually, I can almost feel my own cartilage cracking- ouch. It kinda brings back the times I've worked with handicapped people and in hospitals... I'm guessing you aren't pulling this out of thin air, huh?:-P

“I’m not aiming at you, dipshit.”- Damn! Sam's a friggin' genius. But kinda vicious these days. Loved that he actually pulled the trigger.

"Ben and Jeff exchanged silent looks at one another following them up with a series of head ticks and eyebrow raises.

"Oh, come on!" Dean yelled."- *sniggers* How Dean!

I like Sam in this story. He's a very nice mix of the new powerhouse hunter, complete with superbrain and then glimpses of the old freaked out, vunerable Sam from the earlier seasons. It's very nicely done how this job hits him.
vonnie836 chapter 12 . 7/1/2009
Wow, I feel pretty stupid right now. For some reason I didn't get the alert for the last chapter and because life through me a loop, I somehow never checked on it, just kept wondering what happened and where you disappeared to. So now I finally checked and here it is. And it is so absolutely perfect for the ending.

So they dig Angel up and find him intact as if he just died and his eyes are yellow. To see how shocked Sam is and how it just really breaks him. And then Val makes a last attempt to kill Sam before she goes with her Angel. This one was close and to see how Dean fights to save his brother, how he just pulls, not even realizing that he's done it, that shows how much Sam means to him. On the other hand Sam is broken but he also realizes that he needs a big brother more than a superhero and that although they have changed, they are still brothers.

I hope you have something else up your sleeve and will writing again soon. Hugs, Vonnie
gidgetgal9 chapter 12 . 6/8/2009
Can I just say from experience - that writing Season four is hard. I'm working on a story right now in this time frame and man, I'm so conflicted- I don't like the separation between the boys.

I must say you captured that well here without leaning towards one boy being right over the other and that's a hard feat.

The ending to this was perfect, I love how you captured the angst on both boys parts and in this you did bring them a tad closer which is all one can hope for during this time period.

Loved it! :0)
gidgetgal9 chapter 11 . 6/8/2009
I started this chapter right after reading chapter 10 but real life butted in. So I printed it and started on it three times before I finally got the time to read it through. It was worth the wait and the benefit of having to wait- I didn't have to wait to read the next chapter! This is wonderful! :0)
Madebyme chapter 12 . 6/8/2009
So here's a sad little admission from me to you, I have this thing that I do to delay the inevitable end of a season and that is not to watch the last episode until just before the new one begins. I've done it with the whole of Supernatural and a few other shows too. But this year I'm breaking it. I delayed reading this chapter for as long as could (albeit not very long) simply because I didn't want it to end. I've enjoyed reading your story so much and have relied on your fabulous writing to entertain my supernatural fanfiction craving that now I feel sad to say goodbye.

Saying all of that, it was a perfect end. Loose ends were tied and we had plenty of nail-biting drama (great cliff-hanger - ha ha) and action and even a small tentative re-union between the boys which showed that all is not lost but that also that things are far from perfect - fitting wonderfully into canon.

Your writing was incredibly detailed and I had no problem visualising the cemetery and Val and Angel’s ghosts reuniting and going up in flames Supernatural style! The cliff-hanging scene was an ingenious way of giving Dean back some of his fight and self belief and I really enjoyed that section. But honestly the whole thing was just what I wanted, it hit all my spots!

The end tone was spot on, both brothers still lost and hurt but somehow knowing that they're there for each other. I really hope that you're planning to continue writing, your stories are always well thought out with great plots and fabulous characterization. I'd be more than happy to read anything you offer. It's a been pleasure to meet you and you're right it's a great thing to meet, bond and share this show with others. Take care and thank you so much for sharing, Abbi.x
carocali chapter 12 . 6/4/2009
What a nail-biting finish! I so wish a conversation like this would have happened instead after Sex and Violence. Things would have gone a completely different way. You helped the boys realize that what they needed more than anything was family and each other.

Fantastic job! You should be very proud!


TraSan chapter 12 . 6/4/2009
Wicked ending! I loved this story, girl. Beautiful insight into the brothers and they're fractured (but not broken) bond.
TraSan chapter 8 . 6/3/2009
I am so far behind in reading and you post so quickly and I just flew through 8 chapters of this delicious story hoping I could get caught up tonight. Alas, I'm old and I own't make it. :)

Great story, Amy! I've loved every chapter and I'm very much looking forward to reading the rest.
Vampyvii chapter 12 . 6/3/2009
Aww - What a magnificent ending to an absolutely wonderful story! - The way you intertwined the music throughout was just beautiful, and I just loved all the angst ;-) -Again, I have to say how happy I am that I, well, happened upon this story - And that I met you, in turn!
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