|Reviews for Listen to Your Heart|
| GrimlockX4 chapter 1 . 6/28/2011
I loved the ending where Fox made up to Krystal. :)
| FarlanderXen chapter 1 . 10/12/2010
for one sword i agree with you sry pen
| The Broken Wolf chapter 1 . 12/18/2009
Touching. I see the same thing a dozen times a day, but it always manages to be touching.
Do tell Pen to shut up. :p
| Alyssacookie chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
-added to favorites list-
| Mike Prower the Fox chapter 1 . 8/6/2009
Like every other one of your fics that I've read, excellent. However, songfics tend to get a bit annoying. Mind dialing it down a bit?
| Tempest of Reach chapter 1 . 5/23/2009
Not bad, notbad at all... AT LEAST I CAN READ IT NOW!
| Dark Balto chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
Cute story!And I LOVE cute stories!..Keep it up!And here!(a card with 40 credits)...for Sord to get her Arwing...though i prefer the Wolfens myself...
| sonicguy136 chapter 1 . 5/5/2009
...there wasn't one bit of fox or krystal in there...
| Jaslazul chapter 1 . 5/4/2009
Ohai, I didn't realize that you were the author of "Listen to Your Heart" until I'd finished reading this... what's up with that? Anyway...
So, this fic was alright. I liked the perspective, how it seems to keep in relatively the same point the entire time (although it did switch to omniscient and one point, and that seemed kind of out of place). You have a pretty strong sense of diction, and a good internal pace with the paragraphs.
My main complaint is that the prose spent a lot of time dawdling on things that are unnecessary or already known; we already know that Slippy needs help a lot and functions better as a mechanic than a pilot and that Peppy functions as a father figure (and even if we didn't, the rule of show, don't tell would apply here, though it would make this fic much longer), and some of the smaller scenes could be omitted (but I suppose that could interfere with the lyrics[?], meh).
On the grammar side, I didn't catch anything too bad. There was a tense error (which I'll get to later), a nonexistant verb conjugate (use "hanged", not "hung"), and a lot of "said" bookisms, and, again, the bookisms aren't really grammatical mistakes. They're more stylistic, I guess.
I like the use of italics. It seems like too many people godmode and put giant FLASHBACK tags in the middle of their story, as if a difference in formatting couldn't do it on its own. Be careful that you use past tense when you use flashback italics, though; I remember at least one point where you slipped into past-perfect tense where it didn't seem to be required, which is a redundancy with the italic text that already marks it as being out of the usual chronological order.
Anyway... I always go way too in-depth with these things. Good luck with whatever you're working in the future.
| Decoy-Dragon chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
I agree with sword
| SchmEthan chapter 1 . 5/3/2009
Not bad at all. I liked the way Krystal just needed something as simple as the truth from Fox to know that she was wanted
But yeah, AWESOME ONE!
| VENOMDARK again chapter 1 . 5/2/2009
oh oh do a kattxfalco story i like love stories
| VENOMDARK call me venom chapter 1 . 5/2/2009
aw that was sweet 5/5 my man _-
| The Villain chapter 1 . 5/2/2009
Okay, first of all... Sword has hands? Never would've known...
But beyond that, it was great. I don't know alot about the StarFox series, so I can only hope you portray it properly. But keep up the good work.
I enjoy the witty banter you, Sword, and Pen share. I can't put into words why I do, but I do.