Reviews for 1923, The Only Fault
darkdoomhoney chapter 1 . 8/7
This killed me. T_T
jmtothemusic chapter 1 . 5/6
That was so depressing and so amazing at the same time. I was reading the beautiful scene with the wine and grinning like a moron while listening to "La Vie En Rose"- you set the mood perfectly in every scene btw. I shed a tear when Roy confessed he'd abandon her for Ed. Beautifully written, tragic, and quite the creative story. This was a treasure I wasn't expecting! I truly was not expecting to learn so much about love, loss, and the past in one night, and I feel different somehow after reading this. You truly have a gift. Thank you, and never stop writing. :D
Terry chapter 1 . 4/28
Heartwrenching, but very very well done.
Karen chapter 1 . 3/14
Oh goshhhh
Such a beautiful story
So sweet at the beginning and heart breaking in the end
I just noticed this was made on 2009...and it was 6,7 years ago and you already made such a beautiful story that time
I do hope at one point edward would be selfish but if he does...he wont be edward we know right
Care to make another one like this pleaseee
I really love how you write and all the emotions in here ~~~
Ash N Brock chapter 1 . 2/2
This is one of the best fics out there! I'm so happy to have come across this one.
I love your delicate writing style, how you convey tender moments, how each sentence is wrapped in emotion. It's so delicate. I really enjoyed how you didn't spell everything out for the reader - that there were elements that were implied and not everything was explicitly explained. The POV was good and a welcome change. The change in "tempo" - not sure out to describe it - with shorter sentences and then longer ones was also great :). The flashbacks were interspersed well too!

I really loved the build-up and suspense to Ed falling in love, how he manages his emotions and tries to control them but then they get the better of him. I also liked how you built up to their sex scenes, especially since they were tastefully done, and again a lot is left to the reader's imagination. I thought that you cleverly avoided the clichéd "angry break-up", and wrote something that was far deeper and much more touching, and I felt that Ed & Al's reactions were rather in character.

As regards the ending, I was so sad and I love that this story made me upset. How the reader "spirals" with Edward, following his emotions and desires, and so when they're dashed for him, we can only join him in his dejection. Even though I would have loved a happy ending I think the ending is perfect as it is: touching, bittersweet, real life. Ed free of his love, which is wonderful for him, but Roy is not free and unhappy (that's how I read it); and the last poem is wonderful, a summary of both of their feelings including those of potentially Amestris Roy.

Have you thought of writing a similar story, perhaps a kind of "sequel", where Ed & Al manage to make it back to Amestris and Ed can finally be happy with his love? (I know, wishful thinking on my part!) I guess the great thing about this story is that I'm left thinking, "what if Roy had seen him in the café?", "what if Ed & Al made it back?" and just aching for it to happen.

Top story, you're a great writer and looking forward to reading more of your work. Phew, gonna round it up, this is a long review!
Kennygirlgreen chapter 1 . 12/23/2015
This messed me up man. But it was beautiful
Green Comb chapter 1 . 9/15/2015
I'm rereading this and I'm thinking "it's that story isn't it" but I can't stop reading it because it's just so beautifully written and it just pulls me into Ed's emotions and I just end up blubbering at the end again. Its so bittersweet and filled with "what ifs" and amazing.
Thank you for writing this story.
Amestri chapter 1 . 8/24/2015
God I just can't stop crying, all of this was just incredible.
The end is sad, of course, but far more realistic than what you can read nowadays.
Wish the could be more stuff like this one on this website.
Luxuria Vanagloria Azzarox chapter 1 . 7/18/2015
/sobs
/bawls
/depressingly eats chocolate ice cream

WHY?!
SennoTsubasa chapter 1 . 2/19/2015
I SAW THAT COMING! I SO TOTALLY SAW THE ANGST! YOU WERE SETTING IT ALL UP! I COULD LITERALLY FEEL THE FORESHADOWING YOU DID...SOMEWHERE. and i was so hoping for a happy ending. but yeah, anyways, thank you for making me bawl my eyes out. thank you. it was gorgeous. enviously so. i hope that i will be able to write at you level one day. and i absolutely ADORE the second person. I've come across a few before, but they were awful and you've most likely ruined second person prose forever for me since none will compare. anyways. thank you. for bringing this into the world, just... thank you.
Angsty Magee chapter 1 . 2/2/2015
...I want to review, but I have nothing adequate to say. Brilliant? I...fuck.
Anon chapter 1 . 1/9/2015
Oh my god. So incredibly well written, captivating & heartbreaking. Bravo.
Birds Love Words chapter 1 . 1/7/2015
This was perfect. Your second person voice captured me perfectly; it didn't feel dictatorial, it felt like and immersion into Ed's life. As I'm sure you know, this story was heartbreaking and bittersweet, just as you intended it to be.

I appreciate the realism in this piece. The fact that Ed and Roy could not salvage their relationship was a nice change of pace from the wishy-washy feel-good fics that populate this site. Moreover, I actually appreciate that Roy married Lilian Vanderbilt (as odd as that sounds). It simply wasn't practical for any man - even a man of extreme wealth and prominent stature - to carry on a happy, lenghty, near-public relationship with another man in the 1920s. It simply would not have happened. For the sake of realism, I'm glad that you didn't use the excuse of Roy's power and money acting as a shield against public opinion, because in real life, those things would have only made his relationship with Ed more scandalous. Thank you. I also appreciate that he takes other lovers on the side because he sees Ed in them. Just as it is not practical for a gay man in the 1920s to have a permanent homosexual relationship, it is not practical for him to deny his true nature and become heterosexual.

On to more disturbing things: I think your work is being slightly plagiarized. Just previous to reading your fic, I read "Catalysis" by Teh Twinnesses Presents, and found the link to your profile page through the author's favorites section. I recognized phrases in Catalysis stolen wholesale right from your story; they took the general form of your story - Catalysis used quotes to separate between sections, and even stole the general outline of your characters, such as Roy being a rich, successful businessman, and Ed being treated to niceties on Roy's behalf. I don't know whether this is intentional or whether it is an unconscious effort to mimic an excellent piece, but it disturbs me that a story published a month after yours would be so identical. Since your story was published first and is of much higher quality than the other piece, I felt you should know that someone is possibly monopolizing on your brilliance. I say possibly because the fic does contain elements of individuality such as a focus on political/societal relations and the usage of alchemy, but the overarching themes seem to be taken from your work. I just thought you should know, because it would be a pity if a great work like this was overshadowed by a copycat.
SilverWhiteDragon chapter 1 . 11/18/2014
Omg, that was so good but so sad D:
Lo7 chapter 1 . 8/5/2014
Wow! Beautifully written.
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