The author of this has a very funny and snarky sense of humor and I'm only on the first chapter. This is great.

I loved it so much. Thank you.

This was fab, thank you

AWESOME ! Cool little novella ;) Thanks so much for sharing it on here for us ;D

I loved it! Thank you:)

I'm laughing my butt off already!
I saw this recc'd on TwiFanFictionRecs for a fic that is a quick read.
Bella's got my humor. :)

This was a truly delightful fic, original yet most of it was in character. I loved your references to the movies and books. I love your sense of humour too. All in all, I enjoyed this fic more than I enjoyed any in the last while, thank you.

I have just read the chapter with grandma’s story and I am a puddle of goo on the floor... beautiful writing.

I’m a bit surprised by how much I love this story. Your writing is excellent, I love the dark humor and how you wrote the characters. Wonderful wonderful job! Thank you for this unique and awesome take on Twilight. I would definitely love any future takes if you’re up for it! ;)

14.
Bitten by moonlight
then suddenly noticed how handsome he was my lips did not move ten suddenly from my brain three each blackig out then myself Do you remember What I Have taught you Imzadi can you still sense my thoughts a strangest alien burst of energy then felt from him a strange alien arrow pierced our hearts then a strangest alien thing kissed him hardest then was in love the popped it caused me using my nwborn superstrength they the growling to mate better with clothes on was on fire to seduce him then was too late the phase was back then too late marked him s my husband then like a Werewolf gazed in his eyes by Premamently imprinting on him the guard god you die Freaks with they ripped into pieces hen then to ey the two young ones then Dying then good who marked him then then Dismantle her/hr mate/they then Executed then too late was so sick he suffering mono body aches and feverish and was going to phase one second eyes had a gold ring good revealed s a Lycan then Killed wit aliens/Vulcans blood bonded them the two next good then too late Destroyed the three we next with both others good brought there Alice who did to her she was attacked Help me she marked me as her husband oh my god you ok myself was so sick screaming god Pain the take care of her then Dismantled with they then as killed good brought them good with they what phased good they broke law of her/him/they ripped them into pieces ripped from here it was too late the doctors had bad new was already deceased of it of both gasp then the damages as real then was weaken then but nuked blown up then blew from here gasp Alice she has very toned muscles oh my god the chained from here torn head-cords-three then both stole my humanity/theirs but brought there good Rip them apart then Atomized by vaporizing good then too late then Both burning good they broken the rule they are Deceased myself had a headache so pounding focusing my mind then violently training myself as controlled so they shooting a light held a ward You'r sushi daimons long hair with bangs cropped then began chanting in Tibetan and Japanese dialects and languages and a alien planetary symbol flynig the hair with bangs roars onto my forehead then too late was in fact a nomad converted as a very strict Vegetarian gasp she's what Immortal had no rival then suddenly my hand from my bodysuit from NASA was glowing a Sword held it raised like MacLoud Duncan so they with his was not mortal looked 17 was in fact 65-148 years old never died was Eternal longest living oh my god then felt from the moon was full to his then nuked freely they but brought there good what not mortal rip them hardest the lost from here then it really happened my accent changed to Gaelic sounded Irish gasp who did to her Volturi she's not human can't die by now looks young then The arrow of poison he and I Felt drawn to each other pierced too strongest poisonous romance then crossed swords then Kissed for healing then a strange alien healing love and compassion that myself was in heat for him was into phase wanted him badly the as in love with my new mate then get a room ugh gross ew then then the gods/goddess made us/them mated couples wore Sailor guardian rings vowing alliance oh man Bella yes you imprinted on me oh my god the Earth is stopped moving shut up and kiss me imzadi urgh that is very romantic Get a room Bro cut it out you are grossing us out she is kissing him she is Mated can't she is my mate gasp oh my god Carlisle she is not normal what it means Beloved it's Betazoid she is in love with him for eternity bonded for life then too late our courtship was going Starfleet strong you know really you are handsome I Find you cultured me then too late was so beautfiul then tired the in the morning was healed faster then phew it sweeting rch from them ay caramba what is that aroma then myself was madly in more love with him was permamently love arrows a shot from here caused me/him to fall madly more in deeper in romance was still mated had a intimate love affair he was with me if in a Sailor Moon manga.

14,. Chapter 14 Attackd by moon lkight then suddenly As all of alien rattlesnaks dried us/them from Field trip to La push blood bonded the Tpack graced them hair cuts then then diets liests for v clothes then to kids/toddlerds to aliens/Vulcans taught us/army chained then Infected by Werewolf blood shared but sborbed with both good who turned you myself ws feoling weird the forehead was glowing focusing my powers take care of that they surrendered then Fire then then suddenly you'r sushi demon Burning good ouds then injected wiyth the same experimented by Augmenting then brain surgeries train them the guard dogs Nothingness woke alone with no human memories wearing a Vulcan insane Aslyum robes the one broke law rip her/they then Sexually asasulted by telepathically mind rapingg tore three first death was permamenbtly immortal like Macloud Duncan good where you newborns are leaving then Scars as all of themn with as all injected from here good then Screaming then too late the medics found me dead but underweight was scarred with anmesia killed them good them the you die freaks them Abused but hurt then too later taken from me blew up burn them the found by the Three howling was out of control was sick so hurt then then used my powers on them to heal her and Earth oh my god chained we found you newborns Execution of us/they with they both taken from here Brought there good they ae what not mortals burn them there then too late Carlisled found the source was poisoned oh ,my god she's Crystalizing into as all of it is sparkling in to diamonds let us help you Ow then myself was far too strong for a newborn then nuked freely with they from husks poisoned vanished then it really happened good deceased from here then from animal blood from both Aalice some overfillijg her sikin oh my god long hsasir reall you mind-melded me is Telepathic by touch gasp she's gifted then in time who lost twelve pounds was more toned athletic healthier on a strict diet pointed ears upswept eyebrows oh my god they were killed but murdered they can't die she's Vegetarian oh no Bella lost color of her skin is paler but lighter Then found Edward handsome bold gallant brave sexy but powerful but a flirt a womanizing Vampire the pull was real arrows of true lover healing me and him pierced shot hearts throbbing in passion then suddenly found myself horny aroused gone in the phase beautfiul drop dead in what from The NASA Bodysuit suddenly finally Imprinted on him then Kissed him harder then then a icy but firey heat then Popped freely with they too late vanished around the world then too late vanished with 500 nations too late extinct to remains good what phased good they are dead then burn them to both are ashes and dust then blew as all of them then suddenly felt from me then from his human life the mine to theirs what no longer mortals then As all of them in time Carlisle they did to her/they myself spoken the betrothal oath acting like T'Pel was Tuvok's wife as the Dawn of our days from of our tomorrows as from the time of the beginning to you my husband it so shall be will contrate and take from me now take me Husband I Am your mate and wife wearing thy ring of bondage myself gazed in his eyes my wholliest planet stopped moving suddenly a burning fiery whirlwind of galactic energy suddenly throbbing then he knew what to do You imprinted on me yes then you ok then keep my mother's ring wife then too late that for them speak this from here What is Bells tell us We have mated see this on my finger gasp as my Jinag have taken him as my husband swore a Klingon marriage oath saying in Klingonese oh my god we brought you three then too late nuked from here god bring them to as all of they are trapped aboard then too late ripped apart see revealed things are deported but both blown up with they good moe Volturi guads then lost rom here too late Lost as all of blood hen nuked from here what phased good dead then too late Murdered then it really happened they all of them mated from here then good a feast then they are on Vulcan she's not human so they.

Wonderful story. Thank you.

This was an amazing story! The humor, the pacing, the original plot... I loved every chapter!

This was hilarious from start to finish!

The first Bella I've seen taking the lead in the 15 years since I first read Twilight.
Good stuff.

Your pacing and writing style are really cool. Hope to find other pieces of your work!

Read this again after years. I had it bookmarked as a "favorite." It still holds up. At first I thought the story was going a bit fast before I realized that the beginning with saving Rosalie obviously couldn't be the whole story. I loved the clever snark and the way you developed your character of Bella.