14. Bella's alien heritage/weird origins
that Myself never hum held a tree bark emerged a half of Buffy Anne Summers was the Vampire slaying hunter was a Chosen one alien rattlesnake fangs bite ABest friends alien venom then to Young ones good laws broken what are you freak pai tortured But raping mind broke mangling bodies them blew torte heads brought the Taken human it the alien venom was real venom gasp CARLISLE Then it happened woken up different but not living was undead good Pain writhing good tore hair from Herter cut it so theirs blew up Nothingness yours blew up freely beheaded brought there good with them blood diluting venom is real Blown up freely finally did out without souls drain blew up bitten twin bites Fell freely taken last breath good Torn heads with witnessed wight Aliens good punished freely blew up Freely Severing freely good Threw in the fire in flames in pieces loss of blood then Alice she was tortured/raped so best friends/young ones my throat hurts it is burning us We can't let you go home in your state blew upon so young ones with them Aliens/Vulcans from Homes/Theirs each five/more last ones vanished into the NASA Bodysuits with International movie ones bought shopping ones freely Sliced freely good Did out lack of blood blew up freely never saved blew hordes then it happened Biggest holes vanish see fourteen die then blew up freely myself wanted justice real ones gasp was not mortals Alice she is the Vampire slayer as Hunter and assassin then cured but healing but recovering but weas not humans gasp how they exist what are Yayu a Lighter golden in the eyes She's gifted then you slay Vampires it is your destiny the chosen one so the nuking Pierced felly brought there then Good not humans blown hordes freely in as all of bites From snakes very far of them good in pieces then tore freely Blew up freely tore in pieces ashes then it happened was Not mortals blew atomizing but vaporizing good with them with three/imprints vanished good dead vanished loss of them good Never return freely from here aboard freely with five/items not anymore died out finally vanished freely what not there good hordes of it good what not mortals threw in the flames myself was so hurt bitter was cold and harsher bitter but logical but was void of emotions hair in rings but fiery curliest swirls with bangs grew back wearing clips Had pointed ears of a Coyote austere thin straight slanted eyebrows wearing from Star Trek 3 the Search for Spock was a Twenty-third century Starfleet uniform with the rank of Lieutenant badge belt and as aloft it Alice She looks like Lieutenant Saavik of Vulcan then sighted a vessel then too soon Bella who done to you them they cause it from here too soon myself held a box snapping wide open finally Proposed these words Spock will you marry me it is the Customary of our marriage then Edward remembered he was a fan film actor hair grew into a Vulcan bowl cut wore Vulcan ears suddenly too late Admitting our true feelings began courting not human too late saying our betrothal vows over was in fact not mortals suddenly kissed accepting the marriage proposal then it came the rites of our bonding was ancient you two are now bonded in Marriage this pair have imprinted Since she phased gasp Crap Bella daughter of Charles you chosen a husband he is your mated consort gasp she is cosplaying as Saavik a Vulcan/Romulan female oh no then it came never was on Earth but must remain on the planet Vulcan Alice they are arranged in marriage who is she Saavik my wife worn a Nephilim Betrothal necklace with this so myself never was human by now so/ them/ young ones but newspapers was different Freely.

14. Chapter 14, Changed
then Bitten by a agent taken to as city declared a Princess heir to the throne good Agent Dawn Bitten me good Excruciating burning the from here turning sigh experimenting the br0ken heart too late was bitter scads changing the with Alien rattlesnake fangs poking then Bitten best friends/rest of best friends/young kin ones good Drink what venom the then she is eating to sate the first kill tern Ain black robes then Do you Swearer bethrow the law and justice Yes Crown welcome her there the Cullen come back Had power Dead Scream! fell from him lid Head of miner s him/ her best friend thorn Chained arrest then Blown up Freely burn them Alice who turn you Achaian see Carlisle as a princess tourer Head of miner soi his/ term, then aliens/Vulcans Yourselves brought the then Each both hordes vanished good ourselves the took the throne then myself died of the venom, ewes spreading so the Alice she has no memory who are you What Am, I Oh god then the thirst but bloodlust so them gasp had fangs was with Anime Falkor's red eyes was palest extremely paler too more palest was sparkling like this Who created her Dawn you dweeb gasp hissing hated sunlight holy crosses and water oh my gold it as already too late so them/two underwent the change from the locket nukage ass as Daylight necklace gasp it is already your majesty my liege princess oh no my throat then it happened rumors was with a newest family soon them nuking brought the finally taken over from them never humans then it happened wiped freely good then loss of it was not living a fiery side effect Alice Bella stop you are not yourself good spy third Broken hearts blew so Threm/ yourselves then burst freely then it was too late nuking freely three good destroyed freely then good heads feely then too late never was alive then in her cosplay clothes holy Bram Stoker look Ghouls These Werewolves smell like Academy old socks gasp Bella you turned us into like this nose of it your senses altered covered of that stench of Wolves urgh like Lycans Bella you ok Edward these Mongrels stink like Wolfbane oh my god she is behaving differently gasp too late it went too late Had Golden eyes with a dot vanished phased were not humans then lost freely the five each four vanishing then too late did out what phased gifted good they hid her/ him/ them/ three not anymore hordes of it.

I loved this so much. Gran’s story was a great twist!

I've re-read this story over the years - still one of my favorites. Love the witty dialog!

I loved this Bella.

What an absolute gem of a story. So happy I came across it so many years later. Just loved it.

I fucking love this story! Just binged it today. I love quirky Bella with self-esteem issues but less trouble standing up for herself. I love Edward who comes back to her. I love bumblebee Bella and vampire Edward who Esme and Carlisle secretly laugh at. You struck such a great tone and a great balance of using some side characters but keeping the story very focused in 13 chapters. I’ve been reading a lot of Twilight fanfiction recently and this one is the first that didn’t make me cry. Thanks for writing and sharing it with all of us 3

this was absolutely fantastic

The author of this has a very funny and snarky sense of humor and I'm only on the first chapter. This is great.

I loved it so much. Thank you.

This was fab, thank you

AWESOME ! Cool little novella ;) Thanks so much for sharing it on here for us ;D

I loved it! Thank you:)

I'm laughing my butt off already!
I saw this recc'd on TwiFanFictionRecs for a fic that is a quick read.
Bella's got my humor. :)

This was a truly delightful fic, original yet most of it was in character. I loved your references to the movies and books. I love your sense of humour too. All in all, I enjoyed this fic more than I enjoyed any in the last while, thank you.