Reviews for Don't Touch Me
Adrianna Agray chapter 1 . 3/2/2016
I loved how you showed what happened: ) I feel a little bad for Harve now . . . But not as as as if feel for Rachel. It was a fantastic story: )
Harvey haters chapter 1 . 11/25/2015
The next day, Harvey woke up in his room with his head aching from all of the smashing it had taken the day before. He wailed as he felt his head. There were few bandages on his cuts. His doctor had aided to them while he slept and a large breakfast had been prepared by his servants. Harvey walked to his mirror and looked at himself as he ran his hands over his head. It reminded him of yesterday's incident and caused him to grow angry at them. "Good morning, little prince. I have your breakfast, especially prepared for a poor little boy who had a rough day. This is a small feast, prepared just for you, my prince." It was his servant bringing him a grand breakfast. Harvey said nothing, but continued to glare at his head in the mirror wondering if his former friends really thought that about him. "Prince ... Come and get your delicious meal." He took Harvey under his arm and walked him over to the table to sit him down for the meal but Harvey just exploded at the top of his lungs with pure rage. "DON'T EVER TOUCH ME! I DON'T WANT THIS! GET IT OUT OF MY ROOM!" Harvey screamed. "But Harvey, the others and I spent all morning preparing this for you. You looked so tired when you arrived back from yesterday. What happened yesterday, Harvey?" "GET THIS OUT OF HERE!" Ruto motioned for the servants to remove the feast from his chamber. They looked at each other puzzled. One of them began to lift Harvey onto the chair so that he could spoon-feed him. "You love our meals, Harvey." He said as she moved the spoon towards Harvey's mouth. "Here it is comes ... open wide ... just take small little bites–" Harvey knocked the spoon out of his hand. "I SAID TAKE IT AWAY!" His plate was thrown across the chamber. Then he got up on the table and began ruining the food, squashing the fruits, tearing the fish and throwing all of it into the shallow pool below. Soon the table was overturned and he continued to throw food at the servants. They watched in horror as Harvey ruined the feast they had prepared for him. A few hours later another servant arrived at her chamber. "Good day, my prince." Harvey rudely ignored him. "You've made quite a mess. Your parents are unimpressed and they would like you to clean it up. All of it. It is an insult to all who have lived in this chamber before you desecrated it as you have done. It is also an insult your attendants who prepared your breakfast this morning–" "YOU CLEAN IT!" Harvey interrupted. "Your parents have asked to you clean it, my prince. I will not disrespect their wishes, and I know that you won't either. Now get to work." Harvey stuck his tongue out at the servant as he approached the soggy mess in the water now polluted with the foods from his breakfast. He picked up a cantaloupe and threw it at him. "That's quite enough. I will report your disobedience to your parents. Since you're unwilling to follow their orders, I will send a group of my staff to your chamber to have it cleaned for you. They will not be happy with you and nor will your parents. You will now resume your regular duties for the day. Lord Jabu-Jabu is patiently awaiting his meal. Now go to the fountain and prepare it at once!" He departed angrily. Harvey stuck his tongue out again. Harvey had recently begun refusing to do his duty of preparing the daily meals for Lord Jabu-Jabu. Nobody nor nobody else could stand him because of his selfishness and arrogance. A few days ago, Harvey had forgotten to arrive at the fountain to feed Lord Jabu-Jabu. When she came the next day, one of the Zora servants said to her,
"Now, Harvey, you forgot to feed Lord Jabu-Jabu yesterday, and he was very hungry. I had to feed him for you and his meal was three hours late! Try to arrive timely everyday to feed the great lord. You owe your heritage to him and forgetting to feed him is a clear sign of disrespect and directly against orders from your parents." Harvey responded, "I DON'T CARE! NOBODY GIVES ME ORDERS, I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT, BECAUSE I'M A PRINCE AND YOU'RE A STUPID SERVANT!" "That's not very polite, Harvey. Respect is something all people have for each other regardless of their position or title. You should be honored to have this as your duty, my prince." Harvey stuck his tongue out at the servant and went to prepare the meal. She caught two large fish from the water and placed them on a large tray in front of Jabu-Jabu. He glared at him with a stuck-up look and spat at him, "Take it already! I shouldn't even be feeding you. I'm a handsome little prince and you're're just a... big...old, and ugly whale!" He spat at him in disgust and walked away. Harvey, in his growing anger, wanted to get revenge on his former teammates and friends for their disagreement with him.
fictionlover94 chapter 1 . 6/17/2009
This surely explains alot. Thanks for uploading.
Little Miss Novella chapter 1 . 6/17/2009
I always wondered if Harvey was abused or something. I like how you incoperated the fear of touching in here. This is very unique way to see how Harvey really is. Thanks for writing this :) chapter 1 . 5/4/2009
This was truly a beautiful masterpiece.

I never thought Rachel would have such a dyfuntional family like that! I seriously felt for her here.

As for Harvey, it does seem that his spirit broke when his father got a little abusive toward their mother. I used to think he was just a kid put on the wrong side of the tracks when it came to the KND.

All in all, this story was incredible.
Nigel's Leading Woman chapter 1 . 5/4/2009
Faving now. I thought it was an interesting oneshot. Rachel's Mom, even Harvey Mental institution, stat.
Lord Malachite chapter 1 . 5/4/2009
Wow, this was quite an interesting read. I really feel like you put a lot of effort into telling this backstory of the family McKenzie. I like your presentation of the characters-trying to fill out some explanation into Rachel's parents, and making her the narrator in a sad tale that slowly builds up to Harvey's complex. What stands out to me so much is the contrast between the siblings. You did a fabulous job of bringing Rachel's nature to the surface. She copes. When things get bad or dark, she perseveres, she endures, she finds a way to work through it. Harvey is the complete opposite. He breaks down and freaks out. And while Rachel is not without her limits or weaknesses (see the fan favorite Operation: I.T.), she still manages to keep it together. In this explanation, the mental/emotional scars that Harvey is carrying seem to be pretty serious, and I'm not sure if and when he'll ever get over them.

I give you a lot of credit for Rachel's narration, I truly felt it was a thing of beauty, and makes me want to read more. I'd love to see you continue to work with her character, the way you get into her head is truly enjoyable. I hope that you'll consider doing more, as I feel that Numbuh Three Sixty-Two is really giving you a chance to shine.

Lastly, I'm still re-reading your older entries on STARCROSSED, so I haven't gotten around to your updates to it as of yet, but you can count on reviews from me. Hope to see more from you soon!