Reviews for SNAFU
Hummingbird2 chapter 7 . 1/16/2013
That was quite a tale! I can't blame Hogan for still being seriously cheesed after the fact.

Excellent, thank you very much!
Tuttle4077 chapter 7 . 6/15/2012
Hee! I liked it. I guess being super top secret doesn't always pay. Glad the "Incident" didn't permenantly damage the operation.

In one of the earlier chapters, I loved the exchange between Schultz and Hogan. Oh Schultz... I see nothing, I know nothing.

And now... on to the sequel!
IrishDancer chapter 7 . 4/20/2012
I see why this won a Papa Bear. Well done.
IrishDancer chapter 5 . 4/20/2012
!
IrishDancer chapter 2 . 4/20/2012
Nice, very nice.
IrishDancer chapter 1 . 4/20/2012
Good beginning. I don't usually read long stories, but a lot of people have recommended this one. And with Hogan trying to protect need-to-know security, well, you can see where McGraw might get the wrong idea.
snowleopard13 chapter 7 . 2/4/2012
Very good story. I loved the intense moments when Hogan was taken from camp and his men where working around the clock trying to locate him. I'm glad you brought so much humor into the story but all the laughing I'm doing while reading this story is not helping my sore throat out any and I keep rereading the funny parts (I'm glutton for punishment). General Butler reminding Col. Hogan that he is not Col. Klick had me thinking if Hogan was bad before he was captured with his smart remarks what would it be like working with him after the war. I can only imagine and hopefully his superiors will continoue to be understanding but firm with him. :)
Goldleaf83 chapter 7 . 8/4/2011
Great premise. I can so easily see the suspicions of a prisoner who transits quickly through Stalag 13 without being let in on the secret, and those concerns being passed along through the Allied high command – which was a big enough organization that’s it’s quite reasonable they wouldn’t know what was happening in the espionage arm. It’s maybe a little far fetched that they’d try to do something about it with the war still raging, but you nonetheless do a very good job in making believable the steps they take in sending Mo and Larry (oops, Boswell and Garnett!) to check out their possible turncoat. The interactions between the two agents work well, and the set up for interrogating Hogan does too. His suspicions naturally grow as his two questioners depart from the expected Gestapo script (in both their focus and their techniques). The scene where Hogan’s men show up to help the visiting agents and find their colonel there as the “package” to pick up is simply hilarious: very well done! Hogan’s annoyance, both when he gets back to the tunnel trying to figure out what has been going on and his sharpness with London, is vividly sketched and very believable. Overall a very well done story!
inhonoredglory chapter 7 . 5/8/2011
Ah, what a nice ending. An absolute perfect circling back to the beginning, with McGraw coming back to Stalag 13, the -real- Stalag 13. Very interesting that you didn’t have everyone figure out the whole truth, but that’s actually very much like what would have happened in real life. All the mysterious transfers were neat. . . . Poor guys. But love the incorporation of the D-Day episode. My, is your story wonderfully webbed into canon! The Tower of London quip was so funny. Your footnote #2 is so sad, but does that mean General Butler was a real person? I'm not up to speed on my history, unfortunately.

A very well-written story. Love the last sentence of it all fading away, all quiet-like.
inhonoredglory chapter 6 . 5/8/2011
Poor Garrett and Boswell, not knowing their place in the new scheme of things. Love the wording. Also love Newkirk’s reaction to Hogan’s being court-martialed and Hogan’s pleading for Wilson to let him have the coffee. LOL.

And what an intense scene between Papa Bear and Goldilocks. Love the dialogue. Very realistic.

Nice ending with Hogan remembering to thank his men for helping him.
inhonoredglory chapter 5 . 5/8/2011
Rrr! Just when the agents tell the truth, Hogan doesn’t buy it. Well, you can’t blame him. Things looked like they were really going bad for a moment there. Taking Hogan away! But, then, WOW. Carla and the message, the agents telling the Underground, and the Underground telling Hogan’s gang. Oh, when they put two-and-two together! And then the gang meets the agents. . . . Oh, what a twisted web we weave! Everybody’s on the same side and they’re all suspicious of each other. What a mess! And now the tables are turned. Oh boy, are those two agents in a mess now.
inhonoredglory chapter 4 . 5/8/2011
Thanks for the episode references scattered throughout. Really puts your story in perspective with the show. And more importantly, the show in perspective with your story! I love it.

Ah, so cute to see Klink wish Hogan were back. Nice paragraph from Klink’s viewpoint. Also love the scene with Klink and Hotchstetter where the dialogue has no speech tags. I seemed to hear their voices better without them! Smooth insertion of Newkirk’s reaction, as you’ve already established where he is located in reference to Klink and Hotchstetter.

Another great speech-tag-less scene with Hogan under the truth drug. I love the snappy dialogue! Great job. Too bad the truth serum didn’t get the -real- truth out, but if it did, the story would end, and we can’t let that happen :)
inhonoredglory chapter 3 . 5/7/2011
Love the narrative of Hogan’s thoughts in the back seat of the “Gestapo” car. And love the cliffhanger after Hogan figures out they’ve stopped, the narrative cutting to Kinch’s confirmation that the Underground has lost track of the car. Poor Hogan, drugged! But I love the way you showed us he was out, using Boswell’s verbal statement rather than a redundant narrative description.

Uh, do POWs still have wallets? I’m no expert by a mile, but I sort of wondered. The scene of him looking over the room was great otherwise. I think I like the snappy dialogue, spaced by chunks of narrative. And I love the description of him “contemplating” the food. Perfect way to describe us something via verbs, rather than simple narrative declarations.

You know, I’m really in love with your transitions. No mussing about. Like when you left us with Carter’s “Burkhalter hates the Gestapo” then moved straight into Hogan’s point of view again.

And a very interesting irony for the story as a whole – the agents deciding to question the sabotage plans and not the camp behavior. They think the former is not important, but Hogan knows it is, and vice-versa. So ripe for trouble!

Cliffhangers, cliffhangers! That’s what your transitions are. Hogan wondering why Burkhalter would sign the orders, then Kinch figuring out they were forged (also, nice job on a conversation without Burkhalter’s unnecessary dialogue).

LOL, “one ace short of a full deck.” I love that description!

I’m falling in love with this story really fast. Duh, it’s a PBA winner, so go figure :)
inhonoredglory chapter 2 . 5/6/2011
So I decided to write this as a play-by-play reaction to anything that strikes me as I read. Makes it easier and more fun to review ;)

Things sure get interesting in the beginning. Poor Hogan, his tenure as senior POW officer over in these men’s eyes. How much they don’t know! But nice touch of seriousness to have Garrett and Boswell ordered to “take him out” as a last resort. The stakes are rising! And Hogan would definitely not “jump at the chance to get out and go back to his unit.” I’d love to see him tell those two . . .

Oh, dear! Going in as Gestapo to question Hogan on sabotage? Oh, man, this has the making of a high drama. And certainly the making of a huge SNAFU. The cat is so going to get out of the bag.

Great alluding to canon events with the thickening plot – like the burnt propaganda records. Hogan had mentioned they’d be in trouble if they were found out. Love the incorporation.

And now the end . . . . *screams!* Hogan taken prisoner so fast? Poor him! I had to scroll up to make sure this was categorized as “humor.” Poof, snooky, you’ve sure got a way with that “it’s over” feeling. And this is just the second chapter! Your plot mind is superb. Now I can’t wait to see where you’re going to take this next!

And after I calm down after that turn of events . . . Nice transition paragraphs again. The second-to-last begins starts with a nice snippet of dialogue, with the next statement giving the new context. And the same thing done with the last paragraph, with the dialogue tagged through action on the part of the speaker instead of “said.” Nice little things that economize the writing and make every word count. Though I seem to be partial to that form, too, – dialogue, then action, that is. ;)

On another note, your two canon characters are quite interesting so far. Nice contrasting their calmness with the madness that is Hochstetter. Can’t wait to see them fleshed out more. And what’s the secret of their last names?
inhonoredglory chapter 1 . 5/5/2011
OK, so my first read in a long lineup of famous stories I have to check off my bookmarks. I love the beginning! So “serious” in third-person separateness. I can just hear a narrator speaking so tongue-in-cheek-like. Foretelling of things to come!

The move from paragraph 3 to 4 is faultless; I love it when authors say just enough to make us figure out the context. I also love the description of McGraw in paragraph 5: broad brush strokes that tell us everything.

“Unfortunately, about the same time, Hogan was informed via a phone tap that the unlucky pilot had been sent to the wrong camp and was being moved.” This quote sums up a lot of your style and the success of the quiet humor of this piece. “Unfortunately” and “unlucky” re-establish the narrator’s distance from the characters, similar to the distance of a third-person narration in a sitcom. The “via phone tap” bit is added with such ease and matter-of-factness as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

Other lines I love:

“Newkirk … had gotten close enough to him to pick his pockets.” LOL, friendship and sneakiness combined!

“The Captain spent a grand total of one week at Stalag 13.” Great example of mock-heroic humor.

“He took a guess that it measured at least four inches thick. He had already made up his mind that the whole matter was obviously a red herring set up to make his life miserable …”

There’s a smooth move from narration to dialoged scene in Colonel Ryan’s outburst. When I read stories, my mind plays a movie, and in transitions like these, I see a cut-scene right in the middle of action. What works in modern film works just as beautifully here. The only added benefit might be a touch of action after Ryan initially speaks, something like, “Colonel Ryan’s eyes flared hotly at his subordinate,” then the rest of “Colonel Ryan had met Hogan …” Minor stuff, of course.

Overall, the style is so reserved and distant, a trait consistent with your other stories I read. In serious pieces, it gives a far-off sadness, but here, it offers a matter-of-fact humor, which works perfectly. Hard to explain, really but easy to feel.

In another vein, I’m continuously impressed by your research skills and your confidence in writing about ranks and reports, protocol and organization as if you were really there. I wish I knew as much about the everyday workings of the military to tackle such plots. I’m looking forward to continue catching up on this one. Can’t wait to see what trouble’s going to brew with our Heroes. Sounds like a doozy!

P.S. Sorry for the long review. :)
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