|Reviews for Inside the Fire|
| Taylor Smith chapter 1 . 6/20
Any one who flames this story has no idea how awesome it is. I think that you are an amazing story writer. Congrats on the story.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/20/2014
I absolutely loved this story. I have read it about a million times. It is an amazingly beautiful and awesome story... :-D
| Above the Winter Moonlight chapter 1 . 10/25/2014
Not a bad story. I liked the ending and Haou basically being redeemed at the end. Very good.
| Uhh chapter 1 . 7/1/2014
Hello I love the story but you do know Jesse is a boy? And Jesse and Jaden weren't gay? And also, they just have a best friend relationship... their not boyfriend/boyfriend... I still don't understand why people are making them gay.. but still I love the story and not being mean in all.
| TheSupremeKingFangirl06 chapter 1 . 6/27/2014
*Fangirl mode activated* this is the BEST thing I have ever read!
| ShadowFireHime-Sama chapter 1 . 11/5/2012
This story is unique and i like it _
| ChibiRyou200 chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
Aw... This fic is so sweet!
| Cyber Horse chapter 1 . 5/11/2009
Love that song! Disurbed is one of my fav groups *w* didnt imagine that you like them too *
Great fic by the way.
Cant wait to read more fics writen by you or your new chap updates *w*
| Empty Puppet chapter 1 . 5/10/2009
Another Great Story!
I felt kinda sorry for Haou, but I'm glad Jesse was able to bring Jaden back! CX
Keep up the great writing!
| Daku-DarkNess316 chapter 1 . 5/6/2009
LOVE IT just LOVE it...I'm sad the Haou dies T.T but its still an AWESOME story I LOVE ALL YOU STORIES TO especially the ones with it ill be looking for any updates for your other stories along with knew stories
| Qu-ko chapter 1 . 5/6/2009
Theoretically, this could be a good idea. I've actually been considering fooling around with something similar a bit on my own to see if I could work it out.
This... isn't exactly what I had in mind, though.
There are those on this site who will blindly and rabidly insist Jaden and Haou are two separate people. Which they really aren't, even during the first little incident as Haou - which I even happen to believe they split into two during that duration. They never interact as different people, however. Like, for example, Malik and Yami Malik did. Haou appears in Jaden's mind as a manifestation rather than an entirely separate entity, and even when he has that little case of split-personality, they're still basically bound to one another and share the same personal identity. Recall that Haou never actually denies what he did, he just detaches himself from it as much as he can, which kind of suggests that he and Jaden are essentially considering themselves the same person. And for that reason, Haou never really had to "convince" Jaden that he needed to use Super Fusion to achieve revenge; he basically told HIMSELF that, and it kind of resonated with Haou's power, creating a whole new persona.
You kind of misconstrued his personality, as well. He's a madman, yes, but he's really not prone to frothing rages or malicious banter or trite taunting of his opponent (though the lattermost isn't totally below him, he just refrains from it most of the time). He's more a quiet and contained type, and does everything by force, yes, but it's a cold and callous type of force rather than a raging hot tantrum kind of force, if that makes any sense - he keeps his emotions carefully in check and doesn't openly display pleasure OR displeasure. He doesn't need to verbally manipulate anyone; he'll just kill them or brainwash them, no questions asked and no lenience given.
(On a different note... why in the world would Haou SING to Jaden? I'm... getting bad Disney vibes from that.)
That aside, even if they WERE different people, there's still quite a bit in this that you sorely misinterpret from the source. The duel, for example. I know, whine whine, don't criticize the duel because I'm too lazy to write it out properly... but if you didn't want to write it out properly - or didn't know how, as is often the case in this section - then you probably should've skipped to close to the end or directly to the end, so it doesn't make you look silly. The created cards (the created Kuriboh, actually, I kinda like that idea) don't seem to have a problem with them, and you start out doing fine, but then you just kind of... effectively say "screw it".
That whole disobeying the rules thing, too, would be out of character for Haou. No matter how evil and reckless he is, he still has dignity and pride, and breaking the rules of a duel or cheating is pretty much THE lowest thing a duelist can do. Most of the cheaters in the anime (particularly in DM) were punished heavily when they were caught, by their opponent or by someone else.
Back to the duel... you could've always used Solemn Judgment at the end part or some sort of ripoff of it (because despite it being a ripoff, it still serves the purpose). It does basically the same thing - halves life points to negate pretty much anything (except an attack, but a summon or effect could be negated), and it could be construed in canon any number of ways. I don't remember if it was actually USED or not ever, but I'm sure a writer could make use of it.
Also, why did you write that Haou had "pure white eyes" at the end of the fic? That kind of threw me off, since you seem to be aware he has golden eyes, so...
There are a few things that raise questions about various other points in canon, as well. Season three is hard to rewrite because every event in it has some sort of purpose. For example: what of Yubel? Why didn't Yubel possess Jesse? No reason was supplied for that as far as I can tell. And why would Jaden's friends be returned by killing Haou? It was Yubel who was holding them hostage, not Haou, which comes back to the Yubel point in general. She wouldn't just disappear, mainly because she's infected by the Light until the very end of season three, so she'd continue to pursue Jaden if he ignored her. And something else that comes to mind is Adrian - who takes care of HIM if Yubel!Jesse doesn't do it? He's attempting to be king of the Dark World, and with Exodios' power, he was very much capable of it. Edo couldn't even defeat him; Yubel had to do it. So if there's no one standing in his way, does he just take over?
...Already this has taken up about half the allotted review space (...um, wow), so I'll just leave this at the tl;dr it currently is. You're probably going to whine about "OMG NO FLAEMS!1" to me once you're done reading (or skimming) this, considering your ridiculous little tirade against them (even though the ones you describe? aren't actually flames in the first place), but I'll say this: I was as minimally snarky as I could consciously be in this review. I could've been a LOT more abrasive about this, and sometimes I am in such reviews, but you're honestly not untalented, just... your ideas have holes in them more often than not, holes that are easily patched with some work and creativity. If you think a review that points out plot and logical flaws in it in as mild a manner as the reviewer can manage is a flame, well... then you need a serious reality check, I'm afraid. And if you throw the "it's FAN-fiction and I can do whatever I want" excuse at me and leave it at that, then I'll ask you this in advance: if that's the case, when are you going to start being a FAN of the show and write the characters as they are rather than how you would want them to be?
So then, make what you will of that. It just baffles me why people don't seem to WANT in-character fanfiction, really...
| PrincessAnime08 chapter 1 . 5/6/2009
I LOVED it! Thank you so much for writing it.