|Reviews for within our power|
| Beth M chapter 1 . 12/19/2011
CheshireTears: "Purposelessly Hyperinflated Individuality" was the name of Jonathan's shield/wing in The Secret Hour. So Hyperinflated doesn't work. Also, tridecalogism doesn't work because it's a made-up word. And Arachnophobia was used in Touching Darkness, not Blue Noon.
My complaints about this: 1. "herself" is one word.
2. Demonstration should be capitalized, as it is a name and therefore a proper noun.
Beyond that, it's okay.
| nightmareparade chapter 1 . 2/21/2010
lmfao thats epic
ive read all the midnighters.
oh la la
theyre in my library school (Y)
in the third one. like BAWLED MY EYES OUT. !
| CheshireTears chapter 1 . 8/3/2009
Arachnaphobia. *checks* Hold on, that was spelled wrong. Arachnophobia. *checks again* Yup. And just so you know, I'm pretty sure they used it in Blue Noon, but whatever. And it was only (very painfully, I might add) used by Rex to describe his fear of spiders, not as a name for a weapon.
Tridecaphobia. I know it's not a real word, but pretend it means fear of the number 13, because the real word (Triskaidekaphobia) is 17 letters long.
Hyperinflated. (Though it sounds slightly familiar, I'm not sure, but they may have used it already.)
Hey, I found these on Scott Westerfield's site, and I found one post talking about the German site. I can't tell a dang thing it says, cause it's all in German, but there's a really cool Tridecalogism generator. If you can figure out how to translate it, the link is: w.
And I have... 7,825 more!
| sherril chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
You should really get a beta, there are some spelling errors you could avoid. A beta might help you with errors and the outline of your story.
What really annoyed me was the sudden switch of perspective. First you write Jessica's point of view in a third-person perspective and suddenly in first-person. I don't like first-person perspective in fanfiction anyway, but when in gets mixed in it's even more annoying.
You should reread your story before posting it here, there are some confusing sentences you might have noticed while rereading.
Besides that, you should think about where you want to go with your story, and then go ahead.
| weflytothetardis chapter 1 . 5/6/2009