Reviews for Southland: Beginnings
Gib chapter 2 . 5/25/2009
Sorry I didn't review chapter one but to be honest, I wasn't really ready for a new character.

Glad I decided to give chapter 2 a shot. I like that you've included most of the other characters and what you've got here is a good start. One thing that's a bit off... Russel doesn't have kids, other than that and your original character, you've got a pretty good start with the characters.

Each little snippet is a bit short but so are the clips on the show so this works. If if was up to me, it'd be Cooper and Ben almost all the time with a bit of Chickie and Det. Adams mixed in but that'd be it.

I'm a total Cooper fan and in my world, he's not gay but that's beside the point. I would like to see you continue this and keep the other characters involved.

I'll have to wait and see how your original character works into the mix to see if I like her or not. It could work as long as she's not the main focus of the entire story.

If you keep the format like you have here but just a bit longer, this ought to turn out pretty good.

Good luck, I'll be watching for a story alert.

-Gib-
viciousboy chapter 2 . 5/12/2009
Wow, this was really good.
Miss Lestrade chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
I think I agree with Mel...introducing another character might make things more overwhelming. I'm a girl who's close to your age, and I feel perfectly at ease writing with male characters. As a writer, I think it's good practice to try. But... your story seems well written, so I also encourage you to keep going.
Mel chapter 1 . 5/8/2009
Sorry, not interested in an original character. The show is just getting started and we're getting to know the actual characters. There's more than enough room to explore there. I don't understand why one would want to take focus away from that to write their own character. Ben is a rookie. Why introduce another one that's not in the show? Just to make it a woman? There is already a female uniformed officer that is showing what a woman comes up against amongst all of the men. Why not take her and expand on scenes, etc.? Or just expand Ben's role as a rookie and cover that?
noz4a2 chapter 1 . 5/7/2009
Hi, it seems to be a good start...you captured the shock and awe of being a rookie and seeing a dead body for the first time. I am curious to see where this goes. You know having the officers get involved doesn't make it a love story, it makes it real. In jobs like their they often cling to people who are kin and understand what they are going through, it makes it easier to cope with the incredible horrors that they have to face everyday. But if you don't do that, I will understand...update soon!