|Reviews for Kharlan Chronicles|
| LadyMartel4000 chapter 51 . 3/22
Really interesting fanfic! Congratz for finishing! It was a great read :D
| Kaizer-Kid chapter 51 . 6/22/2013
Type your review for this chapter here...
| M. Mellow chapter 51 . 6/17/2012
Read it non-stop for two days! You really put a lot of thought into this! It makes me want to play tos and tos:donw again! I love the character development, i can see how much thought you put into this! You captured the mortality of each character well and you gave a glod balance between good vs evil. The main reason why i throughly enjoyed this was because you managed to portray the struggle of self very well. Ones deed was never a shallow act, which gave more of a realistic tone into the story (despite being a fantasy genre :p) anyway i love this story and i cant wait to read the sequel :)
| eterniawolf chapter 8 . 12/25/2011
The appearance of Yuan and Noishe! Even if Noishe is still in his bird stage at this point. XD
| eterniawolf chapter 3 . 12/25/2011
I really like this story so far. There are typos, but it's nothing too big. :)
| eterniawolf chapter 1 . 12/25/2011
It's nice to get a glimpse into Mithos and Martel's pasts. :D
| Emil Lime chapter 51 . 10/10/2011
And I finished it all before my flute lesson! But I better get typing because it's really close and I need to leave a review!
Alright! Great story! I started reading it because I found your sequel and it recommended I read this one first to fully understand the second one. So I brought this one up and started reading it. I really did like it and it was really well planned but I figure I'll tell you some issues with it before I go into what I liked (just to get the painful stuff out of the way). The biggest issue was the constant spelling and grammar errors. You'd often forget an "ed" at the end of a word, or you'd add an "ed" or an "ly" when it wasn't needed. This happened quiet frequently and, although annoying, wasn't entirely disruptive since I was able to get through it. But I do think it's something you should be aware of. I don't know how much proof-reading you do before posting, but proof-reading would have helped (or, if you did proof-read, proof-reading again. Another option for that, if you aren't very good at catching your own mistakes, is getting a beta reader). Like I said, not terribly disruptive but it was very dominate. Another issue was the redundancy of the conversations. What they said was fine but the fact that you would frequently place an emotion with the person talking was repetitive. For example, you said that someone sneered with anger. Sneering is often done with anger so it isn't important for you to mention that emotion to us. Just by reading the comment and understanding the situation can tell me if the sneer was angry or sarcastic. Another example is saying something like 'mithos asked confused'. Once again, we can tell that mithos is confused, otherwise he wouldn't be asking the question. You don't have to explain every emotion that the person is going through. Those were the biggest issues I found in the story. I understand there isn't much you can do about it now but I hope you'll consider them for future writings.
Now on to the stuff that doesn't sound like I'm being a jerk. I LOVED THIS STORY! You did a wonderful job telling the story of the Kharlan war. In all actuality, I really didn't like the second tales of Symphonia because of the centurions and how they just didn't fit into the equation but you did a magnificent job mixing them together and made it very believable. I really like the fact that you stayed in canon for the story, not drifting to far out of the field of reality to tell the tale. Also, the way you went about telling it was great as well, since you managed to make Mithos, the villain of Symphonia and overall obnoxious brat, extremely likable! That leads into the fact that you are excellent with writing characters! You're characterization of Mithos, Martel, Kratos and Yuan was spot on and you never went out of character with them. A lot of people have trouble getting Kratos' character right (as you stated in your final author's note, many people make him far to kickass and flawless). You captured him very well and made his flaw believable. I totally agree with you after reading this story that Kratos' main weakness is that he doesn't fight for himself, instead, he puts his strength behind others. Yuan was absolutely hysterical and I loved how he'd banter Kratos. You did a great job capturing their friendship and, once again, made it very believable and canon. Mithos and Martel, although we don't know much about who they are from the game, were as right as you could be. You created them very well and it comes off in your piece. Your OC's were also really well done. Although, like you'd mentioned, we all knew Zilveren was evil (I mean, come on. Anyone with teal hair has to be evil, ja?) but he was done really well. I can understand why the team didn't know he was evil, which is the entire point. I never did like Malachite, but that's because I don't usually like female OC's anyway. Thankfully, it wasn't because she was a mary-sue. She was a very good character, I just didn't like her personally. Gem, Eric and Ratto were my favorites...don't know why. I loved Gem so much and then you killed him, and it made me very sad. Also, when Ratto turned out to be evil and then also died, that crushed my poor heart as well. Cryus and Crimson were also well written and I like that you gave Crimson some extra deminson instead of just having him be a big jerk. I was very surprised to figure out that Crimson actually cared about Kratos. You do a wonderful job with OC's as well as canon characters and, as I mentioned in one review, you do a wonderful job writing Yuan/Martel (So make some more of them)!
Anyway, that's the extent of what I have to say about this great story. I'm very sad it's over but at least I have like 30 chapters of the other one to read! I shall get right to that...after I read death cure (final book of the maze runner trilogy). Either way, onward and outward!
| Emil Lime chapter 48 . 10/10/2011
Celebrate! Go Kratos! You're a Bamf! Anyway, great story and I just thought I would tell you that you've gotten better at writing fight scenes. I'll probably bring this up in my final review but I thought I'd mention it now. Your description's gotten more vivid, thus making the fight scene more realistic and more enjoyable to read. I would usually skim over the fight scene's because they weren't as well written as the rest of the story but I found myself reading every word of the last one and this one. You've gotten better and that makes me really excited for the fight with Zilveren as well as your next story. Either way, I've got 3 chapters to read before my flute lesson (which is coming up pretty quickly) so I'd best get on it!
| Emil Lime chapter 47 . 10/10/2011
oh snap! Yuan and Mithos killed Ratto! When the monster came on I was like, "NO! DON'T BE RATTO! I DON'T WANT HIM TO DIE, TOO!" Of course, he kind of needed to die so...yeah. Anyway, I'm leaving a comment because I loved the last line. Very brilliant. I was wondering how Yuan would know who it was and the last line was just expertly done. Anyway, onward! I have to figure out what happens between Cryus and Kratos...GO KRATOS! XD
| Emil Lime chapter 42 . 10/8/2011
And I'm reviewing again! First off, you need to stop killing off the OC's I like (I suppose you don't have any real control of that any more but it keeps making me sad. I also suppose you didn't actually kill of Ratto but none the less, he's a monster now). ANYWAY, the funeral was very sad. I told myself I wasn't going to cry and, while malachite was speaking, I didn't. Not until Yuan and Kratos started saying their little speeches did the waterworks start up. So, good job writing it!
Anyway, onward and outward!
| Emil Lime chapter 39 . 10/3/2011
I'm so sad that you killed Gem that I want to cry! I really liked him (even though he was only in the story a little bit) and I'm super sad to see him go! Either way, I shall get past my woes and continue to read! Only 11 chapters left to go and I can't wait to figure out what happens!
| Emil Lime chapter 34 . 10/3/2011
And I'm reviewing again (Ok, I'm just going to stop saying I'll wait to the end and review when I feel like it. I will still review at the end but there's no point in restricting myself). ANWAY, the reason I had to review is because I absolutely love Ratto! OMG I was laughing my head off when they were talking with him!
Ratto chuckled as he took another inhale of his pipe. "Get that all the time, kid."
"That wasn't a compliment." Mithos muttered.
"Usually isn't." Ratto smiled.
"Doesn't anything faze this guy?" Mithos asked in frustration.
Kratos sighed. "If there was, it would be news to us all."
Yuan put his hand on his chin. "I didn't know a Fahrer's uniform could be so...attractive."
Even Kratos looked impress. "I don't believe we will ever see this part of Martel again."
Ratto smirked. "I knew you two were into that kind of stuff."
Mithos was really confused. "What is he talking about?"
"That is not something for kids to know." Yuan dismissed his question.
those two scenes made me die from a laughing fit. I should learn my lesson about reading fanfiction i public because something like this always happens, where something is really funny and I start laughing, and people give me the strangest looks. Either way, I thought I would tell you that because it was that funny! I love how innocent Mithos' mind is! It's beautiful! You're amazing (as stated before) and I shall continue reading!
| Emil Lime chapter 33 . 10/3/2011
Goodness, once again I'm reviewing when I said I wouldn't. I was forced to by the warm and fuzzy feelings that are consuming me right now. I've been having a rather bleak morning and I was reading this chapter and the end of it made me feel a million times better. So, I thought I'd drop another review to let you know that you write Yuan/Martel really well. It always managed to make me feel happy (which is very odd because I hate reading romance and the like, even if it's for a pair I like). Either way, good job writing it and I personally think you should write some fluff fics with those two! (and perhaps a Kratos/Raine one? Maybe?) Anyway, my class is actually going to begin soon so I need to put my computer away as well as wait to continue reading (trust me, I'd rather be reading). Great chapter and I shall continue reading after all of my classes are over for the day!
| Emil Lime chapter 15 . 9/27/2011
I told myself I wasn't going to review until the end and then post a freaking long review just for you but then the thing with Quick Jump came up and I had to say something!
PURE, FREAKING, GENIUS! That was totally amazing (and timed so well in this story because the water temple is my most hated for Jesus only knows what reason) and a Quick Jump would have been wonderful!
Thought I would tell you that that little line completely convinced me that you are amazing (not that this story wasn't convincing me of that, the quick jump thing just made me realize that sooner!)
Anyway, back to reading! I've got a long way to go!
| naash chapter 5 . 8/20/2011
my friend suggested me to read this story and since i dont play tales of symphonia its easy for a newbie like me to read and its very addicting