|Reviews for Requiem|
| Louey06 chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
This was wonderful. I've never seen anything like it before fabulous job
| iheartjackson1997 chapter 1 . 9/14/2010
This was undeniably beautiful. The interweaving of the victim’s emotions depicted through major emotional events within her life was brilliance. I adored it. Thank you.
| shalu chapter 1 . 6/17/2010
interesting take. thanks! :)
| GatesMom chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
Not usually my cup of tea (I usually stick with the funny stories), but this was very well written, touching, and insightful. Thank you for sharing!
| MaleficentKnits chapter 1 . 6/10/2010
chills... I've always wondered what death would be like for someone at the hands of Jasper and his empathic ways... I find it interesting how you have him use his gift to ensnare his victims with feelings of trust only to lose control over his own emotions at the end. very well written... I'm definitely gonna be recommending your tales over in Ravelry to the UUs... hope to read so much more from you; keep up the writing.
| Legna989 chapter 1 . 4/20/2010
I happened upon this little gem while looking for something else entirely, but I'm very glad I did.
Jasper is one of my favorite characters, and I've often contemplated what it must have been like for him to feel the emotions of his victims. After all, it was ultimately one of the main reasons he opted for the "vegetarian" diet.
But I'd never really considered it from a victim's perspective-what effect Jasper's projection of his own emotions would have on the victim. So fascinating! As a reader, I know what Jasper's doing, even if his victim doesn't. And to see him go from predatory, using all of his powerful charms and projecting trust and ennui and fatigue, to guilt-ridden and remorseful, and seeing what that conjures in the victim, was really interesting.
Thank you for writing.
| sorrowfloats44 chapter 1 . 12/14/2009
You write so beautifully, and this was a very satisfying glimpse of something I have been curious about since first reading Twilight. Jasper is truly one of the most potentially intriguing characters in FF. I mean, an Empathic Serial Killer is interesting in and of itself, but if he can then manipulate the emotions of his victims as well.. wow, the possibilities are endless. I love that you have Jasper feeling remorse - I had often perceived the canon version, pre-Alice, pre-vegetarian, to be a bit of a cold-blooded monster, so his being sorry was both surprising and touching. I would LOVE to see this from Japser's POV, or a different victim. I can't wait to read more of your work!
| The Diamond in the Rocks chapter 1 . 12/12/2009
Absoulutely amazing, it couldn't have been written better. The quote at the beginning wound in nicely with the story, and I love the flashbacks. Astounding job.
| xxCantControlMyselfxx chapter 1 . 7/24/2009
This was so emotional,so feeling that was written,I was a wonderful best I have read so far.I can see how it was difficult to write,the intensity of it...just blew me away.
You are a true writer.
Keep up the good work.
| SCREAMINGwhispers chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
Wow. Very powerful.
| twilightbloom chapter 1 . 5/26/2009
Oh. My. God.
I can see why this was difficult to write; so intense and full of emotion.
Very original doing a victim POV; and very, very powerful.
| klekje chapter 1 . 5/15/2009
A good story, very well written (as always!) and also refreshing. You don't often get a Twilight story from a POV that is NOT the Cullen's (I hope you understand that sentence: English isn't my first language, but I try) and this is a one-of-a-kind story. I wish I could praise you more, but I don't have the words for it. Please just know that I love your stuff, keep writing!
| Struck Upon a Star chapter 1 . 5/11/2009
So excited to review this! Here goes:
-"Times had changed after that day. Women joined the workforce as their husbands went to fight overseas, and every day I molded the triggers with which Paul would shoot down the enemy. The same triggers which could harm him." There's so much going on in this sentence. The narrator feels a certain pride at being able to fill a certain role in her family that tradition/social mores had prohibited her from following before the war, but at the same time, all her work is going towards the continuation of the war effort that's keeping her husband in danger. Readers instantly get a feel for the period and your main character in this opening paragraph, which is fantastic. You also set up a kind of dueling tension theme that's going to carry throughout. Love it!
-I love how you describe Jasper's growing control over the narrator. How it just barely touches her at first, so that she still has the presence of mind to wonder why she's not afraid, but how it slowly grows throughout the story to a point where she's drowning in self-loathing. Very subtle and very awesome.
-Realynn8 noticed this first (despite the fact that I've read this story many, many times!), so credit goes to her for point it out, but the way that you illustrate Edward's sentiment about how predatory Jasper is, and about how everything about Jasper (his smell, his looks, etc) draws the narrator in is fabulous. And it just serves to heighten in the tension in the scene where he "poisons" her with lethargy, since, in a way, we're all (including the narrator herself) thinking, "you stupid woman, you should never have fallen for that!" But it was literally impossible for her to resist.
-The "black eyes" bit is amazing too, 'cause really, if I saw someone with black eyes, I'd freak the hell out. But she thinks they're kind and gentle because Jasper's making her feel that. It's a very effective way to show his influence over her.
-Jasper's very much like James in these opening paragraphs, isn't he? Like a hunter who's enjoying his hunt-just playing the part, and knowing that he's good at it.
-"It was like he was spreading kisses of death in careful plot points against my throat in an act of ravaging, unholy geometry." Mouth-candy, and also terrific imagery.
-I like what you've done with the paragraphs preceding "want." And I'm secretly (okay, maybe not-so-secretly) thrilled with the fact that you've stuck with "exsanguinated." It's one of my favorite words ever.
-All the "want" memories are perfect as well. I especially love the naked husband one... maybe 'cause I always picture 40s women as being sexually repressed, so I'm glad to know that this woman knows what desire is. That she's felt lust before.
-I really like what you've done with the paragraph before "fear" too. I could see Jasper being scared out of his mind with those sirens, and having to fight the dueling instincts to run away and to stay and feed. And I like that the "trembling hands" becomes the action that connects both the narrator and Jasper. It's very effective.
-The image of Jasper slamming her hands down on the pavement is grotesque but appropriate. I can hear the bones snapping and see the bruises forming, and it's all very visually dynamic. What I think really makes it is that it's like Jasper's hurting her 'cause he can't hurt himself. Jasper really would have no need to slam someone's fists down to stop them from fighting him: he could totally just let her beat on him until she broke her own wrists with the effort, and never feel a thing. But the fact that he not only holds her down but *smashes her bones* shows exactly how much he hates himself for what he's doing. It's really quite awesome. Oh, and I know I've said this, but going from the pain of broken bones to the pain of childbirth is a good transition as well :-)
-"A death certificate on my daughter's birthday. I gently combed the hair on her cold head with my fingers, tracing her features. Two eyes, one mouth, one adorable nose. Ten fingers, ten toes." This is again, quite grotesque, just because I always think that dead babies are so anomalous that it's hard to even imagine someone touching one. But again, it's very vivid and very appropriate for your character, and I like the way it fits with the violence of Jasper's actions in the present.
-Ew. Veins as straws is very gross too, but in a good way!
-I like how, by Guilt and Shame, she's no longer able to remember anything that has any positive twist on it at all. Despite the fact that Jasper was pretty confident in his abilities and secure in his decision to kill this woman at the beginning of the story, it's clear that he's losing more and more control as he gains more and more strength from her blood. I love how helpless they both seem by the end-it really speaks to the struggle that Jasper has to go through to survive.
-I *love* the final (non-italicized) portion of this story. How she feels guilt for totally irrational things-even going so far as to feel guilty for what Jasper's obviously going through as well. She can really no more feel guilty for Jasper's... guilt... than he can feel guilty for killing her. He's just like a child who has been told that the only way to survive is to kill, and he's trusted in that his whole life, 'cause what other choice does he have? You do a good job of making Jasper sympathetic despite the fact that he's taking someone's life, and at the same time making us feel sorry for the victim. And that last, ambiguous "I'm sorry" is just so poignant, since we no longer even know who's speaking it or why. Despite the fact that this story is narrated by an OC, it really explains the heartache and moral struggle Jasper has to go through to survive before he finds the Cullens, and simultaneously explains his willingness to try and adopt their lifestyle despite having fed on humans for nearly 100 years. Thank you so much for writing this story and for giving both canon Jasper and his victims believable, resounding voices.
| Realynn8 chapter 1 . 5/11/2009
First of all, thank you so much for the lovely shout-out, that was really sweet of you. *hugs* Thank you.
And now to the actual review. Hun, this was absolutely amazing, it blew my mind. :)
I have never before read something like this, usually when he is killing, it is from his POV. Brilliant idea and so well written. It was so sad. I felt so sorry for both of them.
Interesting how she immediately knew something was wrong, when she noticed him. Instinct perhaps? Or just common sense. Whichever it didn't really matter because of his power. At least she wasn't afraid anymore. Well, at first.
I guess everything about him drew her in, his looks, his smell, everything. Like Edward said, they are the most dangerous predators but very appealing to the humans. Plus, Jasper really is exceptionally handsome and attractive. ;)
The poor woman has been through so much already, and now she had to die and leave her family behind, her dear children. You wrote it so beautifully, i could feel her pain and anguish, and even more remarkable, I could feel Jasper's too.
Their emotions are the same, I don't know whether she feels like that because of Jasper or because she is dying. Probably both. Her death is bittersweet, bitter because she died and sweet because she gave Jasper her blood and kept him alive.
It was a beautiful one shot, very sad and very moving. I am going to be thinking about it for quiet a while. :)
Great work hun. It was as always a pleasure to read your work.