Reviews for The Incapability Of Haruhi Suzumiya
Mike1924 chapter 14 . 9/14/2013
Incredible story! Loved it from beginning to end! I especially loved the 13th chapter! I'm going to get started on reading the next part right away!
iShiney chapter 14 . 5/6/2012
I love this series! XD
CrisTocK chapter 14 . 4/27/2012
wow great story, thanks a lot for your work, now to read de part 3 of this saga xD
Kakashi's Missing Icha Book chapter 4 . 4/16/2011
hahaha interesting chapter yet again! However, I feel the need to answer Yuki's question. Kissing is actually very important to a relationship, it is a way for both bodies to exchange hormones, this causes a stronger feeling of infatuation, as well as a way for their bodies to know what is going on in each other. For example, if your wife is pregnant, your body chemistry will change to become more caring and fatherly. However, on the flip side, it would cause your wife's body to become more relaxed and help her mood. A similar exchange of hormomes also occurs during intercourse, but with a more mood affecting effect.
xoxo Juniebug chapter 4 . 2/8/2010
Awkward Yuki-chan is awkward.

Nevertheless this is a good story!
Hakushu87 chapter 14 . 12/27/2009
Great depictions of the characters and essentially a perfect example of type of story that would probably be told if something and romantic and yet exciting as this ever became canon for the series.

Thank you for all the work you have done Hejin, I'm a little late getting to this given that I discovered the series and this OTP(haha) just 3 weeks ago.

I look forward to all you future works and consider yourself well recommended to my friends.
Signum Victri chapter 14 . 11/19/2009
The second in the quartet is very well done, nearly on par with the first but the repetitions sink it into a very narrow third place (not because it is bad, but for the simple fact that the first and fourth are astounding). Again, the plot moves just as smoothly as the first, with little to no errors in the literate and canonical sense.

I must admit it is quite amazing to have written not one, but four linked and consecutive stories on Haruhi Suzumiya. I cannot wait for the fifth installment.
Nederbird chapter 14 . 9/16/2009
Just finished this one too. I have to say, this one was great! No wonder you had so much fun writing it. You practically created a perfect scenario full of intensity that just kept me glued to the monitor all day. This was great!

There's only one little thing I suggest you change, and that's more about dialogues. I notice sometimes that after a character says something and there's a pause, you continue his speech in a new paragraph, which is very confusing. I'll give you an example:

“You don’t get it!” Haruhi replied with an obviously angry tone; her finger suddenly pointing directly at my face. She has ceased to stop all this accusing pointing.

“I’m never going to be satisfied with normal. I’m only going to be satisfied with all the time travelers, espers and aliens that I can ever find!”

Now, this probably isn't the best example, since one cane deduce from the manner of speech that it's Haruhi, but in most cases it's very confusing. Usually, at least from my experience, a new paragraph is only used in dialogue to indicate that another character speak. Jumping paragraphs like this will make it seem that it's not Haruhi who's uterring the words in the second paragraph, but someone else. If it's the same character, it's okay to continue the dialogue in the same paragraph after the explaining text. Like this:

“You don’t get it!” Haruhi replied with an obviously angry tone; her finger suddenly pointing directly at my face. She has ceased to stop all this accusing pointing. “I’m never going to be satisfied with normal. I’m only going to be satisfied with all the time travelers, espers and aliens that I can ever find!”

It may look jumbled now, but once on paper (in this case the fic) it looks perfectly normal.

Besides that, this fic was flawless! I'm off to read the next installment now, so you'll probably hear from me soon again.

Med Vänliga Hälsningar, Nederbörd.
SYStem-0 chapter 14 . 7/12/2009
You have definitely improved yourself at story writing when comparing this fic to your last one. Although the plot was relatively straight forward, you captured the essence of each character and also kept adding your own personal touch to Kyon/Haruhi's relationship.

I'll be interested is seeing how your sequel is developing, once I read it. Keep the good ideas flowing.


procrastinadian chapter 14 . 6/29/2009
Another great story, I really enjoy your work. After finishing The Attraction of Haruhi Suzumiya, I was overjoyed that you were writing a sequel, but decided to hold off on reading it as I was afraid it would come to an end all too soon. But before I knew it, you had finished and moved on to another sequel. Continue writing, your stories only get better and better. Great work and a great read, thank you.
Stellgar chapter 14 . 6/21/2009
I enjoyed this story alot. it had a pretty original plotline and kept me on the edge of my seat. And for the sequel, you should rate it M :P
Xanthia Sorel chapter 14 . 6/21/2009
Another cute, realistic and well thought out story, there were a few speling mistakes but very enjoyable none the less and I hope to see your next story soon
procrastinadian chapter 5 . 6/17/2009
I finally got around to reading this story, only to find that for some reason that the Chapter 5 in the Incapability is the exact same as in the Attraction. I'm betting that this isn't supposed to be like and am hoping you could update it. If it is supposed to be this chapter, then my mistake. I'm hoping though I get an answer to which it is soon, as I cannot wait to read more.
LookinForLuk chapter 14 . 6/13/2009
great story! once again i read it in one sitting :P, to be honest i prefered the 1st one but this was pretty nice to reqad too. Though about the asakura and crana bit...i think it would be better if she kept on shooting those lasers she used in the anime...
angel0wonder chapter 14 . 6/1/2009
Yes, brilliant is definitely the word I would use to describe this. I'm loving this stuff and I greatly look forward to your next installment! Your Kyon/Haruhi is some of the best I've ever read! Keep the good stuff coming.
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