Reviews for The Incapability Of Haruhi Suzumiya
Typewriterman chapter 11 . 5/26/2009
I think you should take it as a compliment when all I can nitpick from this chapter is your use of semi-colons.

With that said, I am just bewildered at your pace as always. Perhaps you've had your chapters written out beforehand?
JonBob0008 chapter 11 . 5/26/2009
Thanks you for another great chapter. I've enjoyed where this is going, and it appears we're reaching the climax. Can't wait to see what happens.

Now for the criticism. This is something I've noticed for a while but always slipped my mind. Improper use of semicolons.

I've noticed a lot of sentences that have semicolons when either a comma would be more appropriate or no puncuation was necessary.

Example:"Normally; I might have thought about just stopping and trying to find a way out."

Correction:"Normally, I might have thought about just stopping and trying to find a way out."


Example:"Instead; she went off running like a scared child, and I can only imagine that she was not happy with what she had seen. In fact, I was imagining Haruhi nearly crying her eyes out."

Correction::"Instead she went off running like a scared child, and I can only imagine that she was not happy with what she had seen. In fact, I was imagining Haruhi nearly crying her eyes out."

I would recommend that you stop using them. Usually, a comma is more appropriate for pauses in sentences. Semicolons are usually used as a pause between two sentences that relate to eachother; You don't use them to as a pause for one word. Did you see that? I just used a semicolon properly. Of course, I could have used a period, too. Which is why I recommend not using them. They're not really needed.

Hope that helped. See ya next chapter :)
ashez2ashes chapter 11 . 5/26/2009
Its amazing how fast you can turn these chapters out. The plot's really heating up.
JGRDL chapter 11 . 5/26/2009
perfect i'll have to thank nagato for sending ryoko up here with me in canada xd noo cliff hangers are evil try to update soon ok plz
zignaoozm chapter 10 . 5/26/2009
You are

Well at least, you can write him to perfection. :)
Sperance chapter 10 . 5/26/2009
Uh, oh... things are getting worse and worse... The second season is already out? I'll wait a few weeks so I can have a bunch of chapters to watch :D
Ou-Rex chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
ashez2ashes chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
I wouldn't worry about not reading the other novels. The only event that would have any relation to this story's plot is the John Smith part. Everything else (including a story that does resemble this a little bit) happened later chronologically. I'd recommend not looking up novels until the second season is over, because at least the Disapearance of Suzumiya is so good its worth waiting for the anime to animate.
uzukun7 chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
poor kyon kun. i think you characterized haruhi perfectly in this chapter. shes to stubborn to follow anyone and thats why everything is going so wrong right now. i cant wait for the next chapter. laterz
JonBob0008 chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
I had a suspicion that you hadn't read all the novels. Oh well, that doesn't matter. I'm still enjoying the story. _

Look like Kyon has to confess to Haruhi all over again. lol!
Hououza chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
Magnificent chapter.

Cleverly done, not what I was expecting at all bit ironic that Asakura herself seems to have been the catalyst to starting to create a change. Now the only problem is actually catching Haruhi and fixing this entire mess, and in such a way that it does not cause the world to end and keeps Haruhi from remembering she is god.

Good luck & best wishes,

Hououza chapter 9 . 5/25/2009
Excellent chapter.

Poor Kyon, not the best thing to have said in front of their entire class, but still I'm sure they'll forget it soon enough...along with everything else.

It's interesting tosee what effect the changes are having on the other brigade members, putting aside the whole issue of the world ending it's quite amusing to see them all acting like regular students.

The question is now, how is Kyon going to fix all of this?

Good luck & best wishes,

JGRDL chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
xd now how the hells he gonna fix this one lol
GuardEzio chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
wow intresting

cant wait for the next chapter
Typewriterman chapter 10 . 5/25/2009
My my, I see that this chapter was definitely planned from this start, as I went giddy from realizing the story's namesake from reading it.

A very well engineered roller coaster of emotion, if anything else, and very well grounded for having only seen the anime and not read the books as of yet.

Your pace seemed to show its cracks as several grammar mistakes, if not more, appeared than other chapters, though your semi-colon use has gone down a bit, haha.

Amnesia has always been a traumatic plot device in my opinion, so you've definitely got me glued with hopes for a positive conclusion.
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