|Reviews for See Behind the Mask|
| Nikolai22 chapter 5 . 2/21
Word choice does not need to be so complex.
An excellent goal to set as a writer is to be able to describe complex and complicated things, simply. Some people like to read words that are not heard in conversation, most do not. It is just unnecessary and it reads as if you really went out of your way to do so.
| Nikolai22 chapter 6 . 2/21
I don't know if it is supposed to impress me when you use so many ways to refer to one person, but now I'm just laughing at what I read.
| Nikolai22 chapter 7 . 2/21
God damnit can't you make more fucking chapters each one takes forever to read for fucks sake just cut them into fourths and quadruple the chapters but cramming so much into each chapter is ridiculous!
Too many unnecessary description and high level words where basics would be fine.
Forced Toko relationship that contributes little to the story.
yours is the story where I can skip whole paragraphs and still miss no important story elements...much like reading weapon descriptions or character bios in an RPG game.
| JoojooBrother chapter 7 . 10/27/2014
Well I'm glad the romance was saved for the end haha I may have skipped most of the chapter.
| Vladimir Zhivanevskaya chapter 7 . 4/27/2014
A truly excellent story. Though I liked most everything about it, what I found particularly refreshing is the portrayal of sudden sight bequeathed unto Toph whilst in the spirit world. There is plenty of research suggesting problems with depth perception in the newly sighted, as well as various other problems (such as not being able to tell the direction a person's eyes are facing). Toph should have a bit of a head start, as she already knows sizes and shapes of things, but it must be disorienting to not have a 360 degree view of what's around you.
...but I digress. Your style was excellent, and I enjoyed all of it (a tad heavy on the Toph/Zuko pairing, but it's impossible to please everyone, I suppose).
| Atarah Derek chapter 4 . 7/6/2013
Your writing is brilliant, suspenseful and thrilling. But what I particularly love about this chapter is Toph's reaction to being able to see. That was handled perfectly.
| Crazy Dyslexic Nerd chapter 7 . 12/26/2011
That is an amazing story. It makes sense, the word choice is simply stunning, words I know but can never remember to use. As a veracious reader, I like to thin tat I an tell quality writing, and, in my less then humble opinion,this is a great story with quality writing, good characterisation, and the sort of plot that grabs you up and takes you on a rollercoaster of thoughts, feelings, and views of the world. It really is extremely well crafted. It's a beautiful story.
| TT chapter 1 . 12/9/2010
Amazing story. Great job. :)
| IUSEDTOBECRAZY chapter 6 . 9/26/2010
Right... I forgot about the owl... Sokka pissed him off alot, but he does that to everyone. I admit to being rather ignorant on the mechanics of everything behind avatar, having only sparcely watched it...(It's entirely possible that I confused two different genres. Considering that, I figured Iroh would have had an easier time killing the 'two-faced' bastard were he confined in a weaker state. Either that or bring him back in his own body... like you said in the chapter before the event, "Stupid idea" Yes...well, I guess he could have had a corporeal body on the mortal side of the fence...Touche')
Still, it's an interesting show even if it is a little naive on the abstract notion of peace and harmony. Anyway, glad to see that Iroh didn't die, that old man is hilarious! I was kind of surprised to see a story center around Iroh and Toph though.(A mentor type relationship! That oversized centipede had no shame! Going after someone who couldn't possibly have defended herself against his machinations...Went against his sense of fair play? I Didn't realize he had any. Inventive. A nice touch on bringing him across by attaching him to Toph.) A good kind of surprised mind you, nothing worse than stories that start off good and then you find out terrible and disturbing...uh, shall we say, 'interests' that the author has later on... Mental scars...Frued... More mental scars...ugh, stupid high shcool... No need for thanks on the review, on the contrary, thank you for the excellent perusingly, peruse-alable reading material! NERDIN OUT!
| IUSEDTOBECRAZY chapter 5 . 9/26/2010
Ah, my! A refreshing story to be sure! I do enjoy the subtlety of your social commentary. To be sure, when Koh sets about to "fix" the world, he falls into the same trap the so called ignorant and violent types do. We find out he isn't exactly heartless but at the same time he lies to himself about his goals. Irony! And it's in my favor this time! A true "compassionate tyrant in the making'. Faith is what holds the more unsavory aspects of society at bay, and with the destruction of it and it's replacement with the secular and easily misled aspirations of mankind and the state at the helm of authority, we get statism!(i.e. when man's judgement is used in leiu of God's as a basis for morality, it is prone to the whims and shortcomings of man and is; therefore, unreliable. This is simply my view on society as a christian)
I've read a few of your stories and this does seem to be a popular theme. Good. It makes people think, and in this regard I applaud you. You certainly are a bright spot here and so far everything I've read is a page turner! Good story telling is a rare gift! I was rather confused on Iroh's plan at first. I was wondering how he planned to bring Koh back without having a vessel to put him in. Doomed to fail from the start I suppose... Well, this should teach Koh something about picking on little blind girls for his own amusement anyway. Now all she needs is Gordan Freeman or Chuck Norris to come in with crowbar and roundhouse respectivly... I know, that was bad. I'll leave you alone now... NERDIN OUT!
| Calla-Allac chapter 7 . 9/21/2010
Wow! Surprised I didn't find this gem a while ago. Damnit, wish I'd commented while it was still fresh.
ANYWHO, REMEMBERING MOMENTS:
That whole scene of Iroh talking about Ozai and then him not seeing his face in years gave me the heeby-jeebies. Had to stop for a bit. Also, love Toph. Love Iroh. Two best characters right on up in here.
For a while Koh wasn't entirely evil, when there was talk about the tree and disgust in other peeps and truths, but that doesn't make wiping out a whole group of peoples valid and well. Yeah.
When he came back blind? Brilliant. D
Ah got distracted.
This story was amazing. It held my interest with no meh points and ended sweetly.
Thank you for writing :D
| trixxieWeasley chapter 7 . 8/23/2010
This is just amazing I love it! Sometimes got a little too confusing but such an amazing idea I just couldn't stop Reading! I really wish you would write a sequal though! Please!
| MonCappy chapter 7 . 8/11/2010
This has to be one of the best Avatar: The Last Airbender related stories I have ever read. You weaved together both a poignant and exhilarating tale and I feel that it is good enough that had even the show creators would have given this story their stamp of approval.
Your good enough that I find it surprising you aren't writing original fiction of your own.
I will also say that I think your portrayal of Koh in this story has turned him into one of my favorite villains in this piece. You took what was essentially a throw away character and gave him a life that made him both fascinating and entertaining at the same time.
If the show runners decided to give Koh a role in their new series, I think they should come to you for tips on his characterization as I think you did a damn good job with him here.
| WaveMasterYami chapter 7 . 8/1/2010
I can't even begin to describe how amazingly awesome this story is! I adore Toph and Iroh, and you really did them justice here. I loved the interaction between all the characters, and I especially loved the implied Zuko/Toph-ness. The only thing I didn't like was the ending, because now I reeeeaaaaalllllly want a sequel. x]
| smalltown something chapter 7 . 7/13/2010
Okay. So, I found this story last night, and couldn't stop reading. I had to get up early for work, and ended up reading this until just an hour or two before I had to get up, so. Without sarcasm, thanks for keeping me up all night!
First, I would like to tell you how much I appreciate your content. Not just plot and characters, but truly the flow of your writing. It was superb. The description of locations, the inner thought you created and the delightful narrative was what truly pulled everything together.
I enjoyed the truly 'epic' that this story defines for me, maybe it is because of the duplicity of it only really having two main protagonists, despite the mass effect that the plot held.
I truly enjoyed the combination of Toph and Iroh, they are two delightful characters, and you had them down perfectly. And yet, portrayed them in your own way. It was a very well thought out idea. In its originality, and especially in the way it was concieved. One segment in particular really stuck with me, and made me smile;
i"Did you come here intending to kill me?"
There was something palpably innocent in the expression he wore now, as though it was demanding to know how anyone in their right mind could conceive of doing him harm.
Toph just gave a huff.
"Actually, I didn't mean to come to this place at all. It was an accident, I guess."
The two gleaming black cabochons narrowed, and Koh began to inch towards her face.
"I was going to wait for Iroh to bring you back, and then help him kill you," she concluded matter-of-factly./i
This really showed me how differently Toph may perceive the world, unlike to everyone else. Others might tell the truth because they had to if they wanted to survive, or even, not tell the truth and fall. But Toph just doesn't see anything wrong with telling a very-feared spirit (while in their realm), to their face no less, that she had every intention of ganking his behind.
A truly delightful read. I don't review typically, but I felt the need to let you know how much I appreciated your work and leave some kind of feedback for anything you may write in the future. I haven't looked at your profile yet, but intend to.