|Reviews for The aftermath of Prey|
| FaBbEr0oZ chapter 1 . 8/18/2012
| SeverusDmitri18 chapter 1 . 9/8/2010
| supasoph chapter 1 . 3/15/2010
More chapters please eg their first time or whatever!
| Red Queen forever chapter 1 . 8/3/2009
Beautiful, but please don't leave me hanging! :]
Lovely write, well done.
| Isobel Rowan chapter 1 . 7/3/2009
You did a great job getting into Janeway's mind. We can see the progression in your narrative of what she felt.
I also loved the fine details you added...like Janeway detecting Seven's slightly metallic scent. I have never seen that detail in any story about 7. But it has to be true!
I think you could have polished their conversation a little, added some comments that revealed something new or interesting about J and 7. I read a writing book that gave great advice, that I'll pass on here: Peo. skip over common phrases, like I'm sorry. They simply don't read them. So, the author suggested, writers have to say/show feelings in innovative ways. How can a writer "show" the characters love each other without actually using those three words? If you really think about it, that's the heart of a great story. Showing feelings we've all had in a new light.
I hope you find this feedback helpful. Thanks for your story and I look forward to reading more of your work.
| LizzieV chapter 1 . 5/27/2009
YES! PERFECTION! Great job and wonderful writing! :-)
| tracesofbeing chapter 1 . 5/20/2009
This was awesome! Happy feeling :D
| Rono777 chapter 1 . 5/14/2009
Sweet dreams indeed!
| Mistressirish chapter 1 . 5/13/2009
Such a sweet sweet story! Loved it