|Reviews for The Titans and the Wild Horse|
| The Other White Meat chapter 1 . 5/14/2009
I would recommend starting it with some more description to fill in the time frame and situation. Either through more discussion with the two fighters or from Ranma's internal thoughts. Needs more content to be a proper chapter. The fight scene is ok, but it doesn't give a good reader a sense of where anything is going.
| Requiem the Relentless chapter 1 . 5/14/2009
Script format is against 's policies.
Also it looks terrible.
Also this story is terrible.
| Darchias chapter 1 . 5/13/2009
You attempt to match up to the talents of Lathis, eh? Well, it is an admirable goal, but foolish in execution.
You MIGHT be able to do it if you make some revisions. The reference to Naruto was unnecessary, but if you're stubborn you can keep it.
The most important thing you can possibly do to improve this fic is take it out of script format. Writing in script format is one of the 'DO NOT DO's of fanfic writing. If you were writing a screenplay, sure. But you're writing a STORY.
Attempting to do this fic is... not a terrible idea, but don't be to suprised if you get a few more negative reviews. I would attempt to fix this chapter before trying a second.
| nope chapter 1 . 5/13/2009
write the story in proper format before posting it on ffnet. script format fics aren't allowed so chances are youre going to get reported.
i would have suggested a more original title, but i guess your main hook is that this is based off of lathis' work so it wouldnt really be my place to say that.
i didnt even read this chapter, although i hope to once you've rewritten this as an actual story. not a scene.
don't be lazy!