|Reviews for The Heir Apparent|
| DMO chapter 56 . 2/27
Hello, I noticed that this was stopped a good two/three years ago and was reading this for the first time. Amazing story and even though there is a tiny chance of you getting this, I do hope you finish it!
| Great chapter 56 . 10/24/2014
An interesting story! Some elements are similar to the manga, but they're definetely different. I hope you update soon, since this is an awesome story. Why do I think that the first one to ask for the final game dies? Oh well, Looking forward to more!
| RukiaBerry chapter 56 . 10/9/2014
You have to continue with this story I mean seriously you know how hard it is to find good stories? Please oh please contine I'll be waiting
| Sailor Pandabear chapter 56 . 9/6/2014
| Ordoera chapter 24 . 9/5/2014
Why cant it Nazi of the past
| jcampbellohten chapter 56 . 3/31/2014
Wait, you have a beta-checker and there are still all the spelling mistakes and punctuation problems I've been seeing this whole time? Wh... Either your beta is focusing on helping with content and isn't spell/grammar-checking, isn't great at it, or might even be at fault for making the punctuation worse for all I know. Whoo, okay. By the way, did you change betas at some point? I noticed the characters started saying "Captain [name]" instead of "[name]-taichou" and at some other point you went from characters saying full English translations of spell names to them saying the Japanese and you translating at the end.
Anyway, I really like your creativity in having come up with people's Bankais (and creating Kuukaku's and the Quincys' abilities completely from scratch). I also like how you came up with backstories for several events and characters and tied them in with past canon events and characters' known histories. The characterization I'd give a 7/ or 8/10 for as well. The only thing off the top of my head I didn't like was the lack of pacing in the development of Ichigo and Rukia's romantic relationship: they started off ambiguously close as in canon, then there was a ton of blushing with a side-order of a couple of somewhat clichéd romance-building incidents, straight to "you're the most important person in my life, I love you!"
I hope you get around to finishing this, especially seeing as it's apparently so close to the end. I'd like to see how the cavalry gets through the barrier, and how the prisoners get freed.
| jcampbellohten chapter 45 . 3/30/2014
I like how you incorporated Aizen's background motivation, and tied a few other things in from canon. Also, you obviously put a buttload of thought into this judging by your notes at the end, but a few things I think you overthought. Concerning Yamamoto vs. Kyouraku/Ukitake, 1) Yamamoto wasn't necessarily fighting to kill them, and 2) just because Kyouraku put up a calm demeanor doesn't mean he wasn't scared. Also: yes, as unbelievable as it may or may not sound, Yamamoto and 'em are in fact over a millennium old. I think Kyouraku/Ukitake were chronologically, if not his first students, at least in the first class of students at the Shinou academy, which Yamamoto started. Yamamoto calls them Shunsui and Juushiro when he sees them fall in battle over Karakura and loses his military decorum for a minute; that's too close of a bond for them to have without having been very close for longer than you describe. There's other stuff, I think, but I can't remember what it was.
| jcampbellohten chapter 39 . 3/30/2014
Thanks for the list, that clears some stuff up. I was actually picturing Daiken as Danzou from Naruto, haha
| jcampbellohten chapter 40 . 3/30/2014
| jcampbellohten chapter 38 . 3/30/2014
You sort of called Yamamoto being killed brutally by the Quincy leader, and the use of the concept of opposites (though it was used by Kubo as Shinigami/Human, Hollow/Quincy).
| jcampbellohten chapter 37 . 3/30/2014
Really like the part about the "rain" and "cold" at the very end.
| jcampbellohten chapter 34 . 3/30/2014
| jcampbellohten chapter 30 . 3/30/2014
Yeah, I was wondering why he didn't go to shield Mikio from the arrows at least. They weren't part of the fight for pride, and Shunsui seemed like he had his wits about him. Anyway, idk how far along the manga was when you wrote this part, but it's very similar to what Aizen did/will do about 20-30 years before the present.
| jcampbellohten chapter 27 . 3/30/2014
I was wondering why no one moved to take the body with them on their way back to Soul Society, but I guess if there's a squad dedicated to such things (I would think part of the Onmitsukidou, but Twelfth Division makes sense also) the gang could decide to let them do it. Regarding Hinamori, when is the Gate Guardian going to give Ichigo the note?
| jcampbellohten chapter 26 . 3/30/2014
Byakuya and Kenpachi being sort-of friends is actually one of the biggest deviations from canon in this whole story, to me; in canon they hate each other's guts. I've forgotten to mention it because it's such a small part of the story, but with your A/N this chapter I had to bring it up. Besides that, you're good at plot and content—you know, big picture stuff—and at arguments and banter, but the romantic/fluffy dialogue needs work. Also, it's "Tensa Zangetsu," not "Tense Zangetsu" as you've consistently called it.
How would Quincys in Soul Society use their powers? I feel like their spiritual powers would be just like any other soul's in the afterlife, which would translate to most likely being Shinigami powers. Can't be sure, though.