|Reviews for Smoke|
| Krixel chapter 1 . 2/15/2010
Wow, so I haven't read Zoids fiction in a really long time, because quite honestly most of it is horrible these days. I'm really glad I suddenly had a random urge to check the Zoids fandom anyway though, because this was really good. You seem to be one of the few writers who can actually keep Raven in character, and I very much commend you for that. I loved the interaction between him and Ryss, and found it very fitting for their relationship at that point in the show. I'd love it if you decided to write more Zoids fanfiction with these characters, because I think you do a really awesome job with them. Kudos!
| Cerulean Crystal chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
it's sweet and in character. it's been years since i last read a zoids story cause there aren't any good ones out there but i really like this one. maybe you will write a post-second-destruction-of-death-saurer story about them. it will be nice.
| LuminiaAravis chapter 1 . 6/6/2009
What a creative story! I like how you can take part of the plot and then squeeze in a little "what if this happened" excitement. Your sentences are really long, though. Try breaking them down for readability. Your style is rich and descriptive, as is your vocabulary! Keep up the good work!
P.S. I luv Raven, and smoking is a turn-off for me. Oh well!
| pointytilly chapter 1 . 5/16/2009
Oh yay, Raven and Reise stuff that ISN'T fluffity fluff. I mean that seriously, Raven is nicely grouchy here, and they're more fun to see interact when they're snarking at each other. I also like that you gave him an "uncool" bad habit like smoking...he's totally not the sort to care about the possible cancer later :p.
Not grammar so much as editing nitpick: "sure, the dead, hollow, stone statue that used to be his partner was a mere few yards away, but he was so damn drained that he couldn't think straight even if it meant life or death."
I think that'd work better as just "so damn drained that he couldn't think straight" or maybe "so damn drained it didn't matter"?
| randomcat23 chapter 1 . 5/15/2009
Nice little piece you got here. I'm not a big Raven fan, but your story grabed my attention. Loved the descritions, particularly at the beginning. The characters were very in-character, which I applaud you for.
I didn't catch any huge grammar mistakes, so that's good too.
I enjoyed this and I hope to see more from you soon!
| ShadowRebirth37 chapter 1 . 5/15/2009
Aww... this was such a good little one-shot! - Poor Raven, he didn't deserve to have poor Shadow died. T.T
I did spy a few small accuracy errors that I thought I would bring to your attention. Raven doesn't have a Geno Saurer during this time in the series, he has the Geno Breaker. And by this time, Reese's Double Sworder was destroyed and she should have the Psycho Geno Saurer. You probably haven't seen the show in awhile like me, so I understand a few minor details being wrong. Happens to me in my fics all the time, so no worries! ;P
Lol. I totally agree with Reese. Smoking is bad! XD Good for her to try and stop him. lol. I thought this was really rather sad, this part in the series always made me depressed. Poor Shadow didn't deserve to die! D: *cries* But just think, if he hadn't died, Raven wouldn't have made it to Zoid Eve to save Van's arse. XD
This was really good! I really liked it! You are very good at writing Zoids! I hope you write some more Zoids fics in the future! ;D Oh, and thank you for the review! -
Great job! :D
| 9TailedFox chapter 1 . 5/15/2009
Gretings from the 9TailedFox. Sorry, its just how I introduce myself. Anyway, This was a great story, and congrats on your first Zoids poisting.
I personally dont care for smokeing or swearing, but your writing skills are very good. Word choices and descriptions were perfect, painted a clear picture while still alowing room for imagination. Your charectors were also in charactor as far as behavior, and the subtle yet obvious paring was nicely done. Awsome job, and hope you do more here in Zoids.