|Reviews for Beloved|
| Brittni chapter 4 . 2/5
You were right. He really dick.
| EvilReceptionistOfDoom chapter 19 . 10/1/2016
Okay, so, this story hooked me from page one, to the extent that it is 6 am where I live and I haven't slept because I was reading as fast as I possibly could! It was a very good story - I love that Chagum basically knighted Tanda and Balsa so they could come and go whenever. I was kind of hoping he'd make Balsa the eighth warrior, ha ha. And I think the stupid Emperor's end was very fitting, and naturally Shuga is Chagum's right-hand man. Plus I think you nailed the characters pretty darn well. Good job, sorry I was so impatient but I just couldn't go to bed without reading to the end, ha ha. Now I see why this story has so many reviews! :D
| EvilReceptionistOfDoom chapter 8 . 10/1/2016
I confess I raced through the preceding chapters to get here, since the cliffhanger at the end of part one had me too caught up to stand waiting. Now the Mikado's plan becomes clear! Blame Rota, start a war, take their land - two birds with one stone. Clever indeed.
| EvilReceptionistOfDoom chapter 4 . 10/1/2016
1. The Mikado is cray.
2. Shuga can be a bit thick sometimes. XDX Like, Jin might as well have said, "We were supposed to kill the Empress and I made sure Chagum didn't get killed then, and someone is definitely going to try to kill him now, just FYI," and Shuga would probably still not get it. Also, I can't imagine he'd be much of a protector in the event of an assassination attempt. Not that he wouldn't try. He's just a bit... inadequate, lol. He should've taken Chagum's offer to do pushups on the lawn. XD
3. Again I say: the emperor cray. And poor Chagum! And good, loyal Shuga. And poor, poor Chagum. :(
| EvilReceptionistOfDoom chapter 3 . 10/1/2016
Reading the interaction between Chagum and the First Empress, I'm thinking, Does it not occur to him that maybe SHE'S lonely? I mean, she lost her son - she's just as alone as Chagum. But then she goes on to talk about the mikado's bad temper, so it's clear that's not her motive. But still.
Chagum sure is innocent, though. All signs point to his number being up now that there's an heir again. DX
Again: this is really well-written! I was planning to just skim and see if the Hunters got mentioned at all, but I'm actually reading every word and dying to know what happens next. Good job!
| EvilReceptionistOfDoom chapter 2 . 10/1/2016
This story is really well-written, a welcome and pleasant surprise! (Rare enough on this website.) My heart just breaks for Chagum. The Emperor is a dick and I really feel for Chagum's situation - you did a great job getting that across, the polite language that's just totally detached from affection or love, and yet Chagum still being sympathetic towards his jerk of a father. I will definitely keep reading!
| KL93 chapter 11 . 1/2/2016
Yeah this is definitely a wild tale
| KL93 chapter 6 . 1/2/2016
Uwah I ship rands and balsa so hard but yeah this sounds pretty canon. I don't remember them arguing at all though..
| KL93 chapter 3 . 1/2/2016
Wow never knew there would be a prince so eager to hand off power haha.
| KL93 chapter 2 . 1/2/2016
Oh this breaks my heart. Chagum is such a good boy :'(
| KL93 chapter 1 . 1/2/2016
I had the same reaction when I found the anime. Seriously why didn't I watch it sooner? Haha. Indulging myself with this. Lovely writing style
| Zachary K chapter 21 . 11/23/2015
Before I start the review, I would like to state that I've not read the books yet, only watched the anime. Also, to anyone preemptively reading reviews in order to decide if it's worth reading, 1: It is, 2: Spoilers ahead. I've placed a bunch of spaces below, to prevent seeing anything you don't want to.
I suppose I'll start with the things I didn't like about it first (I promise, there's not many!). The Mikado: He seemed a little out of character, motivated by greed as he was. Although I suppose one could argue he wasn't motivated by greed. He just wanted Chagum dead because he believed it would be best for the empire if his third son took the crown after him, believing Chagum is unfit to rule. Regardless, it just didn't feel right, I couldn't see him killing off all the villages to go to war when he could avoid it.
Second: Balsa. While, for the most part, you stayed amazingly true to the character, some of the words she used seemed a little... off, for her. I just couldn't see her calling him "Brave Prince", or "Kotora." Then again, what fun is a fanfiction if you don't try to paint a different side of the character? Balsa clearly has a motherly side that the anime didn't cover a whole lot, and seeing Chagum distraught as he was could've brought out a softer side in her. I'd also point out, again, I've never read the books, she may behave slightly differently in the novels. If so, feel free to point that out.
That's honestly it, as far as negative things go. Now, on with the things that I thought were really well done.
The fanfiction as a whole was very descriptive, without dragging on; a skill I don't see much. I felt as though I always knew what something looked like, without wishing it'd just hurry up and get back to the story. I Highly applaud that.
Characterization: Aside from the two minor points I mentioned earlier, the characters were pretty much spot-on. Chagum was wise, but still showed signs of being young and new to politics. His decisions (Particularly the ones involving Balsa and Tanda at the end) seemed like choices he would've made in the show. Balsa was strong without seeming stone cold, and caring without seeming mushy. Tanda was pretty spot on, a soft, caring individual, and madam Torogai was as blunt as she was in the show, and the dialogue she used seemed appropriate for her character.
Pacing: The pacing was wonderful. A slow buildup to a rather tense action scene, followed by a small lull (A believable one, as well), with a buildup to an ending worthy of the time spent working up to it.
Speaking of the ending, it was very well done. I love how you managed to keep Balsa and Chagum close, without forcing Balsa to settle down completely. Chagum's plan to abdicate seemed very in character, showing that, although he does think things through, he sometimes doesn't think of all the scenarios. Clearly not realizing that, as Mikado, he'd have wives and children eventually to tie him down.
I loved how you managed to convey emotion, without being so blunt as to say it outright. The sprinting scene, for instance. She clearly pushed herself to the breaking point, just for him, showing that she cares deeply for Chagum. And on the other end, Chagum practically carrying Balsa to a safe spot to rest. All together probably one of my favorite moments in the story, and probably one of, if not the most well written scenes.
Another point that the sprinting scenes reminded me of; you did an amazing job at making Balsa tough, but not indestructible. After a brutal run, adrenaline carried her to a (Close) victory, and then she was weak, the fight having taken its tole on her. That may seem like a simple thing to do, but many fanfictions I've read will have their favorite character browbeat 100 trained soldiers and walk away unharmed.
Overall, this is a wonderfully written story; staying true to the original characters, and managing to guide the story to a conclusion that was happy, without being unrealistic. Honestly, if I could never find out what happens in the novels that are untranslated, I would happily consider this the ending. I'm giving it a 10/10. The multiple pros well outweigh the small, almost nitpicky cons. I'll definitely be looking at some of your other work, and hope you continue to write fanfiction in the Moribito universe; you clearly have a strong grasp on these characters.
| Anon chapter 16 . 7/11/2015
Loving your story! You are seriously just the best for writing it. :)
| SkywardQuill chapter 11 . 11/1/2014
Well, I really love this fanfiction so far, but there's one thing that bothers me. See, the anime made a point of justifying everybody's actions in a way that made it so that there wasn't a clear villain. Basically, if I'm talking in tropes, Rousseau Was Right. I'm not saying that I agree with the Mikado's actions in the anime, but I can understand that he simply put his duties as a country leader in front of his duties as a father, and while that's certainly not the right thing to do the way I see it, it at least didn't make him a complete bastard. So I just find his actions in your fanfic OoC. He was never motivated by greed.
Sorry, it seems like I'm complaining a lot, but this is the only problem I have with this fanfiction so far. I'm honestly really enjoying it!
| Luka - chan 64 chapter 1 . 10/6/2014
Good job! I loveeee this FF its my absolute favorite. Hope ya were going to wirte more storrys about Moribito. ;D