Reviews for Balance
turkeyboyeli chapter 3 . 2/2
AszsesDD#DD WAR
Guest chapter 17 . 1/17
This is just boring now
Guest chapter 3 . 1/16
Yep completely realistic, you make friends with the first person you see and then train them to be more powerful even though you don't know them well
CRose chapter 7 . 12/13/2016
This is a pretty good story but there is a difference between telling a story and showing a story. This could easily be expanded into an epic story just by fleshing out the scenes with conversations and such. So much potential for that.
JemDragon84 chapter 2 . 12/3/2016
Your story has a good story line but there are inconsistencies. The text books that Hrry found would not be the same that were currently being used several hundred years later. Also going into the information about owning Hogwarts would be something a very Harry would ask about; is it just the castle or the land it is on and surround it? Would he have any say in the running of Hogwarts as he is the Heir of the founders? And the like. As Dumbledore uses it as his base knowing the power he can use over Hogwarts put him at the advantage. Also a little more awe about the Merlin connection from both harry and the goblins of would have been appropriate as it was Merlin himself vault and staffs, that is a big deal in the Wizarding world. The vaults he now has, the titles that gives him an extremely strong advantage now, don't have your characters dismiss or act blasé about that. Details are important. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Not criticism, just noting.
Shela chapter 1 . 11/10/2016
I love the plot and story you have put together here mate. I know that as a rule of thumb, one needs to break up the dullness of repeating a name or pronoun too often. I get that. But one criticism I have to give you is that you WAY over did it with the adjectives in place names or pronouns. The resourceful Potter heir, the young teleporter, the shape shifting Potter, the intelligent green eyed Potter heir and other such mouthfuls are just way Way WAY too frequent to the point that it hurts to read. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, I only mean to really drive the point home. If you only used those substitutions 1/4 of the time that would work. I urge you to reread and correct this issue if only to make it easier for myself and others to read. You have "The resourceful son of James and Lily Potter"... "The jade orbed intuitive learner"... and "The messy haired sorcerer" all in the same paragraph for crying out loud.

This is a great story but this issue takes what should be a 10/10 down to a 5/10. Other than this one issue, it is a great story.
Guest chapter 5 . 11/2/2016
Harem stories, IMHO, are generally the worst fanfics. There's never really a point, it's unrealistic, characters are OOC, the storyline plot gets mudded, lost or backburnered.
Skeletickles chapter 3 . 10/16/2016
Bro... you are shit at writing.
Skeletickles chapter 2 . 10/16/2016
STOP CALLING HIM RANDOM ASS NAMES! JUST CALL HIM HARRY!
stevefocus chapter 18 . 9/7/2016
Great story, looking forward to reading your other work.
Guest chapter 18 . 9/5/2016
that was awesome needs more dialog but still awesome
Deathmvp chapter 18 . 8/21/2016
great work on this story I really enjoyed reading it posted from my cell phone
samzferg chapter 1 . 8/18/2016
How many descriptions of Harry do you have?
Hikari Nova chapter 18 . 8/6/2016
Always a good read though to me the sequel is lacking big time compared to this
Bronze chapter 9 . 8/4/2016
Geeze! The end of this chapter reads like the end of the story! That really threw me off for a moment there. Don't confuse me like that! It's too easy! So behave yourself! :-)
503 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »