|Reviews for Balance|
| KitkatMoon chapter 18 . 6/24
| Guest chapter 2 . 6/1
I cant take it anymore. Is it so hard to say 'he'? You have referred to him in so many ways that i've lost track of the story trying to count. In the first 4 paragraphs alone here is the breakdown:
Resourceful Young Man-1
The Slim Wizard-1
Again this is only in 4 paragraphs. I have no idea if anyone still reads this but I can't read anymore of it unless this is fixed.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/20
It gets annoying that you use so many different ways to describe to Harry (or others persons) instead of directly, especially in ways that don't have anything to do with the current context.
You have a whole lot of paragraphs that are about Harry. There is nothing wrong with that, the story is about him. But he is described as the Potter male (is there any female alive within five year to the past or future from this point in the story?), the Potter heir (he doesn't know anything about an inheritance at this point), the teleporter, the shape shifter, the messy haired youth, messy haired preteen, green eyed male, green eyed young man, curious young man (he is still nine, and the sentence is not about being curious). I know it can get repetitive to just refer to him as 'Harry' or 'he', but this is the other extreme. Especially teleporter and shape shifter are used so often that they also become repetitive, and each expression requires a moment to think whether you are still talking about Harry or someone else. You could also refer to Harry as the underfed, starved, abused, beaten, rag wearing, owner of 123.456 hairs on his head. But I would not recommend it unless it has some relation to the rest of the sentence.
At one point you used the 'Potter youth's relatives' instead of 'Dursleys'. It's just plain easier to understand if you call them Dursleys, and there was not even another mention of Dursleys in the paragraphs previous or next, so no need to invent new ways to refer to them.
That said, it's good to see a story where Harry experiments with and develops his powers and doesn't wait for Dumbledore or his lackeys to pretend to rescue him, and hopefully doesn't allow himself to be controlled by Dumbledore. I consider Dumbledore one of the worst characters in the whole series. Voldemort just wants Harry dead. Dumbledore wants Harry to be so miserable that he would be willing to die, all the while admiring Dumbledore.
Harry was supposed to be cunning enough for Slytherin. It seems all the cunning was lost when je chose Gryffindore.
| raging fire storm chapter 3 . 5/17
dont need to add quotation marks for every sentence...just when there is a break in the Dialogue like: he said, he asked etc. otherwise excellent start of the plot. good pace
| Velial13 chapter 9 . 5/17
Yeah, let the young muggleborns blow up a wall in their houses, and then there would be no one to fix it, because they ara - surprise, surprise - MUGGLEBORNS! Their parents would have to explain why they have a horses tail groing out of their head at work, or why they can't speak, but only bark, and pay a shit load of money on repair of property damage thich every wizarding parent could've fixed with one spell, or force the ministry to waste resources and manpower to do something what was prevented, by one single, logically sound law, but no, it should be equality, it would be especially fun when someone's parent dies in a magical accident because a young wizard is dumb, but nothing prevents him from using magic without precautions.
| Velial13 chapter 3 . 5/17
When was the last time you saw animal terrorists?)
| mckertis chapter 4 . 4/4
Oh the cliches, glorious, badly done, cliches !
| eatfoodcake chapter 18 . 3/25
Good concept needs to be flesh out
| Rebmul chapter 12 . 3/5
this is a interesting story but its basically just summaries of the episodes if harry was there there's no character interaction
| Rebmul chapter 10 . 3/5
there really isn't much dialog in your stories well at least your old ones
| Rebmul chapter 4 . 3/5
| brokenstrings001 chapter 18 . 2/21
WTF.. every chapter is a summary..
| turkeyboyeli chapter 3 . 2/2
| Guest chapter 17 . 1/17
This is just boring now
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/16
Yep completely realistic, you make friends with the first person you see and then train them to be more powerful even though you don't know them well