I thank you for the chapter.

I thank you for the chapter.

I thank you for the chapter.

I thank you for the chapter.

I thank you for the chapter.

I thank you for the chapter.

I thank you for the chapter.

Let me start off with the constructive criticisms so that I can end this review with the awesome points. The story as written is very dry with very little personal interaction like dialogue which is essential to making a reader feel like they are part of a story. It reads like a first draft that would later be expanded with a lot more detail. As it stands, it contains very little emotion, feeling rather clinical, more like tale passed down through generations of oral tradition rather than something meant to draw someone in like a novel or play.

With that said, it's got a lot of potential and displays a great deal of imagination. I've reread this several times over the course of the years since I first found it. That should tell you how interesting it is despite my above criticisms. What I would suggest you do is split it up into two stories, the Hogwarts years and the Stargate years. You could then expand both stories with the additional details and dialogue etc that this one is currently lacking. That would transform it from a "good idea" to a truly "epic" tale-for-the-ages type of story. You've got the skeleton of such an epic tale here, now you just need to flesh it out to be more human instead of vulcan.

Interesting storyline. Ive only seen first 3 seasons of stargate sg1 so i was pretty lost but i was able to understand most. Good story was fun to read.

Many unneccessary names for Harry, annoying shorts like EM, PJ etc and generally just retelling the series and adding pedophilie is not a good base for a crossover.

my second time through this first fanfic. it's still just as good.ʘ‿ʘ

Omd love it lol

Urgh... This reads like badly done high-school homework with a minimum letter count... Writing "The immensely curious enchanter" instead of "He" doesn't add anything to the story, other then making it really annoying to read. This sort of descriptive identification should be limited to scenes dealing with more then one character of the same gender, and then it should be limited to a specific descriptive element that the characters involved does not share, like hair or skin color, or physical build.
I almost felt like printing this and getting out my red pen...

This was... ok.

Some things that you could improve:

1. More showing, less tellingThis gave off the distinct feel of a report telling me what happened. However, very like showing.

2. OP HarryMaking Harry the heir of the the founders and Merlin makes him way over powered and it just gets worse as it goes on as there doesn't seem to be anything he can't handle. There is no failure for Harry and none of the rest of SG-1 can shining by bringing their special skills to bear if Harry is always fixing the problem so easily. There was almost no point to Harry bring a team most of the time.

3. No one questioning Harryespecially early on people not even questioning Harry's methods or barely questioning them.

5. Veela HarryIt was so easy as to be seriously unrealistic.

6. Being back the dead

I did enjoy Vala and Sirius though. (amused)

Don't misunderstand I did enjoy this or I wouldn't have finished it. i just had to suspend my disbelief a lot. I hope you continue to write and improve. Some of your ideas were very fun.

It was pretty good, some parts seemed a little rushed but it was pretty good