|Reviews for Two Birds One Stone|
| oshagirl chapter 44 . 8/9/2013
I'm going to review the entire story here, because i thought it would be handier.
First of all, i enjoyed the story, but i'm a bit dissapointed.
the story seems as if it only did most important things. When you said in your first author's note that you were going to give more details, but i didn't notice. As most events are written in dialogue form, it sometimes very confusing to know what's going on, since i don't remember every episode. So some things were very hard to imagine, like what Klaus's sectret tunnel looked like. was it like a hallway; or more like a sewer? Next is the time skips, they weren't always clear. This story was clearly written in a movie-like form, instead of a story-like form.
Ayden is a good character, but shows not much development during the story, when she has a change of attitude, it's hard to guess what exactly caused it. The fact that we rarely see into her head, it's hard to see what Ayden is thinking, and makes it harder to understand her and her relationshiip with others. We know she's in love with Shun, but we barely know why they like eachother, making her personality, and according to the story, his, very shallow. Ayden relationship with other characters is in general very shallow since we don't know what she thinks of others. It's impossible she gets along with everyone perfectly. when spectra/Keith joined the brawlers, we have no, absolutely nothing, of an opinion of what she thinks of that. Next is Lync, and the first chapter. Why is Lync chasing Ayden? How do they know each other? How did she get out of the city to end up in the woods? What was Shun doing there? Azreal, he's a great bakugan with a good design (i saw your deviantart), but we don't know much about him either. As for the spin-of story about what happened with him when he was gone, i suggest adding them into the story.
Don't get me wrong, i like the story's idea, and events.
I just think the story needs to be rewritten, just for those details and character development.
| Skyla-chan.99 chapter 27 . 1/8/2013
OMG! That was a perfect kiss scene! :) Nice chapter
| Antex-The Legendary Zoroark chapter 41 . 9/17/2012
Huh. I thought Ayden also had Brontes as well. Where is he?
| DementoFantasy chapter 46 . 8/19/2012
I love this story!Ayden i awesome :)
| silver blue moon fox chapter 40 . 12/10/2011
it was great why are you punching yourself
| silver blue moon fox chapter 27 . 12/10/2011
are you kidding the kiss was prefect and i like the way they communicate he flirts winks and then she blushes perfect
| silver blue moon fox chapter 18 . 12/10/2011
love it still loving it beutifull writing skills
| silver blue moon fox chapter 12 . 12/10/2011
awesome an almost kiss part i would be disapointed if they had kissed but i realy think you have talent to write something like this love ya for writting this bye
| silver blue moon fox chapter 10 . 12/10/2011
awesome not to fluffy or to hard just the way i like it she's not mary sou but she is not too tough and u did not rush her and shun just small parts i like it good job.
| Storyteller222 chapter 46 . 7/29/2011
Well this was an interesting Story Read right through it, I find the ShunXOC paring to be interesting too.
| keiji chapter 44 . 7/18/2011
spreed love so love can coucer all
| R-Mac chapter 44 . 6/26/2011
This was a great story. From the very first chapter to the last I was completely hooked into the plot and seeing a different side of a number of the brawlers, either it was you're point of view of their personalities or not, it doesn't matter. It would be interesting to see what comes next in your other stories.
| sansrivaille chapter 43 . 6/21/2011
| PythagTheDragon chapter 46 . 6/5/2011
Im on a review rampage so sorry if i tend to repeat myself.
I loved this story! This was the first good Bakugan story with an OC in it that I read and I still come back and read it. I can't believe how clueless Ace is and he's so sweet as an overprotective older brother.
I know you asked the question in 'Spread your Wings' but I'm answering it now, even though it's a little late: yes I do think you should continued your AydenxShun stories into the next season (can't remember what it's called and I haven't watched it yet) I can't get enough of the couple!
Sorry if my reviews were kinda long but this is the last review in my review rampage (I really should've thought up a better name for that) so this one might've just been repeating what I've been saying in your other fics and that's basically that I love your stories so please keep writing them! If you stop 'The social Club' I will hate you.
To end on a positve note, I still love your writing and your stories so thanks for the effort you put into them, and I wish you happy writing.
| whatthehaleisgoingon chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
Oh. My. God.
Luv this fanfiction.
Make a sequel where Ace finds out.